My worst latest… Instant Ramen noodles and my poor attempt to duplicate the soup base packet without using MSG… ewww… And often I make the worst dishes for myself when experimenting with my cooking. x_x
*runs to the toilet to throw up*
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Comic Talk and General Discussion *
What's the worst cooking you've ever (or attempted to) eat? And who made the dish?
Urrgh, i dunno if my mom was high that day or what, but she tried to make this experimental meatloaf from hell by using an entire loaf of Velveeta cheese.
I swear to god it was like that Kraft macaroni dinosaur took a dump down my throat, so slimy and chunky and *shudders*
A while back my aunt made what I think was a pumpkin pie and….well…I think she forgot the sugar or something. *cringe*
I'd also like to mention that ALL of my school's food was terrible every single time. Dry and flavorless burgers, funny tasting pizza, chili that literally made me puke, disgusting gravy, ect. ect. Even their eggs were bad…how can you ruin eggs?!
i made this cake once. wasnt necissairly the worste thing i ever tasted, but i certainly dont think it was good for me. my boyfriend had just gone back home and his birthday had just passed and i wanted to make a cake for him but he didnt want me to, so i figured i'd save it for myself after he left,so i started making it but figured out i didnt have all the ingrediants. i forgot what all i did, i know somewhere along the line i substituted beer for milk there was also peanutbutter and huge amounts of powerdered sugar involved. the cake came out purple, and there were two kinda of ehr…homemade frosting on it. one watery green layer and one thick orange lumpy layer.it actually wasnt half bad!ate the entire thing by myself but lemme tell ya, i dont think anyone's EVER taken as magical looking dump as i did after that. it was swirled with the same colors as the cake!hahaha! mighta been a wise decision on Liam's part not to let me cook that for him.
Just about anything my Grandma on my dad's side makes. Being that they lived in poverty, she used to stretch everything out by putting bread, peppers and stuff into the meat. That and she was just a bad cook all around. She once gave me some juice when I was little and it had mold in it. *Shudder* Nasty shit, man.
Another food topic huh!?
Well, ok:
A tea cake, coated in melted butter, sugar and cinnamon.
Normally that would be delicious… but only if you give it the lightest of brushes with the butter, sugar and cinnamon. Well since those three things are quite yummy, and even yummier on a tea cake, I thought that putting a whole LOT more of it on the cake would make it even better!
No. No, it dose not.
Too much cinnamon tastes exactly like soap, too much butter tastes like congealed fat, and oo much sugar does nothing to off-set that mess. I rendered a freshly baked tea cake utterly inedible by coating it with that muck. But that didn't stop me trying.
It was revolting, and even worse when it cooled off. Just the smell was enough to make me want to throw up for ages afterwards. -___-
I remember back in Home Economics class in middle school, our assignment was to create a casserole. My group concocted a tuna fish casserole with peas, topped with corn chips. It was the worst thing I believe I have ever tasted.
I also recall making a carrot cake based on my husband's grandma's famous recipe. It usually comes out fine, but apparently I added too much sugar one time, and it was as heavy and hard as a concrete brick. Just goes to show you that cooking is indeed like conducting a science experiment…sometimes stuff comes out great, and sometimes it comes out a mess.
Lukewarm grits, sticks of bacon and watery eggs in the rain in the field. The coffee tasted like gritty battery acid. Army cooks. Who else?
Then there was the morning after one NCO was quoting "Green Eggs and Ham" (he had spent the week reading it hundreds of times to his five-year old) and for breakfast; we had green eggs and ham. It wasn't food coloring. It really was green.
"I will not eat green egss and ham Sergeant Sam
I will not eat it in the rain
I will not eat it while we train
I will not eat it on the tank
I will not eat it despite your rank!
I will not eat green eggs and ham Sergeant Sam!"
I was in Japan and at local gathering of foreigners where they celebrated "cultural food night". A nice Chinese lady gave me some of a tofu dish she made and it was all I could do to pretend it tasted good as I ate it. Typically I'm fine with tofu, but this stuff was making me want to vomit. She tried giving me more, and I had to discretely dispose of it.
EDIT: Oh, and when my brother came back from the UK, he tried fixing something called "Toad in the hole" (but I call it "wiener cake" ). He didn't fix it correctly, and we ended up eating undercooked sausages surrounded by undercooked cornbread batter.
Lukewarm grits, sticks of bacon and watery eggs in the rain in the field. The coffee tasted like gritty battery acid. Army cooks. Who else?
Then there was the morning after one NCO was quoting "Green Eggs and Ham" (he had spent the week reading it hundreds of times to his five-year old) and for breakfast; we had green eggs and ham. It wasn't food coloring. It really was green.
"I will not eat green egss and ham Sergeant Sam
I will not eat it in the rain
I will not eat it while we train
I will not eat it on the tank
I will not eat it despite your rank!
I will not eat green eggs and ham Sergeant Sam!"
What rank were those army cooks? PFCs??? My uncle was a 94 Bravo, and he's one good cook. He's one of the reasons why I love cooking. I have to admit that I have tasted bad Army cooking myself. But those came in packages called "Meals Ready for Excrement"…
Lukewarm grits, sticks of bacon and watery eggs in the rain in the field. The coffee tasted like gritty battery acid. Army cooks. Who else?
What rank were those army cooks? PFCs??? My uncle was a 94 Bravo, and he's one good cook. He's one of the reasons why I love cooking. I have to admit that I have tasted bad Army cooking myself. But those came in packages called "Meals Ready for Excrement"…
A staff officer told me they assign the rejects from 94 Bravo school to combat arm line battalions. Bad food keeps combat soldiers angry. Makes them more aggressive on the battlefield.
Three MREs (meals rejected by everyone) a day for two weeks. You will never have a bowel movement again. I was a test subject in a couple of taste tests for new MRES recipes. You know it tastes good before they package it then put it in a case to be issued four years later and then the package is stuffed in a sponson box for weeks before it's eaten cold. lol!
Even their eggs were bad…how can you ruin eggs?!
Well, the eggs have to be real
As for me? Soy sauce milk. It wasn't a bout of drunkenness or high off of drugs that me and my sibling decided to drink soy sauce in milk (it was sheer boredom and a little bit of sadism there, too). My sister did it so she could bribe me into drinking it. Taunting me and my manliness really does a number on my already fragile mind.
I spent about ten/fifteen minutes dry heaving in the kitchen sink and gurgling as much water as I could from the faucet.
Another one would have to be fresh habanero pepper. My dad for heaven knows why, was growing them and again, my sister taunted me into licking it. The kitchen sink and I were rather frequent acquaintances throughout my childhood…
My first (and only) attmpt at making an egg sunny side up. We were out of butter so I used cooking oil, then I left it on the burner too long and one side was the texture of rubber while the other side was raw.
Being the OCD never-throw-food-away freak I am, I ate it and was ill the rest of the day. D: I'm glad I didn't get salmonella or something.
My first (and only) attmpt at making an egg sunny side up. We were out of butter so I used cooking oil, then I left it on the burner too long and one side was the texture of rubber while the other side was raw.The trick is to cook it at a lower temperature and to lift it up with a spatula so that it's no longer stuck to the pan. That way it will cook through without burning on the other side.
Home ed to the rescue. ^^
You know, I quite like to experiment with food. About a month ago, I tried deep frying pizza.
http://i68.photobucket.com/albums/i8/EquinoxandEMD/p_00025.jpg
http://i68.photobucket.com/albums/i8/EquinoxandEMD/p_00026.jpg
http://i68.photobucket.com/albums/i8/EquinoxandEMD/p_00027.jpg
http://i68.photobucket.com/albums/i8/EquinoxandEMD/p_00028.jpg
It wasn't very good.
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