12 Men Died Making This Strip

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Wanna buy some real estate?

4bit FPS

on Nov. 30, 2010

Do you want to buy the Milky Way? No, not the the candy bar. I mean the big spiraling mass of stars and stuff all centered around a super massive black hole, if so I can sell it to you. How? I own it. When did this occur? Oh, I would say about ten minutes ago when I decided to lay claim to it. No? Look, we’re friends, OK I don’t know you from Steven but when have we ever let that difference come between us? We’re friends, like I said (including the part where I said that is not exactly true) and I will make you a great deal on it. I know, it’s used, been around the block a couple million years, and you were really hoping for a galaxy that was more “newer.” You think you want something primordial, like a nebula, but you won’t live to see the investment mature on that, hell even humanity as a whole might be nothing but dust then. Stick with me kid, I know a good deal. What would it take for you to sign right on this dotted line here and walk away with this galaxy? What is stopping you? Payments? We can work on that, how’s 72 months sound? You can’t put any money down? Look I am reasonable, you want this galaxy and I want, no NEED, to sell you this galaxy. The new year’s models are coming out and I need to make some room on my lot. So what do you say? Do we have a deal?

Angeles Duran and Dennis Hope are interesting people. Interesting in the sense that both claim ownership of things you really can’t own, let alone naturally touch with you fingers. Angeles Duran claims ownership of the Sun (you know that conspicuous burning mass of plasma and hydrogen that is so dodgy to find that I am not sure it even exists) and Dennis Hope claims to own the Earth’s moon (you know that gray thing in the sky called, well, the Moon… Don’t worry I don’t believe it exists either.)

These individuals have set out to make a quick buck. The Moon is being parceled out in chunks of land, so you know, fuck Florida I am building my beach house on the Sea of Tranquility. The Sun, on the other hand, isn’t being chopped up. The Sun is staying in the sol (w00t! pun) ownership of one person, but everyone has to pay tax for getting its benefits. I am already quick to join up in the lawsuit over unwanted tanning issues and hope to make a clean $50 million even after all the court and lawyer fees are processed.

What these to people fail to really understand is the Treaty on Principles Governing the Activities of States in the Exploration and Use of Outer Space, including the Moon and Other Celestial Bodies. Oh, they think they understand enough to have found loopholes in the document allowing individuals to own celestial bodies, as opposed to governments, but they really don’t have much of a Near Earth Object to stand on. While it is true that the Treaty specifies “governmental agencies” it also makes note of “non-governmental agencies” and that is where celestial claims start to loose their footing. Sure, it is not outright stated, but then again no rational thinking individual or group of individuals ever contemplated that someone could claim ownership of something as ridiculous massive as something off of this world.

We live in interesting times (you know, that old chestnut of a Chinese curse). The good thing about it is, at least, it makes webcomics write themselves.

taken from 12mendied.com