3rd Party Fantasy

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#4 Remember Your Training

Evil Emperor Nick

on Jan. 19, 2006

I hope this one is clearer then the past three issues. I took the time to redo this one and save it in PNG format. Original I saved everything in JPG to make it fit DD file size requirement but this caused color loss making the images look dirty.

Anyway subject change: FF7 Before the Crisis. I have been and most likely always will be, a huge FF7 fan and more importantly a huge fan of the Turks. The Turks, name aside (nothing against actual Turks but I just wouldn't name my elite hit men after you guys) embody everything I like about video game villians. They can be hit by status effects, they attack in groups as opposed to they take one turn your part takes 6, they heal, they support, they are humorous and involved in the story. Oh sure you pretty much kick there ass up and down Midgard but hey they didn't have level breaks now did they? If Reno could do anything, even say attack you with a banana for a limit break in addition to adding to fan girl speculation about him, he would kill your party every single time. They wear suits and they look good doing it, much better then that crappy cloud sprite in the PURPLE outfit. Oh yea fan girls I said it. The Turks looked like someone you did NOT want to meet in a dark ally while most of the FF7 cast looked like Chibis on drugs.

So when I heard about a FF7 prequel staring not only all the classic Turks but a whole new set of everyones favroite blues brothers look alikes I was excited.

In true reversal format this time you are defending Shira Electric Power Company (damn right they rule the world, think about it ,in ever scifi movie who do they need to kill the monster? That is right the power company.) from the terrorist group AVALANCH (It is capatalize because Barret was incapable of not shouting anything.) and no doubt a lot of random monsters who some how manage to seek up in front of you everything time you take third step.

What is new and intersting is that this game will be released in chapters for cell phones only, no doubt so Sony can use the game to monitor your phone calls and subliminally suggest mircosoft in the devil. Incidentally Sony we already know Microsoft is evil and that they put little spy bots in MICROSOFT IS GOOD, WINDOWS IS YOUR FRIENDS, MONOPOLY IS FUN GAME NOT A MICROSOFT. Still there some cool ideas going into this game. Apparently there are some MMORG elements to the game and no that isn't some sort of Mako-radiocative Mog for you non games, though I am unclear on what these elements are as of yet. One of the more interesting features that takes advanatage of the cell phone format is that pictures on your cell phone can apparently be turned into materia for you characters to use. So now you can take a picture of your girl friend and when you break up turn her into something that will never let you down like Buhamat SSJ7 and you can fondly recall her as the lastest ultimate summon shows up and groans and grunts for 40 minutes before digorging some part of its anatomy at the enemy to do more 9's worth of damage then I care to speculate on.

The game is supposed to fill in a lot of background information and will feature Sepeheroth (Duh), Zack, The Truks, Cloud (who will no doubt have his past rewritten ala Star Wars.), the Shira corperate higher ups, Tiffa probably Dr. Ghast, Vincent, Areis/Aries's mom, and Cid.

I worry though the plot might be a tad predictable since we know the fate of 70% of the these characters from the start of the game. Luckly there are about 8 or so new Turks (helpfully not given names so you get to refer to them as Shotgun guy and Sword Chick if you want to talk about them) each with there own stories. More content and character are being added as the game expands chapter by chapter.

So in summery JPG bad, PNG good and I need to buy a cell phone.