3rd Party Fantasy

Author notes

#17 Enter the Bad Guys

Evil Emperor Nick

on Feb. 1, 2006

Okay good news. I've started work on a bonus comic called Chibi World, which was the name of a comic I used to do before I realized how much bad it was despite what my friends were telling me. It will be a four panel hand drawn comic with, you guessed it, super deformed style chibi's. The one problem is that since I don't have an artist I have to draw chibi world myself so unless I can get someone to take over the art I'm afraid it will be slow going and poorly drawn but nontheless funny. I'm hoping to have the first issue done by next week.

Rant

I am not an artist. An artist you see does there work for ‘themselves’, now that sounds to me like the most selfish thing in the world but they explain it as “testing their own artistic talent” or “Telling a story they always wanted to tell”. In fact artist are probably for the most part big liars. I’m more of a realist, I’m doing for me as defined as “Something I’m doing for attention and maybe money”, in doing so I’m also working for you the readers because if I don’t got you well then all I have is a load pixels loosely held together on the page by sarcasm. (Incidentally humor and sex appeal are like the protons and electrons of comic all matter with violence acting as neutrons. Some theorize the are other elements like, plot, drama, and character but I maintain these are the anti-mater of the comic universe and when the two come too close they explode spraying bits of megatoyko all over.) There for I have a rested interest in serving you the reader almost anything you want (No Peril is not going to turn around for you).

Artists by nature are critical of there work. (Seriously have you ever spoken to an artist who did claim the drew like a 3 year old with there feet no matter what there art looked like?) I on the other hand, a feel the to jump up and down, asking people “Isn’t it pretty?”, also unlike artists I’ve been known to not take negative comments well.

*Tape starts*
Me: Isn’t it pretty? *Said with the stupid glee of sugar high 3 year old blond*
Guy McPerson: What? What?
Me: My comic loooooooooooo(add an near infinite number of ‘o’s here)oooooooook!!!
Guy McPerson: Is that supposed to be you?
Me: What no of course not that is Vance! See his eyes are green, my eyes are brown.
Guy McPerson: Are you wearing a dress in this picture?
Me: NIEN! That is trench coat! And look he has a sword; who would wear a dress can carry a sword?
Guy McPerson: Hey don’t ask me. You were then one who drew yourself in a dress.
Me: Violence now.
Guy McPerson: Huh?
*Horrible and wet cracking sound*
Guy McPerson: Aaaaaah, aaaah, AAAAA!
Me: I guess you won’t be needing these anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAAHAHAHA!!!!
*Tap ends*

(Note from lawyer: Please note Evil Empire, Nicholas J.G. Stroffolino aka Evil Emperor Nick, and any subset personalities does not advocate the use of violence to solve criticism. The Emperor of Evil admits no wrong doing in the McPerson case and our official stance is he was missing those parts when my client found him.)

I’m not sure that I would quality as a writer either for similar reasons. So that begs the question how do I see myself? I see my self as an entrepreneur which I define as “Some one is not above taking advantage of people for their personal gratification and betterment and look good doing it.”

(Note from lawyer: Please note my client does not suggest and illegal activity by any of his statements and means in entertainment taking advantage of people’s sense of humor and natural appreciation of sprite art in order to produce a quality product. Further By looking good be means sexy not pretty and despite any rumors you may have heard wears coats not dresses. )

I probably like to think of myself in this light because otherwise I fall into the category of ‘talent less’ or as a starving artist whom I defined as “Not as Popular at parties as paid artists”.

*Tape starts*
*Sound of pencils*
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Starving Artist: I’m so lonely.
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*Tape ends*

(Note from lawyer: Please note my client does not suggest that Starving Artists are in anyway inferior to employed artists. He respects their wish to remain independent to explore topics of their choosing freely and without editing.)

And I….

(Note from lawyer: Pre-emptive retraction and apology)

…do a little bit of everything so I don’t think I can really be defined by any one aria at this time. Though honestly I would like to become a writer eventually and give up this life of internet ranting.

Anyway enjoy the comic and in all seriousness keep up the good work those of you with comics and thank you everyone for the comments especially those how keep up with it daily, I’m off to work on drawing chibies.