3rd Party Fantasy

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#58 Yes sir, No sir.

Evil Emperor Nick

on March 15, 2006

Rant

I love dance games. While probably it will turn out that they some how mutilate the cartilage in my legs according to a study done by the national institute for the demonization of video games in a few years I count them as a decent from of both entertainment an fun. Indeed I feel they give another layer to video games and in many ways provide a much higher degree of challenge. It is one of the few games that gets people’s hearts pumping instead of just chest pains. On a side note I hate nothing more then mandatory jumping puzzles in games. I was really challenging when I had to do it back on the Atari but I expect something a little bit less stupidly frustrating and move innovative today, but I digress. I also like dancing at parties. I’m not a break dancer or anything, heck I don’t even go to many parties, but when I do and there is dancing I am in. I even like dancing as part of musical numbers, both watching and doing. Seriously if it was socially acceptable the next time boss asked me how the project is going I’d break into a song about how screwed we are.

Nonetheless, I cannot for the life of me see the attraction do dancing in Online Role Playing Games. No matter where you go you see some D-cup obscenely tall amazon warrior/subclass hacker leaping about like they are in the Sound of Music 3: Punk Rocking in the Alps. (That is the one where they travel back in time and out dance the Nazis at the end in case you were wondering.) Surrounded by half a dozen people who are watching. Watching as they do 4 dancing moves over and over again. They bought the game, they paid to play the game, they paid for the internet, so they can watch someone’s animated avatar prance? (For the first time ever I suddenly understood the way my parents see virtually every thing I do.)

In anycase I decided to survey these dancing gatherings and find out what the deal is.

Here are the top three answers I got.

“Were Roll Playing”

Gregkron - By the Foehammer we have over come the scourge of rats that had invested this city. (OOC: DING level 2)
Crapaniel - Tis true my brave companion. Now let hurt make haste and return to the Master of Trade to obtain our reward. (OOC: Gra@tz1[The is italian L33t for congratulations.)
Magnus - (OOC: No it isn’t Gratzi is thank you.)
Crapaniel - (OOC: Not is isn’t, look don’t start this again just because you aren’t l33t like me.)
Silver Sister - Oh Grabton lets make out. (OOC: Hahahahaha)
Grekron - Eye tis time for ********* ***** ******** ****(OOC: Sorry the mods will kick me off if I try to make out with you.)
Silver Sister - *Swoon* (OOC: That is okay I am a dude)
Magnus - (OOC: You only got that crap off a megatokyo)
Crapaniel - Shout: (OOC: MAGNUS IS A CAMPER!)

“We’re Just Hanging Out”

I’m not going to dignify this one with parody. Serriously if you just want to chat I’ll make you a dancing avatar and then you can get the whole expeirence from AIM and save free up some bandwith for the rest of us.

“I am a bard”

Brad the Bard - *Dance, dance, dance dancy, dance*
*Ping you dancy dance skill has gone up by +1*
Brad the Bard - Dance, dance, dance dancy, dance, dance, dance dancy, dance, dance, dance dancy, dance, dance, dance dancy, dance, dance, dance dancy, dance, dance, dance dancy, dance, dance, dance dancy, dance, dance, dance dancy, dance, dance, dance dancy, dance.
*Ping your dancy dance skill has gone up by 1, you can now jig*
Brad the Bard- Jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig
*You fall down.*
Brad the Bard- Jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig,
*Ping your dancy dance skill has gone up by 1, you can now prance*
Brand the Bard - I should have taken the fricken wizard.

Now you see if I were designing a game, you would be able to dance like that, but if you did it for more then 20 seconds a guard would come over a smack you, hard!

Well I hope that was informative, I’m trying to get back into the swing of writing these things so I hope it amused. Remember to get your grove on everyone, I’m off to digital adventure.

*Ping your rant skill has gone up by 1*