Applied Living

Author notes

Sabbatical Savior

acadia

on June 22, 2008

Well, this is it. The fiftieth page of Applied Living.

It took us a year to get here, and while fifty is certainly no one-hundred or five-hundred, it's still a big deal for us. So big, that Dave and I are somewhat unsure as to whether or not this is the fiftieth strip (see "A Challenger Appears"), and so important, that neither of us prepared a rant or celebration beforehand. And I, at least, find that particularly funny.

Let's recap:

* * * * *

In the beginning, after the ambiguous creation of the earth by divine and/or scientific means, there were five elements: Earth, Air, Water, Fire, and Dave. There was a perfect balance between these essences. There was no filth, there was no pain, there was no want, there was no end; existence was an archetypal paradise.

Men, much like the earth, were brought to life through uncertain divine and/or scientific means. With a cornucopia of elements at their disposal, they were able to fully enjoy the fruits of a perfect paradise. Eventually, however, they realized that one of the five was greater than the other four, and soon wanted everything to be made out of Dave.

The other elements quickly protested the sudden desire for the paragon of essences, and began to squabble and scheme. Catastrophes devastated mankind and the world, until Dave spoke:

"I shall walk among men, and become one myself."

For he was benevolent and compassionate, caring for men and mother nature, and possessing the ability to switch between human and elemental form. Thus did Dave relinquish his throne and his power, to join creatures like you and I. His position was not filled until many, many years later, with the discovery of the 'Heart' element.

Dave made his way to Egypt, where he spoke again, this time to the Egyptians:

"I will show you the power of pictures, and it will lead you to great things, like pyramids, chariots, and Hebrews."

And so the Egyptians learned the secrets of art from Dave to create hieroglyphics, which they used to build pyramids and chariots, and which proved to be instrumental in the enslavement of the Hebrews. As a result, they became a very popular and famous culture, recognized by important figures like God and/or archaeologists such as Indiana Jones.

Convinced that he had saved mankind, Dave turned his attention to bearkind, and taught the stout beasts the secrets of mauling, tree-climbing, being grizzly, and hibernation. Further contented by his success, Dave chose to enter a slumber of thousands of years, kept under the watchful eyes of the Egyptians and the bears.

When he awoke, Dave found the world in chaos. The Romans, a shameless race of toga-ed barbarians, had take control of most of the world. Dave spoke, sternly:

"I will create a being whom will create a hero to fight this evil. My creation will have the intelligence of the Egyptians, but will exhibit the grizzly epicness of the bearfolk. And he will be known as Shaun."

And so Shaun was created. Behind his glasses, his eyes sparkled with the genius of his desert peers. Behind his epic beard that was like bear fur, he rumbled with the righteous strength of his rugged comrades. And then he traveled north, to a land of heavy metal and Vikings, where he called out a young local.

"I will teach you how to fight evil. And you will become a great hero, and the sole founder of an advanced, world-changing language known as 'English'."

The boy's name was Beowulf, prince of the Geats. He was scrawny and scared, but trembled away his fear and heeded the echoing commandments of Shaun.

For years Shaun raised the boy. He showed him the secrets of manhood and heroics; had him drink mead and eat raw meat until he was knotted with muscle and sinew. He trained the boy in swordplay and seamanship, until Beowulf was prepared to take part in the most epic of stories ever: a poem by the same name.

"You are prepared to take part in the most epic of stories ever, Beowulf. But you will need one more thing."

Thus Shaun sacrificed the bulk of his power, tearing his grizzly, rugged beard from his face and grafting it to Beowulf. The soon-to-be hero of the Geats burst and brimmed with power and heroism and epicness, whereas Shaun withered and weakened, only a bold soul patch remaining on his face. The prince spoke.

"I will never forget this, friend. Skol!"

So grateful and jubilant and epic was Beowulf, that he sailed to the land of the Danes and dismembered Grendel, spawn of Cain, with his naked hands. The story of the hero was so popular that a language of words was built around it, and the world soon became enlightened and literate.

Although the Romans had been defeated many years before Beowulf was finally prepared to fight evil, Shaun and Dave were still satisfied. Through the power of pictures and words, they had saved the world. Twice.

The two quasi-deities kept in touch over the years, before both enrolled in college. Partway through their second semester of their first year of higher education, Dave proposed to Shaun:

"We should make a comic."

The two agreed that it was a masterful plan. The world did not need saving, but having an extra instance of salvation on hand could do nothing but good.

Thus was created Applied Living, the retelling of the saga of Shaun and Dave in a slightly simpler, slightly less epic, slightly more comedic, somewhat more accessible, and significantly more modernized manner.

It was awesome, and continues to be to this day. As do Shaun and Dave.

And Beowulf.

* * * * *

And that's pretty much it.

Thanks for reading, thanks for sticking with us, and here's to another fifty pages of our silliness and mock-conceitedness.

–Shaun