COCA

The Mollestache

Author notes

The Mollestache

dr_dolittle
on

Am I the ONLY child that was ever afraid of the Pringles Man? I don't even know if he has a name, but I do know that he makes me pee myself in fright. That mollestery moustache, the barbershop-quartet-like tie and hairdo… It's all so wrong.

It's a study that's actually been done. Small children tend to be more afraid of men with facial hair than without. That might explain why being in the same room with my Uncle Chris (no matter how many people are in there) sort of makes me feel like he's gonna' run over to me, put me in a bag, then give me to the Gates Bar-B-Que man who will walk around with me in his stupid little carryout bag whilst wearing his tophat and spats. Yes. I'm also afraid of the Gates Bar-B-Que man. (Maybe that's only a celebrity in KC)

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