Certified Monster

Author notes

Loser Hero #1

El Cid

on Dec. 15, 2009

Yup, it's been confirmed. Radioactive waste does not give you super powers. It gives you cancer. But then, so does pretty much everything else…

This was supposed to be part 1 of a three-part series featuring our hapless protagonist. In the second install, after finding out he has terminal supercancer, he goes to a whore to lose his virginity before dying, with disastrous results, and then in the third he finds out he's not going to die after all, and then runs singing into the street… where he's promptly run over by a car.

But halfway into Part Two I realized that the series wasn't all that funny, so I dumped it. Still though, I'll go ahead and finish Part Two, cuz it has boobs in it and I'm sure folks will appreciate that despite the agonizing lack of funny.