Ready for it? Drom roll please. Trel originally appeared on THIS page of Charby the Vampirate!
Edit: Story added.
Eva Epilog Written by: E.E. Nick
"Hello. I'm looking for the 'Queen of hats'." Frey said.
"Well you found her. Congratulations. Do you want a hat for you efforts?" Eva said dripping with sarcasm.
"No, ah not as such." Frey said diplomatically. "Perhaps I'd best introduce myself. I'm Frey Von Skyler. I'm an adventurer."
"Yes I'm sure you are Mr. Von Skyler, but I have no need in my business for an adventurer I'm afraid." Eva replied.
"Well actually I'm afraid you have it backwards Ms. Valentine. You are my business." Frey said and then sense this might have been a tactless phrasing of his words quickly added. "That is to say I've been employed to find you and I must say that it wasn't the easiest of tasks."
"Who sent you? Was it the senate?" Eva said hopefully. "Did Skyriel send for me?"
"No." Frey replied a little glumly. "I'm afraid my uncle is not involved in the Senate of Mages nor with this particular endeavor of mine. I was asked to find you by a small group representing Druclcenia, a planet which you apparently helped create."
"What? Why?" Eva said.
"Well my job is to find out why you left, but really I think they want you to come back." Frey said.
"You'll have the devil's own time taking me." Eva shouted. "Do you think you can take me, I built a whole world!"
Frey seemed very hurt by her reaction. "I am not a kidnapper." Frey said adamantly. "I'm not going to force you to go anywhere, please calm down."
"I…I'm…." Eva stuttered.
"Ms. Valentine, I don't wish to be rude but you really can't fight me. I can see from here your magics all tapped out. You are barely keeping on your feet. I'm not going to hurt you I'd just like to talk to you if you would be so kind as to spare me the time." Frey said hold up his hands to show his capitulation.
Eva stumbled away from Frey a bit and collapsed into a chair. She briefly contemplated the ceiling while rubbing her forehead.
"Very well, you want to know why I left do you?" Eva replied.
"Yes, if you please." Frey said politely.
"Well I don't please but I'll tell you anyway. Not long ago I finished my master piece, a whole planet in fact. I had to trade in every favor, use every magic wish, tap out all my magics but I did it!" Eva said.
"Congratulations." Frey replied.
"Thank you." Eva said. "Aaaanyway long story short the people on that world are all obsessed with hats by my design."
"Why hats?" Frey asked.
"Well I had to give them something to do. Creatures without purpose start thing strange thoughts. Before you know it one of them decides they are meant to destroy the world and I didn't want that happening to my master piece so If figured. Hats, that is kind of funny and no one was ever hurt by hats. I'll have them make hats. And it worked, They loved hats. They made them night and day hat for social ranks, hats of style, hats for transporation, hats you could eat. I mean they did other things to but it always came back to hats sooner or later. It kept them on task on kept them happy." Eva replied.
"I see. I guess that makes sense." Frey said.
"So after I and the sentate parted ways I decided to retire to Druclcenia. I mean I gave them life I thought they would be greatful." Eva said.
"Well I'm sure they are but as my mother always used to tell me children can be such a disappointment sometimes." Frey said.
"They're not my children! That makes me sound old." Eva said.
"Ah…." Said Frey feeling suddenly awkward.
"Lets call them minions." Eva said.
"Sure." Said Frey helpfully. "So what happened, why did you leave?"
"Well anyway my minions were grateful. When I first arrived, they gave me hats, thanked me for life and the whole nine yards. But then problems started. I thought I had thought that I got all the problem out in the beta testing but…." Eva said trailing off a bit.
"How does one beta test a whole world?" Frey asked.
"Its one of those monkeys with typewriters things." Eve explained.
"I don't follow." Frey said.
"Well I rounded up a bunch of people I didn't like mostly people who had minorly wronged me when I was going through my awkward teenage years at the academy. Except for Locke Wiesdark, curse his mismatched eyes! When they started to live out their natural lives I knew it was ready. Anyway I accelerated time in my construct to allow it to develop into a complex world system faster. At the time it seemed like a good idea seeing as I'm not immortal….yet, but I mean I'm 26 I can't wait forever." Eva stopped to glare at Frey. "Yes half-elf I am aware of how you old you horribly lucky fey man-child."
"Sorry." Frey said reflexively.
"Well it turned out while I had planned for the short term and the long term I had failed to consider the scope of the world. Eventually the massive amount of hats began to destroy the environment. Hats filled the cities, the forest, the trees. The hats were even on the verge of developing sentience and build their own society. So eventually everyone figured, hey she created the world, ask her to fix it."
"So what did you do?" Frey asked.
"Well naturally I took care of the problem. I saved the world, rounded up the hats and cast them into an empty dimension, but then it happened again and again. Every few generations they would forget the lessons of the past and I'd have to save them again. I tried breaking them of their hat obsession but it didn't take. Having designed the whole world around hats it proved to be more difficult to change then I thought. So I came to realize I wasn't a planetary savior, I was a garbage man. I made a whole world and I end up changing its litter box and worse they constant demands were tapping out my magic. So I ran away." Eva complained.
"Hmmm. Well I appreciate your honest and if it helps I think I understand." Frey said. "But I think that the Druclcenians are going to find this rather disappointing. I don't think they'll take this news well."
"Well its not my problem anymore. Plus I'm not going to be around forever (at least not if keep wasting all my magic on hat disposal) so sooner or later they're going to have to deal without me anyway."
"I suppose." Frey conceded. "But I would like to go back with a more constructive message. Something to inspire rather then depress them."
"Hmmmm." Eva said. "How about ENOUGH WITH THE HATS ALREADY!"
"Well maybe they should just take it in steps like start making other things like goggles or helmets." Frey said.
"Okay, Okay." Eva said. "I got it. Tell them I died fighting the hats and went to hat heaven."
"I…um…don't think so." Frey said. "Maybe I'll just tell them about recycling."
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