Author notes

Patrick the Perpendicular Poltroon

Hurricane Ivan

on Aug. 9, 2011

Patrick had always had a quality that set him apart from other pirates, that subtly coloured all his relationships, and gave him a leg up on other pirates: Gravity affected him awry. For reasons that have never been adequately explained, Patrick was pulled to the left instead of down, perpendicular to his peers. After a short but lucrative career in raiding other ships in unexpected ways, patrick returned to land, to put his "skills" to use in robbing tall buildings. This transition was not flawless, however, and He almost broke a leg several times falling down a highway.