Elijah and Azuu

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#1179 Dagiel and the Fish: Spring Break Summer Beach Party Action Go Pack

Inkmonkey

on Jan. 21, 2007

That's right; it's a beach storyline in January.

You know what I love about chain letters? It's like an IQ test. If someone tells you that sending out a bunch of emails will make the girl/guy you like call you later that night, then we know not to expect you to work your way up to night manager of whatever fast food restaurant would be funniest to reference here any time soon.

My favorite chain letters are the ones that not only promises riches for sharing, but some sort of bizarre punishment for not contributing. A popular method lately is to describe some sort of creepy person (usually something to do with no eyes or glowing red eyes) watching you as you sleep, which apparently some people believe.

Even if this eyeless bastard is real, I'd say I'm pretty safe. I mean, if he has to sit and watch you sleep then logically he can only do one person a night, and odds are I'm far from the earliest person to receive this chain letter/threat, so I'm willing to bet I'm pretty far down the queue on this guy's visitation list. More importantly, though, I'd imagine the poor eyeless sod is going to spend at least one night listening to somebody with a nasal congestion snoar for 8 - 10 hours and realize that some jerkoff writing pointless letters to people isn't really a good enough reason to totally kill his nightlife for the rest of his life.

So, please, if you get a chain letter, sending it to ten people isn't going to get you that call from whoever you have a crush on. If that's your goal, just write one letter; one to the person you're hoping to get the call from. Stupid internet karma isn't going to get you jackshit; basic communication skills just might.

And if you're planning to write a chain letter, do us all a favor and find something more useful to do with your time. Like take up knitting. Everyone loves homemade scarves, but no one takes the time to sit down and make them anymore. You could get your Christmas shopping a whole lot sooner if you spent some time sitting down and making something yourself that your friends and family will be proud to wear!

Now, send a link to this rant to 10 of your friends and, well, then I'll have 10 more people visiting the comic. Hey, someone oughtta benefit from this, right?