Author notes

015. Why I was late

usedbooks

on Jan. 21, 2009

Well, I was thinking about all these great strip ideas and I made time in my schedule to create them, after reducing the updates for my other comic to twice a week (but in color now, so it's okay) and applying to a dozen jobs and lining up an interview (although I'm not sure you can call it "lining up," because Geometry teaches us that it takes two points to define a line). Anyway, all my brilliant planning and thoughts still left me time to write a 5000 word short story (not sure why I did it though), volunteer at the museum, and thank my sister for the cute gifts she sent me from Japan.

After all this, I sat down to draw, still plenty of time to get in my "weekly update." Then I heard the train whistle. It beckoned me to take an adventure, a short ride was all it would be. In fact, it was the fastest train on earth, so the tour would be over before it started. I hopped onto the caboose, and as the train started up, I knew it was strange. You see, this train traveled just 5 mph below the speed of light (as we all know, going the speed of light is impossible). So the universe warped around me, all the light condensed into a single strip, stretching like a ribbon around the train. And you, dear readers, yes you, were now going 5 mph below the speed of light relative to me and the train. (Although, relative to me, the train was not moving at all.) All this excited me, and I wanted to talk to the conductor, so I took off in a run toward the engine. Of course, when I started my run, though I don't run fast, I easily exceeded the 5 mph logic limit, so at that time, relative to you, I passed the speed of light and ceased to exist! During this same time, relative to me, YOU ceased to exist, and my comic also ceased to be, so for a brief instant (though no time at all, since time also ceased to be – at least for you, relative to me) I had no comic and no obligation to update. But then the train slowed and stopped, arriving at my home once again. I stepped out and saw by the worms on the pavement that while I was away, it had rained. As I approached my front door, however, I tripped, fell into a wormhole, and landed in the future where my update was late and I was forced to write you this explanation.

And I swear that everything I've written (in the first paragraph) is 100% true. Unless the train comes by my house again, I will update again (relatively) soon.