I hope I made Zeep look scared in the first two panels. It's my first true emotion attempt. I actually finished this on Saturday! I was afraid that my boyfriend would give me a bunch of things to do so I did a quick rewrite on the second and third panels.
I think it improved the flow dramatically. First write had it lagging a bit. Any writer worth her salt knows she doesn't want the action in a chase scene to drag. She wants it to flow smoothly and with fast pacing. A couple very brief slow down moments during a battle to give the reader a break is always a bonus and keeps things from getting bored. This is why the hero will reload, have a short "oh no moment" before thrusting himself back into battle. That short little break heightens the moment, gets you to breath before zipping off again.
Some writers, like myself, might describe a naturally noticed item in an snappy way like a light glinting off the enemy's sword or the shape of something on said enemy distracting the hero before resuming, faster than before. It's all the roller coaster of a good story. That's why I decided to stick to a basic script. So I can plan those little moments in advance ands tighten the story quite nicely instead of rambling on and on like I did for Insanity of Xade
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