House of Sushi

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#12: Ebi's priorities

Vagabond

on May 31, 2007

You know who I really hate? It's those greedy little bastards. It's those schmucks who secretly rule the world. It's those big-nosed, beady-eyed freaks that make me sick.



I am of course talking about the Eskimos.

I mean, seriously; these guys hoard words. Like, having over 20 different words for snow? Geez, save some for the rest of us! And that "actually we want to be called Inuit instead of Eskimo" business? Way to bogart nationalities, guys.

And don't try and tell me that they don't rule the world. The way I see it, they live in really snowy regions. Right now, we're dealing with global warming. Global warming melts snow and glaciers, which in turn, causes us all to have "Waterworld"esque adventures. (except without the phenomenally high budget and overabundance of Kevin Costner) So of course, if we want to avoid cinematic failure on a planetary scale, we of course need to give into their demands? Stop driving our God-given gas-guzzling SUVs? Sure, why not! Impose harsher restrictions on our manifest destined capitalistic companies to reduce emissions? Of course we'll do that, we HATE American freedom!


And igloos? Don't even start me on igloos. Comrade.