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Give us thy caffiene

lba

on March 29, 2008

This one comes from a little piece called "the college students prayer", that I wrote in all silliness for an assignment. The full text is something like this.

"Oh, Great Caffeinated One. Bring us thy carbonated children of goodness, that we might have yet another sleepless night as we prepare for these our most dire tests to come. Grant us bubbly joy that is your loving support and allow us to stay awake as we give blankets to those who collapse against us. Bring us unto morning, bleary-eyed and listless and deliver us unto our beds upon the completion, so that we may bask in the glory of sleep until 3 pm tomorrow."

I think I may just start my own religion. I figure, if the pastafarians can do it and worship a giant wad of spaghetti, ( Not that I really have a problem with that. ) then I should be able to get my own religious group going. I know there's enough of my fellow sleep-deprived college students out there ( Not for a minute though will we exclude you if you're just sleep-deprived though. ). I'm thinking the extra perks would be cookies and maybe we could work out something with local supermarkets to give us a discount on energy drinks and mountain dew. Or perhaps we could even distribute espresso to the less fortunate who have only decaf left in their cupboards. Yes, I have big plans for this. But we must be able to compete with the other food-based religions. And that is why with your contributions, I will build a 200 foot tall espresso machine with fully functional heating elements and milk steamer. It will be used to boil the heretics in %2 dairy. At least until they fight back with the Buttered Noodles of Doom.