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I have no soul

lba

on June 10, 2008

I've decided to boycott Walmart today. But not for the usual reasons.

I say this because after a long weekend of being too cheap to eat out, I finally looked in my fridge around 11:30 at night, and realized that it's contents consisted ( At least those which I could identify. ) of essentially one single slice of American cheese and a half a jar of peanut butter that I think was left for me by the previous owner of the fridge. So I decided rather than spend money and eat out, I would drop by Walmart ( After about 9 pm just about everything else is closed here. ) and try to find something to eat. After almost two hours I had my stuff and was about to leave, when I realized that I was utterly lost without a map or even one of the less disgruntled store employees ( Can you blame them? ) to help me. Because apparently, when they built my local Walmart they decided to find a way to transport Mongolia to the center of the Midwest and use it for the foundations of the store. I have reason to believe that when you all tune in to the Olympic games, you will likely see the athletes throwing javelins and running on blacktop. Because as far as I can tell, judging from pure size alone, it looks like they took China for the parking lot ( Which would mean that asphalt is out-working and out-smarting American laborers. ). Despite the fact that it was well past midnight by the time I finally escaped the store's gravitational field, the parking lot was still half full. I suspect that I was one of the lucky few who managed to get enough of a running start to escape, and that there are still hundreds of people trapped within the store, surviving off the candy aisle ( Ironically for them, that's probably adding to the gravity. ). So, rather than risk being stuck eating Tootsie rolls for the next sixty years and never getting to draw another comic, I plan on avoiding Walmart from now on.

I'll eat the peanut butter next time.