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A walk with baby

lba

on June 26, 2008

For those folks who have kids I doubt I really need to say this, but it has definitely come to my attention that attempting to keep an eye on a toddler is an exceptionally difficult task ( The people who have kids should be laughing at the images of my confusion and torment their minds are already conjuring. ). In fact, I believe it may be entirely impossible without putting the child on a steal dog cable bolted directly to your skeletal system. I'm not even sure that I've still got the right kid.

I saw this because recently I took my nephew to the doctors for my sister while she was away at work. Things were going quite smoothly for a good while. I got him in the car and even managed to get his seatbelt and everything buckled properly ( Those of you who think this task is easy have no clue. The modern children's car seat has more safety restraints and gadgets than an f-16 fighter jet. ). We even got so far as the front door of the doctors office without so much as a scream. It was at that point however that the screaming began. However, it was not my nephew. He was too busy looking at me writhing in pain on the floor from the high pitched emissions and giggling. Because I had entered the office totally unprepared for what was inside. It appears that every other adult with a child in the state of Iowa decided to take their infant to the doctors on that particular day. Perhaps it was the nice pediatricians last day on the job, or they were giving out the numbers of good auto mechanics ( Both of which seem to be highly rare things. ). To have even begun to deal with the din I entered it would have required the sort of hearing protection you see being used around the space shuttle. As soon as I managed to stop bleeding from the ears, I set my nephew down to play with some of the other children. At that point, he did exactly what the rest of us would have done when surrounded by screaming children. Namely, he started crawling as fast as possible towards the nearest doorway. Before I knew it he was out of sight and I was chasing after him like a ship wreck victim after a twinkie. I'm not entirely sure the lady who I sprinted past in the records room will ever recover from the shock of seeing a half-deranged man wielding a baby seat come howling through the room. After a couple of minutes, I finally found him and we were eventually called to talk to the doctor for about five minutes( During none of which did she ever actually look at my nephew. ) after they were sure I was completely deaf and the rest of our trip went by more or less without incident.

Next time, I'll be leaving him outside by the bike rack since he doesn't actually need to come in.