It's been my observation over time that women have an amazing a peculiar ability. Take any good-looking single woman ( If you can find one. ) and simply place her in a room full of men. Nine times out of ten it seems from careful study ( Watching people in a bar instead of listening to the band I was supposed to be there for. ) she will find the one who is making the biggest possible ass of himself and strike up a conversation with him. Usually the men in question may be severely inebriated or plain genetically stupid. Whatever the reason, women will find them and decide that they are more interesting and worth paying attention to than the smartest and most educated guy in the bar ( Though I can't always blame them as he's often getting close to his 90's and is only there to escape his wife who realized long ago she should have taken the smart guy home instead of her husband. The second smartest is usually in his late 70's and still trying for that first date. ). For those guys wondering why women do this and ask of themselves, "why do they ignore me?" it's simple: They know you're watching and dreaming and they're enjoying tormenting you with your inability to actually say anything to them. Because, they and you know that if you actually tried to talk to them, the drunk frat boy on the bar singing Yellow Submarine off key and incomprehensibly would pale in comparison when you get up and come out with your smoothest one-liner ( "Hi, I'm Whooooagh!! *slipping on drunk frat boy's spilled beer* ) . You might actually run the risk of being the biggest idiot in the bar and winding up with a date. And given how badly you screwed up the introduction, you might get luckier still and your embarrassment helps you make it to second base and a kiss. You lucky dog you!
About time, The guys at the retirement home were starting to call you the "80 year old virgin", I'll bet.
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