As of today, Last Words will no longer be offering you the regular programming you have enjoyed for the last 211 strips. As of current we are undergoing a shift to new management who has decided that they would like to take things in a different direction. However, as we deeply appreciate your patronage we will attempt to make the transition as smooth as possible. The new management has been shocked and appalled at the recent lack of poop jokes, beer and boobies. We here at the new Last Words have decided that Alex has not been making his proper quota of jokes about Jessica Alba and whipped cream being locked in our closets. As a result, Last Words will be making the move to include more porn, extra vulgarity, lots and lots of guns and violence and maybe even that Top Gun guy if he's not doing anything right now. We also expect to be putting more dirty pictures into this thing. We hope that as we work away from the stupid gum thingies and towards entertainment more suitable of us making money off of Alex, that you will enjoy it and stay with us while we start making money off of people looking for cartoon porn on google. In fact, just to up the chances, I'm probably going to put the word porn into the site somewhere as a permanent feature.
If you still want family entertainment and stuff that makes you think or whatever, you should probably just go read Family Circus. Or deal with it. I sure as hell don't care. I'm going to be making money from that idiot whether or not you like it. Sex sells.
Sincerely, Mike Ward
( From Alex: When Mike asked if he could write a post for me, I think he took my answer of yes to mean that he could write them all for me and that he would become my editor or something. For that matter, I don't know where he got the idea that I make money doing this. )
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