Yes! Now you too can live the exciting and fulfilling life of a violent, psychopathic killer from the comforts of your very own home, with new and improved Facey book! New and improved Facey book includes more innocent preteens that ever before, along with increased anonymity and a brand new search function that allows you to find the victims already on your list and those living closest to you! You can even use Facey book's original, never-thought-of-before "status bar" feature to plan which victim to terrorize first. Never again will you have to waste precious gas or time idling in front of their house while they're at the grocery mart! You'll simply be able to meet them in deli aisle!
But never fear, Facey book won't take all the challenge and fun out of it. With our new patented security and identity protection features, we've kept the same old thrill of trying to get close to your quarry as you must get them to agree to "befriend" you before you can get at the really juicy details. And as an added bonus to up the ante and make it even more of a challenge than before, we've added a custom built maze of dead end advertisements and fun games for you to work your way through!
Now, I'm sure some might be saying, "but killing and stalking people is wrong", or, "I'm just too shy to perpetually follow someone in a creepy manner." Well, fear not! Facey book has something for you folks too. For those who prefer to condemn others for their love of sport, we've added several hundred thousand social groups, ranging from the local to the global making Facey book the perfect place online to obsess and complain about other's fun. And for the terminally shy, we offer the chance to meet new and interesting people who may want to kill you! What better way could there be to come out of that shell and become more confident, than successfully evading a kitchen knife-wielding pursuer and making it safely to the police station?! You'll be ready to take on the great big world in no time. And as an added benefit, you'll find yourself in the best shape of your young hipster life! In addition, Facey book also offers over 100 additional services to those listed here, including personally targeted advertising spaces and an entire line of designer desktop wallpapers!
Could there be anything possibly better than Faceybook? I think not! Visit your local internet provider or computer sales associate today to find out about all the great services and uses Facey book has to offer!
And as a special introductory offer, we're giving you the chance of a lifetime to vote in the second annual DrunkDuck Awards when they open, starting this August the 1st, and being moderated by your very own webcomic creator Alex! Just click this convenient link we've provided here and vote for all your favorite comics: This offer will only last for as long as the link is posted in newsposts, so act soon! Just remember: you can nominate anyone but yourself!
Comments
Please login to comment.
Login or Register${ comment.author }} at
${ comment.author }} at