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Kitty go thump!

lba

on Aug. 3, 2008

I can remember being a young kid and undertaking some of the most potentially destructive experiments since the Atomic bomb was first produced. Some of my most important studies included determining whether or not alcohol was flammable, ( It turns out that pouring rubbing alcohol all over a pile of fireworks and then lighting it will result in an exceptionally large display of launching cardboard tubes. ) testing the theory that if one were to tie a piece of fish to a bicycle and ride past the local crazy cat ladies home, large numbers of felines would come chasing you and there might be a couple cougars in the pack ( This one requires further testing as a bicycle is not fast enough it turns out. ) and lastly, whether or not a 10 year-old human child's bone structure can withstand the extreme G-Forces involved in being thrown off of a large play structure. While I was not personally involved in the experiment, as a result of my co-researchers and my work, it seems that playgrounds nation-wide have been covered in some black bouncy substance. Research has been pending from my successors as to how we may be able to contain overly-testosterone enhanced children in the future with this unfortunate setback caused by enemies of the continued expansion of this important field ( Stem cell research has anti-abortionists, and playground bully research has the Parent Teacher Association. ). I'm hoping that some of my experiments and their finding might interest the Pentagon as I think they may be interested in some of the more potentially lethal ( Yet totally eco-friendly. ) research which I have compiled. Because if not, I have a strong feeling that they are missing out on a very important source of combat power. Even if I had not done the research which I have as a child. As an adult, I can definitely prove that 6 year-olds are incredible weapons of mass destruction. If you want to know what I mean, just go back to Detroit in 1995, and give me a hatchet.