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Work harder! damn you!

lba

on Aug. 7, 2008

I have big news for you all today. I have officially decided that I'm going to launch a new scientifically-designed, exceptionally effective* exercise plan guaranteed to reduce your stress level and work all the major muscle regions of your body! And all you have to do is follow a few easy steps:

Step 1: Practice basic stretches such as yawning and raising one's arm above their head before beginning. Place buttocks firmly on a chair, couch or other low surface. Placing feet firmly in a comfortable stance, begin to raise your arms and rotate them until they are comfortably tucked with your hands behind your neck while allowing your body to slide down. As you do this, it Hold this position for several minutes until you can feel the muscles in your body begin to loosen and relax. This will exercise your biceps and triceps while simultaneously keeping your trapezius and other upper back muscles toned and defined. Once you have held this position for several minutes you can then move on to step 2.

Step 2: While keeping buttocks firmly placed on your surface of choice, bend forward, reach out and gently grasp the bag of potato chips you should have placed on a surface in front of you as per the preparation instructions in my new exercise book ( Coming soon, to be sold at the low low price of $16.99! ). Raise your body back to it's previous position and firmly grasp the bag in both hands. This maneuver is specifically designed to target your abdominals, and lower back muscles while keeping stress low on your knees. Once you have done this, move on to step 3.

Step 3: While firmly grasping the potato chip bag in both hands, begin to firmly pull apart at the top of the bag. This movement will work your pectorals and core chest muscles.

Step 4: While holding the bag in one hand reach forward again and pick up a TV remote with the other. This step is specifically designed to mix the forces of weight training, calisthenics, resistance training and timed exercise to provide the maximum burn for your time. As you pull back, place your thumb firmly on the power button and press down to work your forearm muscles and upper shoulders. Once done, you are ready to move on to step 5.

Step 5: Resume original exercise position and maintain for as long as desired, while moving chips from your bag to mouth, and at occasional intervals repeat the thumb pressing action of step 4 with different buttons.

Congratulations, you've just done one of the many highly effective and power-producing exercises included in my new book ( Coming soon to a store near to you! ). And for maximum effect, ( For a small additional charge. ) I'll even include my newest diet plan book to help you maximize the effect of your caloric intake by helping you choose the most appropriate food for your midnight snack, and by laying out an effective meal plan for you to get the most out of your favorite sweets and other foods like burgers, steak, pizza, pasta and brownies and still see results!**


* Effectiveness of exercise plan depends on length of time spent exercising and frequency of exercise. For maximum effectiveness, combine Alex's patented exercise plan with Alex's guaranteed effect diet plan.

**Results may vary, and may in fact not even be desired results. Results of prior clients do not represent average results. Some dieters found an excessive increase in Body Mass Index. It was probably their own damn fault.