MAG ISA

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Chapter16_Page26

kyupol

on Oct. 2, 2011

Rant of the Day
You know what… I'm sorry for not telling you guys about this unfortunate unexpected hiatus on this comic. 

You see, here's the deal…  not too long ago, things started unravelling and many things happened to me that seemed like an assault on all sides.  My eyes were blown wide open as I have ventured down deeper into the "rabbit hole".  And in that rabbit hole, certain truths have been revealed to me that I'd rather not talk about at this point. 

Truths in where the temptation is strong to fall into the darkness.  When you look at it in a certain way it would be very easy to justify psychopathic manipulative behavior.  I'd leave it at that. 

I wish I should have just been ignorant or limited myself in going down that rabbit hole.  
 
It has affected my mental state to say the least. 

At this point, I dont know anymore…  its as if I have this dissociation…  this numbness…  of emotion.  When your emotions are numb, it would be very difficult for you to experience sadness, pain from rejection, intimidation, fear, shock, etc.  Any form of emotional tension seems to be gone.  You could get in my face and scream at me and I swear I wont feel anything.  I'll just sit there and react calmly. 

Sounds like a good thing but…
This numbness of emotions has also made it excruciatingly difficult for me to even pick up a pencil and draw.  Because as the other artists here know…  that emotion plays a factor when you do something of the artistic nature. 

This emotional numbness has also allowed me to rely more on logical reason rather than emotion. 

And logically…  on some level… I am getting the thought that this comic is a waste of time.  Time which I could be spending on business and trying to make profit so that I could turn my life around. 

Because I've had it. 

All these 28 years of existing on this earth…  its as if nothing seemed to go right for me. 

Ever since childhood I got the short end of the stick handed to me. 

And I hate it.  And I used to sit in a corner and cry as I grit my teeth and bang my fists on the floor or a wall… and then later on turn it into a comic or something.  But that was back when my emotions werent numbed yet. 

Now my emotions are numb.  And I am focused.  I intend to turn my life around.  Because I can calmly and coldly say that I have had enough.  And I refuse to accept what was given to me in this life.  And it will all be better and I will get a life in where I get all the advantages.  Mark my words.  These arent just empty words. 

And oh…  what about the fate of this comic?

I dont know yet.  Maybe I will change my mind if I get convinced that this comic means something to you. 

In the meantime though… hope you like this page I drew a month ago or so…

Thats it with my incoherent rambling about myself…  Time to get back to work. 
_______________

Niccea - wow.  I'm happy for that award.  Thanks to all who voted for me!!!

maycroft, SarahN, ghostrunner, jerrie, Asbin  - thanks for commenting.

Quicksilver, SoniaCBU - lol… yeah… Im a Physics flunkie!!!  HAHAHA!!!

Scythe Massakur - maybe later… when regular updates on this comic will resume…

Walrus - glad you like it. 

Sariling Mundo - you know what… I shoulda said that instead!!!