MISFIT ASSASSINS

Author notes

page 140

Kristen Gudsnuk

on Feb. 19, 2007

wow, I completely missed Sunday's update… -_- sorry guys.. but this is Sunday's page, really it is!!! I was just… so busy this weekend!! I went to Katsucon, which was pretty cool. My first anime convention. It was weird, though, and I went there hoping to find a lot of people like me, you know, and feel that whole "I have a community/there is a place where I belong" sorta thing. But alas, no. I'm like a soggy jigsaw puzzle piece. I felt kinda awkward, and seeing all those people laughing and talking loudly gave me a buzzing headache. I went with a friend of mine, Kathleen, so it was fun hanging out with her, though. idk.
Another reason why this is late is because I had a lot of trouble motivating myself to do this page. I'm not a very motivated person, to be honest. I have a very external locus of control. Plus, I'm a quitter (aagh! I wish I weren't!) When something knocks me down, well, it's not like I stay on the ground forever, I just change direction. And I tried doing this at 300 dpi but it was too hard and it didn't look nice, so I just gave up, basically. Then today I was like, "aaahh!! I'm so behind!!!" so I forced myself to do it. And I'll post wednesday's page on time, no probs there.
I drew this really awesome picture this weekend, though… It was of Eve and King, and it was full-body for the two of them. Eve was sitting on a stone wall, holding an umbrella for the two of them, and King was sitting in the grass with his legs curled in front of him. It was really cute, and I was going to post it here. But I was bringing my mom and a bunch of high schoolers (my mom's a teacher, and she was doing a field trip to Mexico.. lucky kids; I never had any cool field trips in high school!!) to Dulles Airport, and I left a bunch of sketches (my best ones… -_-… because I brought them to the convention for a "portfolio review" by Viz) on the Rosslyn/Dulles bus. That was the only picture I didn't scan among my sketches, so it's not that big of a deal, but it still kind of sucks. It took me a few hours just to do the linework. -_- It's funny, though, I wasn't that upset about it. I'm kind of detached when bad things happen; I'm like "dammit. …oooh, look, pretty clouds!" And so I was just like, "oh well." and I told Kathleen about it and she got all upset and was like, "your whole portfolio?!? that picture??!?!!?!" it was funny that she cared more than I did. But seeing her all incensed kind of inspired me and so I'll probably call up the bus people and ask them if they found any anime drawings.. on the 4:30 bus 5A. I don't know why my emotions change so quickly. It's weird. Maybe it's one of those "coping methods"? Because one time I was in the car talking to my mom, and the fact that we never got a piano came up… and my mom was like, "too bad about that, right?" and she was like, "and just think, your cousins have that wonderful piano, and no one in their house plays." and for some reason I cried, even though I had never made a big deal about having a piano. I love playing the piano and I took lessons for a little while. I quit because I couldn't really practice… I had a little keyboard, but it was completely different than a real piano, and I didn't have any way of holding up my sheet music… plus the keys themselves were smaller than those on an actual piano. Now in college I can use the music labs and practice, which I do pretty often (although I have to be careful because if I lose track of time, I'll play for like six hours straight.) I guess it's only when I really think about things that I get upset. Someday I'll probably think about my lost drawing, and my lost Drawing I sketchbook, and be sad. But for now, whatever.

Oh no!! I got into journal mode!! sorry for the long-winded confessionalism! ^^ I probably seem like a basket-case now~! but I'm not! *is normal*
Well anyway, here's the page. Please
Vote
For
Me
On
Buzzcomix!!!
thanks pals~