Macs Life

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#016: The Accident

MacLPirata

on Sept. 14, 2008

In case you haven’t heard, I was in an auto wreck of sorts tonight. I was cut off by an SUV on the George Bush Turnpike and forced off the road. True, I could have just slammed into this example of American Excess, but I may or may not have seen a car seat through the back window. Disregarding the fact that I am a father, there is NO EFFIN’ WAY I’m going to hit a car with babies in it if I can at all avoid it.

I knew I was clear to the right, so I jerked the wheel over and played with my brakes. Reverse acceleration, the beautiful thing that it is, wasn’t happening at the rate necessary to keep me on the road. As soon as I hit the grass on the side of the highway I lost all traction and just slid into the big green “EXIT HERE” sign.

Glass shattered and shot at me and I turned my head at the last possible moment to avoid getting an eyeful. This did not save my ear, however, as it was grazed by at least one chunk. Luckily, I have not shaved in about a week, so Grizzly Adams look protected my beautiful mug. I was pulling pieces of glass out of my hair for about an hour after that.

Sweet Sharona, I’m glad we no longer use pane glass in windshields. This could have been a much messier ordeal.

I have no idea how that sign is still standing. Not with the way I hit it. The damage to the beautiful HHR was nominal. Dented license plate, bumper, and roof. Huge 10″ gash on the hood that goes almost all the way through. The windshield is obliterated. It was still completely driveable. Again, based on the way I hit this sign, I thought for sure there was going to be a crumpled mess of steel and fiberglass. It looks great! I’ll try to get some pictures up here. For now, you get this comic showing how it all went down.

Go buy a Chevy HHR.