Author notes

MT Issue 29: page 16

Author_Ninja

on July 26, 2009

NOW maybe people will understand why he's so passionate about this. Of course, he started off with a good point, and then started rambling about the Swiss. I honestly have no idea where THAT came from. I lost my notes and when I found them again I remembered the main point I was trying to make, but by then the Swiss thing was so elaborate that I had to keep it.

Sometimes, the characters really write themselves. It's like driving a bus full of monkeys but the monkeys will occasionally grab the wheel from you and steer you in a direction you weren't expecting.



Disclaimer:
Now, before anyone gets bent out of shape. Sid isn't homophobic. But think about Swiss army knives for a moment.

A knife, generally, is a tool for stabbing things. A weapon, as it were, which might be used for instance to protect yourself from your enemies. Now…the Swiss don't have a standing army (Which is probably strike one in Sid's book) but they have a knife. But they have this knife…A little handheld one, the biggest blade a few inches long. With a toothpick. And a corkscrew and screwdriver and tweezers just in case you need to get rid of that pesky unibrow when you're out in the woods. I mean, have you ever known anyone who's killed anything with a swiss army knife? Serious! Just imagine some guy in the wood suddenly getting attacked by a bear! By the time you've found the blade inbetween the scissors and pliers, you jab a knife two inches into the damn bears hide right before getting eaten! You couldn't kill a crazed squirrel with that thing!

Let's face it, the Swiss Army Knife is the Richard Simmons of the weapon world.

He also doesn't hate the Swiss Per Say. He just finds all those windmills unsettling. Like living in a hundred mile long miniature golf course. *shiver*