Myths

Author notes

Bad Dog page 2

ConnorLachmanec

on May 19, 2020

“Speaking of the royal wedding, we now return to our scheduled coverage of those happy festivities.” The grisly visions of violence fade away, replaced by a finely dressed gorgon smiling and waving to an adoring crowd. A plump dark-skinned naiad hangs on his arm. “More guests have arrived this morning, including King Chrysaor of Iberia and his lovely queen Callirhoe, the empire’s only reigning myth monarchs.”

Two large rotten vegetables splatter into the mirror, obscuring the image as fetid juices paint the smooth metallic surface. From behind the remains of a smashed pumpkin, the nymph interjects, drawing attention to Callirhoe’s outfit: “Ever the fashion icon, she’s at risk of overshadowing the bride in a sheer gown by Narcissus which, dare I say, I want.” Brutus laughs roguishly, his image speckled with nameless red juice as he puts a meaty hand on the nymph's shoulder. “I’d like to see you try it on.” The nymph laughs professionally from behind an oozing curtain of orange pulp. “Oh Brutus! What would your wife say?”