Author notes

Ask Niccea - 12

Niccea

on Nov. 21, 2012

And here is a small list of questions I really wanted to draw, but it would be too impossible:


Zeph: Why did you light that bus of nuns on fire, and send
it veering at Ozone, who matrix dodged out of the way, throwing PP into the
way, who dove over the bus, without being grazed, only to fall into a puddle,
as the nun bus now on fire hit a small building full of fireworks meant for the
4th of July?


Answer: First off they weren't nuns. They were demons disguised as
nuns. Demons that require human sacrifice. They were on their way to devour an
orphanage. The only way to defeat these nuns is with fire. Now Ozone, was just
a victim of circumstance. He made fun of my ears last week. So I was still a
little pissed and sent the bus in his direction. Ozone of course learned Matrix
Fu from Keanu Reeves. So he was easily able to get out of the way of the bus.
In fact, the bus wouldn't hit him unless it was going 50 mph faster. He threw
PP into the way of the bus because PP had laughed at his Cossack costume. PP,
of course, used his super mod powers to dodge the bus. However, he
miscalculated the landing and got wet. The fireworks? That was just a
coincidence. But it looked pretty.

And that is how I saved American Independence Day from the evil forces of demon
nuns, Iceland, and Australia.

Salsa: PP, Ochi, and a plate of your favorite cookies that
are so tasty that they count as a narcotic for you are all hanging above a lava
pit and will drop into it in thirty seconds. You are tied to a six foot thick
steel mast with cords made out of high tensile carbon nano-tubes. At your
disposal are a swiss army knife with no blades, a key-chain flashlight, and a
duck-billed platypus. Around you are a variety of goons, thugs, and mooks armed
to the teeth and all of them are alert enough to notice that you started
salivating when I mentioned the cookies. All of them have their weapons trained
on you and the slowest of them has a reaction time of 0.03 seconds. How do
escape and who do you save?


Answer: That is easy. I slap a hat on the platypus's head making him
a secret animal agent. He distracts my horde of captors while I inexplicably
wiggle out of my bindings. Now to save someone. Though those cookies are good,
I'm, regrettably, on a diet, so the cookies will have to die. PP is my rival
mod. He should use his mod powers to save his own damn self. I'll leave him
with the swiss army knife and the key chain flashlight. I rescue Ochi and
escape into the night.


TFGM: Are you planning on taking out all the other
Moderators and Admins so you can become the super admin god of drunkduck?


Answer: …Not really…but thanks for the idea.


1337: what's a bag of chips divided by five?

Answer: Disapointing. I'm not sharing a bag of chips with five
people.