Professor Mariachi

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One hardcore penguin

professormariachi

on Nov. 18, 2009

Learned two things today. One, I should not leave comics to the last minute (bad artist! bad! bad!) and two, I really need to clear out and reformat my computer… It's sooo sloooooow.

Now, I have a thing or two to say about penguins. Ahem* I have never heard of a mc penguin burger, this is true. Althoguh Opus of Bloom County fame did once bemoan an establishment (which shall remain nameless) for its lack of walrus burgers, penguin patties are, I like to think, a fairly original concept. I have some theories as to why this is so.

We like to eat animals. Period. Especially things that can run very fast, or fly very high. Frankly, penguins have escaped civilization's chowfest simply because they're so far away. They're just darn inconvenient as a food source. Think about the cost-effectiveness of implementing penguin farms. You'd have to flood your land with freezing water, and constantly have ice machines on standby. And yea, I do believe you'd have to have some icebergs, and a lot of fish on hand. I don't know how well penguins breed in captivity, but I'm going to go out on a limb and guess the situation isn't optimal. Put all the power, ice and fish you'll need together, and penguin becomes a pretty expensive food to cultivate in most parts of the world. That being said, who really knows what's in fast food burgers? We could be eating penguin (or walrus) already.

I had another, more bizarre theory, this one closer to the conspiracy line of things, and it may be on a tangent and not strictly relevant but hey, on the subject of fast food:

If the government ever wanted to create a completely healthy population and wipe out those who weren't fit and eating well, they could always just put sterilization drugs into fast food. That way fast food junkies couldn't replicate themselves. Whelp, I guess I wouldn't be having any kids then.

Happy Wednesday,
Care