Public Domain Funnies

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Public Domain Funnies Page 13

Air Raid Robertson

on July 19, 2009

I suppose there were gentler ways of me displaying that Fantomah was a natural blonde.

(Cough)

I had a couple of options on the table for Fantomah's sixth page killing spree. They are as follows…

1. After tearing apart that first gangster, the remaining two villains throw themselves down on their knees and beg for forgiveness. They promise to repent their ways and leave the jungle forever. Fantomah breathes fire on them while they're in the middle of their spiel.

2. Fantomah strings up Gangster #2 with the intestines of Gangster #1. Turning to the Nazi doctor, Fantomah declares that she'll give him all the spider venom he can handle. Then, after transforming her mouth into spider mandibles, she bites into the Nazi doctor. The venom from the spider bite instantly paralyzes the doctor and he then slowly dies in horrific agony from the poisoning. The last page opens with his bloated, pus oozing corpse

3. Fantomah strangles Gangster #2 with the intestines of Gangster #1. Turning to the Nazi doctor, Fantomah declares that she'd be happy to allow the Nazi to become the zombie he wished to create. Stripping off her clothes, she reveals that her vagina is a talking abomination with fangs. Her vagina then gives the Nazi doctor an especially messy lobotomy.

I didn't like the first ending because it lacked the crude sense of poetic justice that Fletcher Hanks liked to incorporate into the original Fantomah stories. The second ending fit into that well enough, but I then started reading about the mythology surrounding vagina dentata. (Which is exactly what it sounds like)

Obviously, I went with the third ending. It won out because I think that the concept of a vagina with teeth suits Fantomah very well.

Naturally, I expect a couple of people to assume that this page means that I subconsiously fear women and/or the act of physical congress. However, I will gladly suffer the slings and arrows of armchair psychoanalysts to insure that the rest of you can giggle inappropriately at a talking pussy that eats people.

I'm just that kind of guy.