I took a day off work today - I doubt my boss will be pleased tomorrow… But god, I feel so terribly tired all the time. I feel okay today, but that's mainly due to the fact I had an extra four hours sleep. No healthy adult should need 14 hours sleep to feel "awake"… Hell, I shouldnt even need ten hours for that matter. So I'm gonna get my dad or someone to accompany me to the doctors on monday, possibly get a blood test or something. I suspect it's anaemia - my mum has it and my uncle has it and judging by my ghostly pallor and myriad of symptoms that seem to fit with it. I am so squeemy about needles though - I'm getting sweats just thinking about having one. Urgh. It's that or I feel constantly half-dead for the rest of my life…
My job is also getting me down quite desperately. We're terribly understaffed right now so I'm ending up doing a lot of jobs I wasn't originally employed to do and as a result I'm so frazzled - I don't know if I'm coming or going with everything that's piled on me right now. As a result the actual job I'm employed to do is being put to one side as I don't have time to do it - then I get shit for not doing it when I don't even get a chance to! Not to mention the other jobs I'm doing I don't actually like doing. I know this is a part of probably every job in exsistence… but I could be doing much much easier work than this for the same hourly rate.
I haven't mentioned I've actually been invited to move to another part of the country… quite far away from where I am now. This is stressing me out too. I mean, it could be a wonderful oppurtunity; I know a lot of people in that area so I would actually have a social life I've never had before. But at the same time, I'll be leaving my home, I'd have to sell off a lot of my possessions, I'd probably have to leave my cat, I'd have to leave my job… Then I'd have to get a new job, get used to a new house with new people, a new area, buy in new stuff… I'm so stressed. I know that it's something I shouldn't let pass me by and that if I did go for it it may be one of the biggest and best changes I've ever made in my life, but at the same time my life is settling down here, oppertunities are opening here and I am somewhat happy right now… how can I know I'll be happy down there? God, this feeling is horrible. I walk around and I think I might be leaving all this behind, all the memories. It's weird how you take things for granted until they might be taken away from you and then you realise just how important they are… Then I think I'm lonely, all I have is a cat and a job I'm disheartened by keeping me here. Oh, and a family who seem to like passing me about like unwanted litter. There's not much tying me here, but I'm still tied up. :(
Oh jesus~ Bleck, read the page and vote to see another one. Just ignore my sad moaning~ ^^;
I also found the perfect music to draw to - trance! XD I put on the trance tag radio on Last.fm and bam, pages drawn in half an hour flat! Aha.
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