Rant Bitch Wine

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This page is dedicated to you crazy cat lovers

Conned

on April 24, 2007

Food from animal lovers usually has animal hair in it.

WHATS UP WITH PEOPLE WITH MULTIPUL CATS LOOKING WORST OFF THAN THEIR CATS?! HUH?! Take care of yourself dammit! The RSPCA won't kill you if you use cat food money to feed yourself :) It's OOOKAAAY.

…I'm afraid I'll turn out like this BUT THERE'S SO MANY KINDS OF DOGS I WANT! and guinea-pigs (they're the cutest). Cuter than bunnies by far. Actually I'm planning to own a guinea pig farm. >.>

You know what, I can't rant about this.

I want you all to make sure your house doesn't look like this though! Having two cats drives me mad!

So I'm going to tell you about how much my cat drives me mad. People think I hate my cat because I rant about her so much. Just letting you know that I believe my cat is the best in the world and non of yall can compare!

————-

Well it all began with her having babies. A lot of them.
Now that's all dandy and stuff but she's supposed to be sterile! So you can imagine what a shock it was to see her balloon and pop out 4 kittens…times that by three.

Note to audience: they were very cute. I'm sure they still are.

But then, she had kittens every summer because we never got round to getting the cat operation. My bad.

So one summer we went on holiday and left the cats to their own devices with plenty of food and the WHOLE garden to use as a toilet. Only we locked them out of the house.

SOMEHOW they managed to break in? THEN they all peed on my sofa! THATS ALOT OF PEE PEOPLE!

So much pee that the air was toxic. TOXIC. So we were barred from the living room because we probably would die from AIDS or something… We had to get this carpet cleaner expert over 5 times to use this heavy machinery (which cleans or sofas…). But my sofa still smells :( *Pity me?*

Then I got over it, took me a while, but yeah. Okay. So she peed on my couch out of spite. That's all part of being a pet owner.

But now she's gotten used to peeing on my sofa. She just walks in, pees, and walks out again.

I think she's gone senile!

help! Stray senile cat loose in my house!
…
Once I was watching TV so she came up behind me and PEED ON MY SOFA. I was astonished…to say the least.

(…this is the same cat that wouldn't pee in the garden if you were looking at her!)

Senile, right?! She's lost it. Too many babies..

So apparently she hates us for leaving her behind on holiday.

Well you know what?! If she really wanted to come, she should have asked us!