Rogues of Clwyd Rhan First Prev - A stitch in time will do just fine! - Back to what passes for normality - Time travelers? - Wait, wait, wait, does that mean- - Vigdis and the doc would make a cute couple - This bit goes here - Suitably impressed or not? - Whoo-hoo-hoo! - Who? - Rásdondr's Frankenstein Complex - Action-packed filler - Rásdondr's Dragons The Prof and the Doctor - What became of the dress? - Grendel makes a splash. - Later, in the pub... - Did Vigdis help pass the time more quickly? - Oppressive, tomb-like silence! - Grendel gets obnoxious - The debate continues in the cafetaria - Embarrassment to Bleiz the Lutin - Slow down, prof! - Rásdondr poo-poos - What about other hybrids? - What became of the Green Knight? (3 of 3) - What became of the Green Knight? (2 of 3) - What became of the Green Knight? (1 of 3) - The red queen - Who was behind the laughing powder attack, and what was it meant to accomplish? Nitpicks! Answering readers' questions in comic form! - Baaawk! C'est fini! - Ragna acts like she's Kel' s mother! - What the cluck? - Bonfire and Clydesdale make their escape, and Kel and Jodoque are dispatched. - Even bureaucrats get fed up - Bringing in the suspects, and promoting to fill the gap - Contemplating history - The painting - Curving horizons - Nightly goings-on - Resolution - Vroom goes the faerie - A question popped - Felix velut porcus in sterco - Par-teh! - Ululation is always funny - Exposition and tension - Misery and sound effects - Twa magicians - Ka-Change! - Tentacles of love - Confusionation and splooshification - Disembodied conversation - It's radioactive green! - The belly of the beast - With a hey nonny nonny and a foom - Oh, it's gonna be the way I always thought it would be... - Signing in - Flight! - Verdicts begin - Drinking under the table - It's Homeric - Prof. Rásdondr sees the bright side of things - Fafnir breaks the taboo - Formaldehyde - Touching, huh? - The science explains - Lions, tigers and a great big elephant in the room - Rásdondr's testimony begins - Look at them eyes roll! Look at them roll! - Revisiting Contention - Goblin garment - An ugly encounter - That's always my defense too - Kel's testimony II - Kel's testimony I - Words fail - Muahaha - The plot congeals - Wythllew as visionary - Literary evidence - Outrageous outrage - Witch trial? - Drum roll, drum roll... - Cloaking spell - Kel's memories of things - An unusual gathering - O-nay omment-kay on the umps-stay - Dreaming of retirement already? - Going native - Grimborgsman/Maghreid - The Ghost Of Him Walks - Recap - Away from the court, for a while - Not much of a strategic thinker - Mud, and an important question - She's got a 'tood - Wythllew test-ti-FIES! - Wythllew to the fore! - Tattoos! Get'em while yer drunk! - Disturbing - Huh huh huh! - Off with his beard! - The Green Knight is asked to cooperate - Consternation over a severed head - Shrugging and preaching - The filth and the screaming - He's heard of courting rejection - Wheels falling off - Squiggly? - The direst phrase - This line was coming, you knew that. - Ottar's testimony begins - Any similarity to George W Bush is nearly coincidence - Lots of tasty DOOM! - Deliberation and drinks - Fafnir's Gambit - Expert Testimony 1. - Fading in and out - Fade into statue - Son of a bastard! - Swat! - Kangra's indictment - Spin Spin Spin - Endless, endless text! - Disputes within disputes - Isolde clashes with her esteemed opponent - Points of order, continued - Points of order - Lady Justice looks upon us all - Isolde sums up the work of the past few days - Ottar defuses the situation - Green balloons - The next day - Nighttime - It might be a Masonic ritual - Trippy! - Red Onion! - Suddenly, things are not going well - Isolde keeps up the good work - Arthur discusses his motives! - The lady is not for crowning - Offers and footnotes - Carved in the very wood! - Travel arrangements - All look same - Remember the office guy? - For kitten fans only - Slipping away - Turning up the heat - Good. Then we'll begin. - It *was* a real arrest! - We got her! - Mnuh - Something.. stirred - This spark, this needle, these maggots! - Things! - Maghreid's eagle eye - Once more into the CREEEAAAK! - Prepare for to - for to- - Sniffing and hacking - Lies! Damned lies! - Picasso with a hangover - Feiht reveals her motivation - Catch! - Chase! - It's hilahaha-hilahaha- harrowing. - Guilt trip - Gleeb! - Tuulen Ukko tuulen Akka, tuulen kaikki ristikansa - Debriefing - I got stripes, stripes around my shoulders... - Flunky say, flunky do - A little background on the Fae arts, and some swearing - It's done with mirrors Atra waxes theatrickal - A witch's cackle - If you went into the woods in 980... - City pillocks and skinny purple elf-things - Nostalgia-vision - DRE-A-M-T-I-ME! - Mbl, I say! Mbl! - Always keep a diamond in your head - Everybody do the st. Vitus dance - Abui's patience is tried again - Nothing clings like the past - Modeling - Effigy! - Tentacles and bureaucracy - You'd forgotten about the squid, hadn't you? - Never mess with a drunken gnome! - Meanwhile at the Lutin feast - Territorialism - This place is just like Bletchley Park, but with better wall art - Faerie wiretap - The art of diplomacy - Naive enthusiasm - The Eyeball of the beheld - Party at the Lutinses - A sweaty moment! - Wodeskovian? - A pleasant conversation - Cheese - It looks like an alehouse to me - Team Norla has a setback - That man is a sweet talker! - The itch with no name.. the itch that is in your pants. - Where they lead us... - Usesomehoodlessness - Haughtsome strengthsome - Talking Wythllew Blues - Eniac puts two and two together, and one thing in another. - Thok. - Corblimey, no! - Fading into Clarity - Dissent - Politicoes - Rough justice - At last, a wrestling move! - Give.... me... head... - Flute looting - Bonfire and Clydesdale - Post Mudball cooldown - Bring me the head of... bring me my head! - Pinching your nose from a distance - Norla as a chicken psychologist - Ze frensh roustair! - I see red - Interior monologue - Polite disagreement - Interior monologue, rudely interrupted - The scam explained - My manners are cutting off heads! - Hachettes Croisees on a field vert - The big green guy talks about knighthood. - At Last, the Green Knight! - Waking the witch, waking the faeries, waking the dogs and cats, the flies and rats. - Curled up on the floor, just like a baby boy... - Man of the forest - A little bit dotty - My body is my Grimborg - A Family Affair... - Ottar seems to have a cunning plan - Walking through the undergrowth - A twist in the tale, and a boot to the ass - The Douardess gets pushy - A cosy little chat - All-night close harmony baby wail concerto - All hell breaks loose - Green chickens, and a ham - Mudball! What's that like then? - The Bells of Hell - 'Bullshit' is such a useful word! - And the votes from the jury... - Let's dance! - Shoddy workmanship - Love Potion number 5 - A Scry in the Darkness - Robed in - Walk, don't fly - Crime scene investigation - Get a life, with the dreamer's dream - Thwack! - He must have been to the Ambassador's party - Cras! Cras! - That's an eerie thing to say for a Raven - Fearless leader my foot! - KRONK! - Oo-er. - Love those swirly whirly lights - Desorientation - The saddest creatures in the Gnomian Republic! - It must be the concussion - What a drrrrreadful ham! - Last resort... - Is it Vincent Price? - I turned into ... what? - Trouble has flame-red hair - Poof crash ding - At last... a rest - At Sinn Fae headquarters - And 'poof' he goes... - Gnomian ritual - Please, get on the slab - Backlash - They usually say that about weddings - Never piss off a duck - ... different somehow this time. - Norla's darkest hour... and how she copes with it - It gets sadder - Excsandas? - Do not eat the cookies - Have broom, will travel. - Bundle of laughs. - Kel misses her mom - Where Spin is Spun - Chew on this! - Heron are a kind of flying cow - Powdered wigs = hot sexx0rz - More legalese, and veiled threats - Legalese! - Altogether Upstairs, or Foole play she does? - Sidhe-Maghreid causes trouble - Crunchy Oatmeal - On the wings of cranes and heron - Red in tooth and claw - Bump in the night - Mystery Red Hat - Drama! - Grimborg - Back in the pub... - The lush separation engulfs them - Plans are made - Kangra of all people keeps a cool head... - Who-ho-ho-ho Shelterhue - More legal and political discourse - Political smoke and mirrors. But which is which? - A rustle, skepticism and a cunning plan - True, livid colors... green, to be precise - The gods are in their darkened halls, and all is right with the world... - They *never* look like axe murderers - The Blood Thickens... - Hi Ho, Hi Ho, it's off to work she goes - Kel's Rite of Serfdom, Night One - The Big Oaf! - Anise milk! It's an insult! - Sepia-toned, bitter-sweet meh-moh-rays - Into the Fi-aaaaaaaaaaaaargh! - A dam bursts. Or something like that. - Baaawl! - At last, an explanation! - More rancorous debate - Scene change! - They've been hating each other's guts for a long time - Wot, no Boursin? - It means "tail" - Sinn Fae - Clap me in irons! - A multi-colored, pint-sized mob - I- - Eyeball survey - Kel is shown around the Dyrtforrabyggern - A dreadful scenario - rrrrrrrrrrrrthoomtapocketapocketapocketa - It no trouble until drumming stop - Norla's livid - Uhm, wha? - Resistance is clearly futile - Impatience over late-itude - That moment just before the sewage factory hits the wind energy aggregate. - Getting dispensation - That's one way to keep your love life spicy... - Pranksterism is in the blood. - Get thee behind me! - Always remember what you've just got into bed with - Privacy and faeries don't mix. - From the mouths of alchemists... - Faerie wrangling 102. - Well.... OK. Just one cliché - Background info - Taking orders - Inn-evitably... - Floop - Welcome in penny chatter - Talking Grotto Voce - Inflationary faeries - Grotto grotto fandango - Rare Nordic Ethno Grooves - Runes. They're good for the soul. - Work, work work, with a hey and a ho and a nonny nonny - A Load of Old Cobblers' The Rite of Serfdom - A plain, yet foodsome repast III - A plain, yet foodsome repast II - A plain, yet foodsome repast I - Paradise regained... for some! II - Paradise regained... for some! I - Morph-lust sated - Oh, piffle! - Morph-lust and job-hunt II - Morph-lust and job-hunt I - Impulsive implosion, or impassiveness? - Impiety and impropriety! - Oththere saede to his hlaforde.... - Distribution - Disaugiation - Exploitation - Bovine faecalisation II - Bovine faecalisation I - Confirmation - Recuperation - Excorcism - Coercion - Running for it - Demonization - Towards Annihilation - Visitation - Third Generation - Undomestication - Malediction - Incineration - Exhumation - Manipulation - Admonition - Disinclination - Proposition - Apprehension - Dissimulation - Digression - Provocation - Disarticulation - Arbitration - Revelation - Argumentation - Captivation - Documentation - Contextualisation - Observation - Negotiation - Ritualization - Invecteration - Infestation - Nauseation - Inhumation - Evolution - Summonisation - Organisation - Hallucination? - Explication - Protestation - Raven's lowest ebb - Confronteration - Corneration - Reunion - Met with a raven, with eyes black as coal... - ... not a comedy troupe - Cool punk gear - An uncomfortable situation - More than just a source of drinks - Encampment - Ragna lays down the law. - Hildegard - That horse'll be coming out of a tin! - A misunderstanding is perpetuated - Reporting successes. - Alley-slipping - Balls - Flirtation - It's that hussy! Boo! Hiss! - Oog. - Gulp... - Femur and fury - Gloop. - Psychedelic Technicolor Berk - Scientific testing - Broccoli Cosmique! - Déjeuner sûr l'herbe - Shifty characters - Illicit research - Not the smallest pillock, nor the biggest, but a pillock and a half! - The saga begins - Fortification before exposition - Something shocking - Babies = yucky - Cameosity - Mudslope Sabbath - Talk to... well, some part of me that's actually part of me. - Exhaustification - Radiant... jewels - Decoy! - Red-headed trouble in a green bandana - It means "Hear Ye, Hear Ye" - A good outlook - Relational strain - Flashforward - Plunge - Shrug - Ears for the pulling - A turnout for the books! - The Elvish - 725 - 724 - 723 - 722 - 721 - 720 - 719 - 718 - 717 - 716 - 715 - Decision making process - A package with a message... and a half! - Racing Gnome - Fishful! - Steadhome found, hours belated - Backflash - Oh - Auteur dezes voelt zich altijd zo - Wythllew and Ottar don't get it - Leroukh makes the Understatement of the year 1001 - Aerial attack - The Corbies hire staff - Introducing Ottar! - Yule dinner, Corby style! - Harold - Mirror mirror on the wall - The Queen has had her say - Standoff-ish. - Actually, the Queen amuses herself - ... there is usually confusion. - Where there's smoke... - Woof! - Tempus Sugit - Fading from Grey - Hot Flash! - Carrying torches - Sparks will fly - Captive Elves - Singeing off a few years - Into the Fire! WAAAARGH! - Those baths, those awful baths! - Making do with what you have - "I'm a Librarian!" - "So go back to Libraria!" - The lived-in castle - Atra's sensibilities are put into question - Sticks and stones - Cave paintings - Not all women need a lot of time to pick their outfits - It rhymes! Groan... - Alligator guard - Potzenmacher? - Silent city - Can-do attitude! - Wyrmlike exposition - 'Off with her head!' - Conference - Vanishing act - It gets wyrder - Balls-to-the-wall witchcraft! - Bouncing and pinging - Skylla, meet Charibdis - Crossed-out commoners - Wythllew makes friends and influences people - The faerie and the earth-pig! - Wythllew's perspective - Meanwhile, Guðrún is having difficulties - Ethelfried's dilemma, and the certainties of her guest - Hmmmm... - Tamlin has had his say... - Recapitulation (again) and oh, there's a naked guy outside the window - Tamlin gets a keen if skeptical hearing - Ethelfried is pretty kurt. - More equal rules of engagement are established - Wythllew and Leroukh (cont.) - Wythllew is puzzled, and gets rooked - Something's going 'pop' in the forest. - Guðrún reaches her limits - Ethelfried has another guest - The Footman's Cold Shoulder - Tamlin's Progress - ... and settles in - A daily routine resumes... - Meanwhile at Leppiäinen's - Angry vicious Atra - The mood darkens... - Update - Proud parents! The Corby Tribe - Niiniis - Cooldown - Coming out of the sauna.... with a glow - ... - ... - ... - The Midden and the Windmill - Maternity - More of Sari's bedside manner - Ethelfried summons her courage - Zip - Ragna meets an old acquaintance - Hodie Mihi, Cras Tibi - Stressfest - Mrs. Leppiainen upholds the standard - Upheaval - Debriefing - Tamlin Officially Needs a Cold Bath - Sweat and Swelter Sauna Opera - Epilogue - Homecoming - Tentacles! - Facepalmeration and mufflification - The Dragon once again shows his unique perspective - Vegetation - Devourments - I've been reliably informed that the answer to that question is yes - Even the dragon propositions Kel! - Interlock - Eat your heart out, Niccolo Macchiavelli! - Thygmophilia - The hair never lies - Tamlin Reminisces - Gnomian intrigue continues - Guðrún, Ragna, Derek and JoBeth! - Booz'n Boots? - Kel drives a hard bargain - ... and you thought YOU had problems! - Big ol' dragon - Kel wakes up with all her clothes mysteriously still there - Evidence of absence - Crows can count, recognise people, and tell lies! - Rave... - Meanwhile, at the Corby Cottage - Bath and Beer - Dragon Dreams - Blinkies - Framed Matrix Crossover Day Seven - Framed Matrix Crossover Day Six - Framed Matrix Crossover Day Five - Framed Matrix Crossover Day Four - Framed Matrix Crossover Day Three - Framed Matrix Crossover Day Two - Framed Matrix Crossover Day one - Kel wakes from a dream, and then it gets weird. - Eldritch purple glow, but why a duck? - I'm a whack job, oh yeah. - Hypnagogic depression - Little Cottage in the Woods = not good - Mags thinks on her talons - Of course she does! Wait... - Oh! The door! - Nachos! - Got nails? - That's what you get... - Not quite a dogfight, but close. - No! Not the toothless gag! - Did I mention that you shouldn't mess with pregnant Kel? - Thrakattack! - It's probably because kittens can be vicious... - Bugger me! That's what the McGuffin looked like! - Don't mess with pregnant Kel! - She... wants... to... WHAT?? - She wants to WHAT? - The forecaster hadn't mentioned they'd be green - "Occasional" naked faerie? - As if Groy would ever adopt micro-taxes. - Quartz is a crystal... - Balls! Balls everywhere! - Where did I hear that phrase before? - Ahem. Woof. - When someone you know turns out to be a celebrity... - Psychedelic! - YOU! NEED! VOLUME! IN! THIS! JOB! - You always start with that. - Waking up Screaming - Herding! - Dolphins and Dragons - Epiloguosity - Endfulness - Confuzzelation. And alcoholisation. - Whatwhatwhatwhatwhatwhat? - The name of the Great Gourme is invoked. - ... and the flamethrower goes 'woof' - Kra and Kel, in one universe - Tempt the untemptable - We're glad too - Poor, poor Tamlin! - Here's a chance to make it, if we focus on your goal - Did I mention Jodoque's sudden interest in dung? - Panning out - Kccchhhk! - So. Doomed. - Ethnic slurs are used. Or something - Fine Gnomian hashish - Eat your heart out, J.R.R Tolkien! - Jay communicates - Jake's instinct for spotting naked women raises some more eyebrows - Jodoque's sudden interest in dung raises some eyebrows - What a boor! - What the flaming Futhark on a buttered stick? - Black and white haircut = bad news - Well, wouldn't you be skeptical? - Lunkhead redux - This is a joke, right? - Conspiracies are phat! - Why's she averting her eyes like that? - The Corby Clan - Epilogue - Monks are monky - It's quite allright. The chosen one always rejects the prophecy - Notsodevius - Campbell is a brand of soup. - Grovel - Clerical Underground - I suppose they're pretty lucky - Consternation and dearbordomification - ... and where did Dag get a huff? - Weren't they ALL unpleasant people? - Lingua Franca incomprehensabla - Wring that neck, baby - Urban sophisticate Tamlin - A mystical instrument? - It's a genuine Eriksson! - Bellyfeeling - Dag's fate - "Trusty" Leppiainen? - Atra rains on a parade - Log cabin plans Babble Banter Brouhaha - Oh God Oh God Oh God - Toothless Crocodile Pit - Who's the weakest link? - Mr. Whippy - Wrong, it was you - But but but... what are the rules? - Rrreveal - A surprise, of sorts - Pillars in a circle, uh-oh - Widescreen Jerome Bosch - Thwak! # 2 - Why not abandon all fear? - Thwak! #1 - An unwelcome guest The Weakest Lunkhead - Archery 2 Archery 1 - So what was it you wanted to tell me? - C'mere... closer... - You go first. No, you. - Ragna, Kel, there's something I've got to tell you - Who's the Visigoth? - You're back! - We bred trolls! For the souvenir market! - Tamlin? - Yeah? - I dunno... we just had a good gender balance going... - I demand that you put me down! - Come all ye fair and tender girls... - Found anything yet? - Not enough soap, I think. - Uh-Oh! It's getting unstable! - Ohshitohshitohshit! - Whaddayamean, you hate magic? - Er... thingies. Whatever. - Mandrake Root! Eye of Newt! Agar-Agar! Drool of Toad! - We'll brew a potion to sedate those two. - Mudbath! Carbuncle Cthulhu! - Guards! Hang Guðrún by her ears and lower her slowly into boiling oil! - Hahaa! Oh, no! - Oops! - Burn in hell, flea-infested mongrels! Bad! - It seems to be getting narrower here - Now! Let's go find that witch! - This place must be part of the ancestral Dönnerwetter castle. - We stood guard last night and watched it reassemble itself. - Look! I've found this really cool wolf fur! - Oooooooooh my head - But he's such a - such a- such a - I told you it was a hare-brained scheme! - Well, let's tuck in! - There's a light at that end... - It's built into the wall! - Shishishalashone! - Rap! Rap! Wha! - We'd love to stay, but someone should stay behind to guard the prisoners... - Shiver and tremble, fiends! The Baron of Fieffelfalsfaffel is here! - : ...As soon as our mistress signals the attack, I'll eat at least three of the ambassador's guards... - Hut! Hut! Hut! - And so I found this outpost where three dog-men were talking about - hey, I've got beer? - Yip! Wheeze! Pant! - Identify myself? My foot! - What's he waiting for? - Just don't do it while I'm around. - Looting, pillaging and ... the other thing - The firm axe of strong government - The what? - Am I glad to be out of the embassy for a bit! - Whoa! Kick-ass broom... - Castle Rimur - Heptokilononacenteduodecamerone - And now, I've always got plenty of staff at my disposal! - Bootlicking minions - One day, I reached an important insight... - There was a formula for creating wolfmen in a book - ...A bomb went off in the chimney! - It's got copies of the entire Vatican Collection - Take two parts goose spit and a spoonfull of wasp fat - Amazonian Aggressors Assault Assinine Ambassador - FFF: Ever the diplomat - Pant pant pant - This is not the career I had in mind! - So you think she is breaking through the mandrake spell? - I'll go to town and buy some fresh fish. - And so we conclude this special meeting with the recommendation... - Report from our spies, sir! - Kra, could you go and fetch us a few bars of soap - Would you mind if I wrung the Ambassador's neck first? - The Ambassador tarries... - The representative is a tea-totaller. - What the hell do you think you are doing? - It could even be Guðrún herself - Welcome all to the first strategy meeting... - Ragnarok! You look positively radiant today! - Good morning! - Hey, it was the fish, okay? - Combing hair - Arrooo! - You're teaching an ELF? - A Gnome will never be an elf. - Are you quite finished with your stupid games? - I was taught by - Mthpfh! - Pondering powerful magic - Regrettable misunderstanding, amice - I am Ragnarok, flap - Ambassador, thrilled, thwip - Ghni, whine, introductions - Tweeting birds, sorry, WAP! - You and your pals have an exciting life though - You know, we almost got arrested here once - Hogsbludderfenchurch fair - Would you like a broom-ride home? - So what's so tricky about juggling penguins? - Toads. Legs. Mandrake. Four - Oh yeah, the other visitor! - Sanderon, you old poisoner! - Mudslope Festival canceled due to bright sunny weather - I see someone up there! Hello? - The biggest tourist attraction - Traveling - And of course, I did have some training in the Craft - Kiss - Look very carefully - no problem! - An elf? - The local microclimate is full of surprises - Hmmm... how about a trip? - Get thee behind me, cold front! - Dux explicit - Honest work, a fee, and some time away from Clwyd-Rhan - Duke Henry explains his concerns - The high-born Lady Trollop! - Bah! Inedible - Pickings are slim again. - Miss! Thbbpp! - Bloodthirsty berserks who - FLATS! - Clwyd-Rhan's winters are harsh! - Intro page 4 - Intro page 3 - Intro page 2 - Gudrun - Epilogue - 'Hey, nice necklace' - don't you just want to hug and cuddle him? - Kel brandishes that thing better than she does a sword! - She's been socked! - If you want to imagine the future, imagine a foot... - Pentagram and double-pentagram - Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeevil! - tranquility interrupted by mayhem - Wait, wait, wait - Brrrrrrrrrrreasts! Brrrrrrrrrrrrreasts!!!!!! - I just like to say "trollop" - I want movable ears like that - At least distracting Scarabus is easy - I mean, look at you! - Setting the agenda - aw... - Looking o the bright side... - That also didn't look pleasant - Literature search - ... - Kick when she's down - That's gotta hurt! - Smackdown! - Ha! - Tomatenprimaten - Kel and Atra are back from the Sabbat - Striking at the root of the problem - The others have found the tree. - It looks like Wythllew has been out in the heat for too long - Tamlin is unwilsome, and Damonk is stuck in his comic. - The wood can get pretty scary at this time of year. - It's... green. Very... green. - Jodoque waxes prophetic - A search is started - Ragna is puzzled over Tamlin abandoning his ale. - Some boaring stuff interrupted by magic - Tamlin tries to get some work done. - Muggy, Sweaty heat! - Wythllew changes her tune but not her idiom, alas - Broil my haunches and call me Rumpelstilt! - Controntation! Hoodwin, etc. - Poit - Wrath and displeasure! - Toxic waste is conveniently dumped - Scarabus revises his plans - Seethe - Not quite a cannibal-and-missionary gag, but close. - Pig-boy robs a shop. - The legend of the earth-pig - Jodoque makes a strategic withdrawal - Jodoque does not like the look of the Earth-Pig at all - Bookspace! - The Earth-Pig's origins explained - It' s a ... whatever! - Scarabus The Faerie and the Earth-Pig - Musicking 4 - Musicking 3 - Musicking 2 Musicking 1 King's Drama - the story we're skipping - CRAC! - It's like a ticker tape parade, but without the ticker tape - A warm welcome - One more zap, and... - One more thing remains to be done! - Plant fight! - The mess is, indeed, considerable - Gnome meets gnome - Overgrowth - Vlap, again! - She's awfully smug - Introducing Kangra - Delicate flowers - Okidokey - Phew! - A WHAT landed on the temple? - Contention has reached the Goblin King's castle - We can't leave the prisoners here like this! - Er... VLAP! - Pentagrams for freedom! - It's making me nervous, it give me the hives - If the Great Gourm isn't satisfied, I'm not satisfied - Jake's fate worse than death - The rear-end ramrod? Oh dear... - Enter Ghrgugha - Iron fetters-the bastards! - Sour grapes, disappointingly small diamonds, and the torture dungeon - The Goblin King's tasteful parties - That lucky, lucky bastard! - Ruling with a copper fist - The mother of all bad puns is here. - Suggestions of a vegetarian diet, and the breaking up of tents. - Attacking Ghrghuha - Woe and Alas - Uncouth - The Great Gourm will not be fobbed off - The ugliest mongrel! - Ah, there she is - Can you spot the Kel? - Sodoffsodoffsodoff - Feed the cyclops already! - Zinngggg! - Globbo the cyclops will join you - The spoils of war - Kel hates her outfit, and mistrusts the Gnomes - A change of clothes - The Gnome wins. - One for the transformation fans - Flipping the bird - Trouble with jewelry - Moving into plot - Gnomian transports explained - Ragna seeks enlightenment - Put me down! - Finally, some certainty about Tamlin's species - Bleary-eyed gnomes - Hyperspace, or something - Occult forces and outdated pop culture - Kel is struck by a realisation - A Thunderous applause - Announcements and suspense building - The lutist Jakob Henriksson - Tamlin is happy as a Tamlin in beer - Kel awakes from sweet slumber - Come on hear dear girl, have some soup - Morning - How to extract food from gullible vendors - The disaster continues - Rain and mud! - Tamlin's woes continue - Beerspace - Invisible Frog, take 1 - It's invitation-only! - Tamlin likes the easy life - Rose - Hot damn and potato - Watermelon - With what, indeed - Tamlin's new shape - Refresher course crack - Mad as a hatter! Ha ha! - Hatter? What hatter? - A peaceful scene and a crime The Stone of Contention - The End - Them mammals sure are lucky - A wild, chemise-clad chase follows - ...and another 25 - Kel goes for broke - That'll be twenty rosaries - Sanctuary - A wild chase, because we haven't seen those before. - Whoa! The New Sheriff - The End - There's nothing to it. Banzai! - ... but those other guys are still outside! - Kel prevents disaster - In her own unique manner, Kel makes a discovery - Malt, wort, dandelion leaves and slug slime - Process - A tour of the premises, if you'd be so kind, sir? - The village of Dogwhat Brewery - What will I tell the others? - You uuuuuuuused meeeee! - How do you manage with all that excess baggage? - What lurks beneath that hideous exterior? - Jewelry and sweetness - Go on then, hero! - I remember it well... - We've got no choice... - The next morning - That night is The Night of the Dragon (thunderclap) - One night each year, it's safe to walk through the forests of Clwyd-Rhan alone. Night of the Dragon - A new proclamation - And that would have been that, if not... - The feast - The journey back - Atra and Kel consider the plot holes - Tweet, tweet, infodump - The King is slow of understanding - At last, the condemned man stirs no more - The announcer's prose turns somewhat purple - Dona Eis Requiem - Thwack and also bleargh - Pie jesu domine - In which we play spot the rat - In which paté is made and wuks are improvised - In which the word sundry is used. Also trifle - Moral dilemmas can drive a girl nuts - Two men - Kel prowls the night - Tamlin has an imp of punning in him - I wouldn't leave that bed either - The Poet basks in the King's brilliance - A feeble excuse - Maybe maybe maybe - Tamlin appears to come to his senses, or does he? - Divers and sundry solutions for blah blah blah - Joachim Piepelmeyer the Younger - Spawn of the devil! - Ribbit, ribbit - An urgent request not to disturb the faerie - Load up! Load up! - Commander Alvarez - Deranged cackling - Stinkhorns! In my wrath I hadn't snuffled them - Who dares vex Wythllew? - Gnomes' feet! - What a washout! - Drool of toad and foamy conversation - Discreet reconnoitry - Kel is given reason to grumble - Atra's in the dumps - The not very classy inn - Slippety slip - Kel's senses tingle - Bed, bath and booze - The high road and the low - King of the mountain - The King's logic - A royal decision - Tent trouble and bad jokes - Not a lot of wisdom here - Whose pillar is bigger than whose? - Claudius the pillar saint and his buddy - The Pillar Field - Uncouth character and arid plain - Scaramouche scaramouche will you do the hemp hornpipe - Goldmuskateller and shinee. - Booze. It makes you drunk. - The helpful barman - Beer! - Tamlin orders a round - Trust will not go unpunished - Packing for the trip - The even more unctuous doodler - The unctuous rhymer - Revelation - The hanged man - Hell is other people getting eggs broken over them - Talk about opportunity knocking - Tamlin ponders and dithers. Then he has a vision - Tamlin has a bright idea - The King's missive is read - The skull of a racing goblin is thick - The net is sprung - How to nab a racing goblin - Ragnarok's pit - Trails of the Rogues - The Death Warrant: Frontispiece and introduction The Death Warrant - Dénouement - The fiend's manners become a topic of debate - A hare-brained scheme is hatched Devil - All's well that ends well for someone. - Hefigna Hafagnagna Hunfougnon - Just when Atra realises what she needs... - Onions, brie, menthol.. - Jake puts another customer in his pipe and smokes him - Tough scientific nuts are being cracked. - Atra also has a question. - Objectives, means and loot - Lead, lead lead, we like to sell lots of lead! - Meanwhile, a scam is being hatched - This year's conference is in the woods! - Damn those annoying perpetuum mobiles! - Some historical background on alchemists - A letter Alchemists - The end - Tending to the fire - Pants, draughts and magic - Jake takes a risk - Flump - Bwa ha ha ... ha ha ha ha - Barnardus reveals his true nature - Pleading with his royalness - Hahaa! Success! Bow to your King! - At the castle - Kel in the pen, and in the dumps - Well, well, well - Kel grabs the Belt, and then... - Kel tries to turn the tide - A quick little siege - Jake is concerned, Barnardus is not - Respect Barnardus' Authority! - Chac! - There they are - A mission for Kel - They're gone Headsmen - The end - Jake's recovery - Another belthole won't work - Trying on the belt - There's an undertone of obsession in the conversation. - A quick explanation - Action! - The Green Knight's turn - It gets bloody - To the shed! - Tamlin's response to the challenge - Faeries' Tongues in Aspic - Above or below the salt? - There's something fishy about this Green Knight. - The Green Knight likes fun - The imposing figure of the Green Knight - Lord and master - Introductions, and a path - Futharkism - A change in the hag's mood - The explanatory power of an empty barrel - The bosom of young Abigail - The happy hag - Fallen in the kettle, eh? - Invincibility potion, redux - That must be a hag, mark my words - The King's men are willied - Ogre - The King's mind grinds towards a conclusion - There are more critters in the forest - How to get rid of annoying fairies - A big book about monsters and demons - Cookies! - The punctured barrel - The Chase! - The next morning - King Groy in love - Nabbing the Racing Goblin - Racing Goblins explained - Arrival at the inn - That farmer is irritating - It's knackered - In short, bleah. - The journey starts - Shteal the Green Knight'sh Belt - Testing the potion - Superglue is useful for everything! - Tamlin loses his bottle - The Golden Noose - Jake and Ragna have a moment - Tamlin hears an interesting tale - Creative management ideaas - Competition - The gang at work, for a change - Tax Gatherers - A word on King Groy - The Setting, Explained - It's driving me nuts! - Foreword to The Green Knight's Belt The Green Knight's Belt Next Last First Prev - A stitch in time will do just fine! - Back to what passes for normality - Time travelers? - Wait, wait, wait, does that mean- - Vigdis and the doc would make a cute couple - This bit goes here - Suitably impressed or not? - Whoo-hoo-hoo! - Who? - Rásdondr's Frankenstein Complex - Action-packed filler - Rásdondr's Dragons The Prof and the Doctor - What became of the dress? - Grendel makes a splash. - Later, in the pub... - Did Vigdis help pass the time more quickly? - Oppressive, tomb-like silence! - Grendel gets obnoxious - The debate continues in the cafetaria - Embarrassment to Bleiz the Lutin - Slow down, prof! - Rásdondr poo-poos - What about other hybrids? - What became of the Green Knight? (3 of 3) - What became of the Green Knight? (2 of 3) - What became of the Green Knight? (1 of 3) - The red queen - Who was behind the laughing powder attack, and what was it meant to accomplish? Nitpicks! Answering readers' questions in comic form! - Baaawk! C'est fini! - Ragna acts like she's Kel' s mother! - What the cluck? - Bonfire and Clydesdale make their escape, and Kel and Jodoque are dispatched. - Even bureaucrats get fed up - Bringing in the suspects, and promoting to fill the gap - Contemplating history - The painting - Curving horizons - Nightly goings-on - Resolution - Vroom goes the faerie - A question popped - Felix velut porcus in sterco - Par-teh! - Ululation is always funny - Exposition and tension - Misery and sound effects - Twa magicians - Ka-Change! - Tentacles of love - Confusionation and splooshification - Disembodied conversation - It's radioactive green! - The belly of the beast - With a hey nonny nonny and a foom - Oh, it's gonna be the way I always thought it would be... - Signing in - Flight! - Verdicts begin - Drinking under the table - It's Homeric - Prof. Rásdondr sees the bright side of things - Fafnir breaks the taboo - Formaldehyde - Touching, huh? - The science explains - Lions, tigers and a great big elephant in the room - Rásdondr's testimony begins - Look at them eyes roll! Look at them roll! - Revisiting Contention - Goblin garment - An ugly encounter - That's always my defense too - Kel's testimony II - Kel's testimony I - Words fail - Muahaha - The plot congeals - Wythllew as visionary - Literary evidence - Outrageous outrage - Witch trial? - Drum roll, drum roll... - Cloaking spell - Kel's memories of things - An unusual gathering - O-nay omment-kay on the umps-stay - Dreaming of retirement already? - Going native - Grimborgsman/Maghreid - The Ghost Of Him Walks - Recap - Away from the court, for a while - Not much of a strategic thinker - Mud, and an important question - She's got a 'tood - Wythllew test-ti-FIES! - Wythllew to the fore! - Tattoos! Get'em while yer drunk! - Disturbing - Huh huh huh! - Off with his beard! - The Green Knight is asked to cooperate - Consternation over a severed head - Shrugging and preaching - The filth and the screaming - He's heard of courting rejection - Wheels falling off - Squiggly? - The direst phrase - This line was coming, you knew that. - Ottar's testimony begins - Any similarity to George W Bush is nearly coincidence - Lots of tasty DOOM! - Deliberation and drinks - Fafnir's Gambit - Expert Testimony 1. - Fading in and out - Fade into statue - Son of a bastard! - Swat! - Kangra's indictment - Spin Spin Spin - Endless, endless text! - Disputes within disputes - Isolde clashes with her esteemed opponent - Points of order, continued - Points of order - Lady Justice looks upon us all - Isolde sums up the work of the past few days - Ottar defuses the situation - Green balloons - The next day - Nighttime - It might be a Masonic ritual - Trippy! - Red Onion! - Suddenly, things are not going well - Isolde keeps up the good work - Arthur discusses his motives! - The lady is not for crowning - Offers and footnotes - Carved in the very wood! - Travel arrangements - All look same - Remember the office guy? - For kitten fans only - Slipping away - Turning up the heat - Good. Then we'll begin. - It *was* a real arrest! - We got her! - Mnuh - Something.. stirred - This spark, this needle, these maggots! - Things! - Maghreid's eagle eye - Once more into the CREEEAAAK! - Prepare for to - for to- - Sniffing and hacking - Lies! Damned lies! - Picasso with a hangover - Feiht reveals her motivation - Catch! - Chase! - It's hilahaha-hilahaha- harrowing. - Guilt trip - Gleeb! - Tuulen Ukko tuulen Akka, tuulen kaikki ristikansa - Debriefing - I got stripes, stripes around my shoulders... - Flunky say, flunky do - A little background on the Fae arts, and some swearing - It's done with mirrors Atra waxes theatrickal - A witch's cackle - If you went into the woods in 980... - City pillocks and skinny purple elf-things - Nostalgia-vision - DRE-A-M-T-I-ME! - Mbl, I say! Mbl! - Always keep a diamond in your head - Everybody do the st. Vitus dance - Abui's patience is tried again - Nothing clings like the past - Modeling - Effigy! - Tentacles and bureaucracy - You'd forgotten about the squid, hadn't you? - Never mess with a drunken gnome! - Meanwhile at the Lutin feast - Territorialism - This place is just like Bletchley Park, but with better wall art - Faerie wiretap - The art of diplomacy - Naive enthusiasm - The Eyeball of the beheld - Party at the Lutinses - A sweaty moment! - Wodeskovian? - A pleasant conversation - Cheese - It looks like an alehouse to me - Team Norla has a setback - That man is a sweet talker! - The itch with no name.. the itch that is in your pants. - Where they lead us... - Usesomehoodlessness - Haughtsome strengthsome - Talking Wythllew Blues - Eniac puts two and two together, and one thing in another. - Thok. - Corblimey, no! - Fading into Clarity - Dissent - Politicoes - Rough justice - At last, a wrestling move! - Give.... me... head... - Flute looting - Bonfire and Clydesdale - Post Mudball cooldown - Bring me the head of... bring me my head! - Pinching your nose from a distance - Norla as a chicken psychologist - Ze frensh roustair! - I see red - Interior monologue - Polite disagreement - Interior monologue, rudely interrupted - The scam explained - My manners are cutting off heads! - Hachettes Croisees on a field vert - The big green guy talks about knighthood. - At Last, the Green Knight! - Waking the witch, waking the faeries, waking the dogs and cats, the flies and rats. - Curled up on the floor, just like a baby boy... - Man of the forest - A little bit dotty - My body is my Grimborg - A Family Affair... - Ottar seems to have a cunning plan - Walking through the undergrowth - A twist in the tale, and a boot to the ass - The Douardess gets pushy - A cosy little chat - All-night close harmony baby wail concerto - All hell breaks loose - Green chickens, and a ham - Mudball! What's that like then? - The Bells of Hell - 'Bullshit' is such a useful word! - And the votes from the jury... - Let's dance! - Shoddy workmanship - Love Potion number 5 - A Scry in the Darkness - Robed in - Walk, don't fly - Crime scene investigation - Get a life, with the dreamer's dream - Thwack! - He must have been to the Ambassador's party - Cras! Cras! - That's an eerie thing to say for a Raven - Fearless leader my foot! - KRONK! - Oo-er. - Love those swirly whirly lights - Desorientation - The saddest creatures in the Gnomian Republic! - It must be the concussion - What a drrrrreadful ham! - Last resort... - Is it Vincent Price? - I turned into ... what? - Trouble has flame-red hair - Poof crash ding - At last... a rest - At Sinn Fae headquarters - And 'poof' he goes... - Gnomian ritual - Please, get on the slab - Backlash - They usually say that about weddings - Never piss off a duck - ... different somehow this time. - Norla's darkest hour... and how she copes with it - It gets sadder - Excsandas? - Do not eat the cookies - Have broom, will travel. - Bundle of laughs. - Kel misses her mom - Where Spin is Spun - Chew on this! - Heron are a kind of flying cow - Powdered wigs = hot sexx0rz - More legalese, and veiled threats - Legalese! - Altogether Upstairs, or Foole play she does? - Sidhe-Maghreid causes trouble - Crunchy Oatmeal - On the wings of cranes and heron - Red in tooth and claw - Bump in the night - Mystery Red Hat - Drama! - Grimborg - Back in the pub... - The lush separation engulfs them - Plans are made - Kangra of all people keeps a cool head... - Who-ho-ho-ho Shelterhue - More legal and political discourse - Political smoke and mirrors. But which is which? - A rustle, skepticism and a cunning plan - True, livid colors... green, to be precise - The gods are in their darkened halls, and all is right with the world... - They *never* look like axe murderers - The Blood Thickens... - Hi Ho, Hi Ho, it's off to work she goes - Kel's Rite of Serfdom, Night One - The Big Oaf! - Anise milk! It's an insult! - Sepia-toned, bitter-sweet meh-moh-rays - Into the Fi-aaaaaaaaaaaaargh! - A dam bursts. Or something like that. - Baaawl! - At last, an explanation! - More rancorous debate - Scene change! - They've been hating each other's guts for a long time - Wot, no Boursin? - It means "tail" - Sinn Fae - Clap me in irons! - A multi-colored, pint-sized mob - I- - Eyeball survey - Kel is shown around the Dyrtforrabyggern - A dreadful scenario - rrrrrrrrrrrrthoomtapocketapocketapocketa - It no trouble until drumming stop - Norla's livid - Uhm, wha? - Resistance is clearly futile - Impatience over late-itude - That moment just before the sewage factory hits the wind energy aggregate. - Getting dispensation - That's one way to keep your love life spicy... - Pranksterism is in the blood. - Get thee behind me! - Always remember what you've just got into bed with - Privacy and faeries don't mix. - From the mouths of alchemists... - Faerie wrangling 102. - Well.... OK. Just one cliché - Background info - Taking orders - Inn-evitably... - Floop - Welcome in penny chatter - Talking Grotto Voce - Inflationary faeries - Grotto grotto fandango - Rare Nordic Ethno Grooves - Runes. They're good for the soul. - Work, work work, with a hey and a ho and a nonny nonny - A Load of Old Cobblers' The Rite of Serfdom - A plain, yet foodsome repast III - A plain, yet foodsome repast II - A plain, yet foodsome repast I - Paradise regained... for some! II - Paradise regained... for some! I - Morph-lust sated - Oh, piffle! - Morph-lust and job-hunt II - Morph-lust and job-hunt I - Impulsive implosion, or impassiveness? - Impiety and impropriety! - Oththere saede to his hlaforde.... - Distribution - Disaugiation - Exploitation - Bovine faecalisation II - Bovine faecalisation I - Confirmation - Recuperation - Excorcism - Coercion - Running for it - Demonization - Towards Annihilation - Visitation - Third Generation - Undomestication - Malediction - Incineration - Exhumation - Manipulation - Admonition - Disinclination - Proposition - Apprehension - Dissimulation - Digression - Provocation - Disarticulation - Arbitration - Revelation - Argumentation - Captivation - Documentation - Contextualisation - Observation - Negotiation - Ritualization - Invecteration - Infestation - Nauseation - Inhumation - Evolution - Summonisation - Organisation - Hallucination? - Explication - Protestation - Raven's lowest ebb - Confronteration - Corneration - Reunion - Met with a raven, with eyes black as coal... - ... not a comedy troupe - Cool punk gear - An uncomfortable situation - More than just a source of drinks - Encampment - Ragna lays down the law. - Hildegard - That horse'll be coming out of a tin! - A misunderstanding is perpetuated - Reporting successes. - Alley-slipping - Balls - Flirtation - It's that hussy! Boo! Hiss! - Oog. - Gulp... - Femur and fury - Gloop. - Psychedelic Technicolor Berk - Scientific testing - Broccoli Cosmique! - Déjeuner sûr l'herbe - Shifty characters - Illicit research - Not the smallest pillock, nor the biggest, but a pillock and a half! - The saga begins - Fortification before exposition - Something shocking - Babies = yucky - Cameosity - Mudslope Sabbath - Talk to... well, some part of me that's actually part of me. - Exhaustification - Radiant... jewels - Decoy! - Red-headed trouble in a green bandana - It means "Hear Ye, Hear Ye" - A good outlook - Relational strain - Flashforward - Plunge - Shrug - Ears for the pulling - A turnout for the books! - The Elvish - 725 - 724 - 723 - 722 - 721 - 720 - 719 - 718 - 717 - 716 - 715 - Decision making process - A package with a message... and a half! - Racing Gnome - Fishful! - Steadhome found, hours belated - Backflash - Oh - Auteur dezes voelt zich altijd zo - Wythllew and Ottar don't get it - Leroukh makes the Understatement of the year 1001 - Aerial attack - The Corbies hire staff - Introducing Ottar! - Yule dinner, Corby style! - Harold - Mirror mirror on the wall - The Queen has had her say - Standoff-ish. - Actually, the Queen amuses herself - ... there is usually confusion. - Where there's smoke... - Woof! - Tempus Sugit - Fading from Grey - Hot Flash! - Carrying torches - Sparks will fly - Captive Elves - Singeing off a few years - Into the Fire! WAAAARGH! - Those baths, those awful baths! - Making do with what you have - "I'm a Librarian!" - "So go back to Libraria!" - The lived-in castle - Atra's sensibilities are put into question - Sticks and stones - Cave paintings - Not all women need a lot of time to pick their outfits - It rhymes! Groan... - Alligator guard - Potzenmacher? - Silent city - Can-do attitude! - Wyrmlike exposition - 'Off with her head!' - Conference - Vanishing act - It gets wyrder - Balls-to-the-wall witchcraft! - Bouncing and pinging - Skylla, meet Charibdis - Crossed-out commoners - Wythllew makes friends and influences people - The faerie and the earth-pig! - Wythllew's perspective - Meanwhile, Guðrún is having difficulties - Ethelfried's dilemma, and the certainties of her guest - Hmmmm... - Tamlin has had his say... - Recapitulation (again) and oh, there's a naked guy outside the window - Tamlin gets a keen if skeptical hearing - Ethelfried is pretty kurt. - More equal rules of engagement are established - Wythllew and Leroukh (cont.) - Wythllew is puzzled, and gets rooked - Something's going 'pop' in the forest. - Guðrún reaches her limits - Ethelfried has another guest - The Footman's Cold Shoulder - Tamlin's Progress - ... and settles in - A daily routine resumes... - Meanwhile at Leppiäinen's - Angry vicious Atra - The mood darkens... - Update - Proud parents! The Corby Tribe - Niiniis - Cooldown - Coming out of the sauna.... with a glow - ... - ... - ... - The Midden and the Windmill - Maternity - More of Sari's bedside manner - Ethelfried summons her courage - Zip - Ragna meets an old acquaintance - Hodie Mihi, Cras Tibi - Stressfest - Mrs. Leppiainen upholds the standard - Upheaval - Debriefing - Tamlin Officially Needs a Cold Bath - Sweat and Swelter Sauna Opera - Epilogue - Homecoming - Tentacles! - Facepalmeration and mufflification - The Dragon once again shows his unique perspective - Vegetation - Devourments - I've been reliably informed that the answer to that question is yes - Even the dragon propositions Kel! - Interlock - Eat your heart out, Niccolo Macchiavelli! - Thygmophilia - The hair never lies - Tamlin Reminisces - Gnomian intrigue continues - Guðrún, Ragna, Derek and JoBeth! - Booz'n Boots? - Kel drives a hard bargain - ... and you thought YOU had problems! - Big ol' dragon - Kel wakes up with all her clothes mysteriously still there - Evidence of absence - Crows can count, recognise people, and tell lies! - Rave... - Meanwhile, at the Corby Cottage - Bath and Beer - Dragon Dreams - Blinkies - Framed Matrix Crossover Day Seven - Framed Matrix Crossover Day Six - Framed Matrix Crossover Day Five - Framed Matrix Crossover Day Four - Framed Matrix Crossover Day Three - Framed Matrix Crossover Day Two - Framed Matrix Crossover Day one - Kel wakes from a dream, and then it gets weird. - Eldritch purple glow, but why a duck? - I'm a whack job, oh yeah. - Hypnagogic depression - Little Cottage in the Woods = not good - Mags thinks on her talons - Of course she does! Wait... - Oh! The door! - Nachos! - Got nails? - That's what you get... - Not quite a dogfight, but close. - No! Not the toothless gag! - Did I mention that you shouldn't mess with pregnant Kel? - Thrakattack! - It's probably because kittens can be vicious... - Bugger me! That's what the McGuffin looked like! - Don't mess with pregnant Kel! - She... wants... to... WHAT?? - She wants to WHAT? - The forecaster hadn't mentioned they'd be green - "Occasional" naked faerie? - As if Groy would ever adopt micro-taxes. - Quartz is a crystal... - Balls! Balls everywhere! - Where did I hear that phrase before? - Ahem. Woof. - When someone you know turns out to be a celebrity... - Psychedelic! - YOU! NEED! VOLUME! IN! THIS! JOB! - You always start with that. - Waking up Screaming - Herding! - Dolphins and Dragons - Epiloguosity - Endfulness - Confuzzelation. And alcoholisation. - Whatwhatwhatwhatwhatwhat? - The name of the Great Gourme is invoked. - ... and the flamethrower goes 'woof' - Kra and Kel, in one universe - Tempt the untemptable - We're glad too - Poor, poor Tamlin! - Here's a chance to make it, if we focus on your goal - Did I mention Jodoque's sudden interest in dung? - Panning out - Kccchhhk! - So. Doomed. - Ethnic slurs are used. Or something - Fine Gnomian hashish - Eat your heart out, J.R.R Tolkien! - Jay communicates - Jake's instinct for spotting naked women raises some more eyebrows - Jodoque's sudden interest in dung raises some eyebrows - What a boor! - What the flaming Futhark on a buttered stick? - Black and white haircut = bad news - Well, wouldn't you be skeptical? - Lunkhead redux - This is a joke, right? - Conspiracies are phat! - Why's she averting her eyes like that? - The Corby Clan - Epilogue - Monks are monky - It's quite allright. The chosen one always rejects the prophecy - Notsodevius - Campbell is a brand of soup. - Grovel - Clerical Underground - I suppose they're pretty lucky - Consternation and dearbordomification - ... and where did Dag get a huff? - Weren't they ALL unpleasant people? - Lingua Franca incomprehensabla - Wring that neck, baby - Urban sophisticate Tamlin - A mystical instrument? - It's a genuine Eriksson! - Bellyfeeling - Dag's fate - "Trusty" Leppiainen? - Atra rains on a parade - Log cabin plans Babble Banter Brouhaha - Oh God Oh God Oh God - Toothless Crocodile Pit - Who's the weakest link? - Mr. Whippy - Wrong, it was you - But but but... what are the rules? - Rrreveal - A surprise, of sorts - Pillars in a circle, uh-oh - Widescreen Jerome Bosch - Thwak! # 2 - Why not abandon all fear? - Thwak! #1 - An unwelcome guest The Weakest Lunkhead - Archery 2 Archery 1 - So what was it you wanted to tell me? - C'mere... closer... - You go first. No, you. - Ragna, Kel, there's something I've got to tell you - Who's the Visigoth? - You're back! - We bred trolls! For the souvenir market! - Tamlin? - Yeah? - I dunno... we just had a good gender balance going... - I demand that you put me down! - Come all ye fair and tender girls... - Found anything yet? - Not enough soap, I think. - Uh-Oh! It's getting unstable! - Ohshitohshitohshit! - Whaddayamean, you hate magic? - Er... thingies. Whatever. - Mandrake Root! Eye of Newt! Agar-Agar! Drool of Toad! - We'll brew a potion to sedate those two. - Mudbath! Carbuncle Cthulhu! - Guards! Hang Guðrún by her ears and lower her slowly into boiling oil! - Hahaa! Oh, no! - Oops! - Burn in hell, flea-infested mongrels! Bad! - It seems to be getting narrower here - Now! Let's go find that witch! - This place must be part of the ancestral Dönnerwetter castle. - We stood guard last night and watched it reassemble itself. - Look! I've found this really cool wolf fur! - Oooooooooh my head - But he's such a - such a- such a - I told you it was a hare-brained scheme! - Well, let's tuck in! - There's a light at that end... - It's built into the wall! - Shishishalashone! - Rap! Rap! Wha! - We'd love to stay, but someone should stay behind to guard the prisoners... - Shiver and tremble, fiends! The Baron of Fieffelfalsfaffel is here! - : ...As soon as our mistress signals the attack, I'll eat at least three of the ambassador's guards... - Hut! Hut! Hut! - And so I found this outpost where three dog-men were talking about - hey, I've got beer? - Yip! Wheeze! Pant! - Identify myself? My foot! - What's he waiting for? - Just don't do it while I'm around. - Looting, pillaging and ... the other thing - The firm axe of strong government - The what? - Am I glad to be out of the embassy for a bit! - Whoa! Kick-ass broom... - Castle Rimur - Heptokilononacenteduodecamerone - And now, I've always got plenty of staff at my disposal! - Bootlicking minions - One day, I reached an important insight... - There was a formula for creating wolfmen in a book - ...A bomb went off in the chimney! - It's got copies of the entire Vatican Collection - Take two parts goose spit and a spoonfull of wasp fat - Amazonian Aggressors Assault Assinine Ambassador - FFF: Ever the diplomat - Pant pant pant - This is not the career I had in mind! - So you think she is breaking through the mandrake spell? - I'll go to town and buy some fresh fish. - And so we conclude this special meeting with the recommendation... - Report from our spies, sir! - Kra, could you go and fetch us a few bars of soap - Would you mind if I wrung the Ambassador's neck first? - The Ambassador tarries... - The representative is a tea-totaller. - What the hell do you think you are doing? - It could even be Guðrún herself - Welcome all to the first strategy meeting... - Ragnarok! You look positively radiant today! - Good morning! - Hey, it was the fish, okay? - Combing hair - Arrooo! - You're teaching an ELF? - A Gnome will never be an elf. - Are you quite finished with your stupid games? - I was taught by - Mthpfh! - Pondering powerful magic - Regrettable misunderstanding, amice - I am Ragnarok, flap - Ambassador, thrilled, thwip - Ghni, whine, introductions - Tweeting birds, sorry, WAP! - You and your pals have an exciting life though - You know, we almost got arrested here once - Hogsbludderfenchurch fair - Would you like a broom-ride home? - So what's so tricky about juggling penguins? - Toads. Legs. Mandrake. Four - Oh yeah, the other visitor! - Sanderon, you old poisoner! - Mudslope Festival canceled due to bright sunny weather - I see someone up there! Hello? - The biggest tourist attraction - Traveling - And of course, I did have some training in the Craft - Kiss - Look very carefully - no problem! - An elf? - The local microclimate is full of surprises - Hmmm... how about a trip? - Get thee behind me, cold front! - Dux explicit - Honest work, a fee, and some time away from Clwyd-Rhan - Duke Henry explains his concerns - The high-born Lady Trollop! - Bah! Inedible - Pickings are slim again. - Miss! Thbbpp! - Bloodthirsty berserks who - FLATS! - Clwyd-Rhan's winters are harsh! - Intro page 4 - Intro page 3 - Intro page 2 - Gudrun - Epilogue - 'Hey, nice necklace' - don't you just want to hug and cuddle him? - Kel brandishes that thing better than she does a sword! - She's been socked! - If you want to imagine the future, imagine a foot... - Pentagram and double-pentagram - Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeevil! - tranquility interrupted by mayhem - Wait, wait, wait - Brrrrrrrrrrreasts! Brrrrrrrrrrrrreasts!!!!!! - I just like to say "trollop" - I want movable ears like that - At least distracting Scarabus is easy - I mean, look at you! - Setting the agenda - aw... - Looking o the bright side... - That also didn't look pleasant - Literature search - ... - Kick when she's down - That's gotta hurt! - Smackdown! - Ha! - Tomatenprimaten - Kel and Atra are back from the Sabbat - Striking at the root of the problem - The others have found the tree. - It looks like Wythllew has been out in the heat for too long - Tamlin is unwilsome, and Damonk is stuck in his comic. - The wood can get pretty scary at this time of year. - It's... green. Very... green. - Jodoque waxes prophetic - A search is started - Ragna is puzzled over Tamlin abandoning his ale. - Some boaring stuff interrupted by magic - Tamlin tries to get some work done. - Muggy, Sweaty heat! - Wythllew changes her tune but not her idiom, alas - Broil my haunches and call me Rumpelstilt! - Controntation! Hoodwin, etc. - Poit - Wrath and displeasure! - Toxic waste is conveniently dumped - Scarabus revises his plans - Seethe - Not quite a cannibal-and-missionary gag, but close. - Pig-boy robs a shop. - The legend of the earth-pig - Jodoque makes a strategic withdrawal - Jodoque does not like the look of the Earth-Pig at all - Bookspace! - The Earth-Pig's origins explained - It' s a ... whatever! - Scarabus The Faerie and the Earth-Pig - Musicking 4 - Musicking 3 - Musicking 2 Musicking 1 King's Drama - the story we're skipping - CRAC! - It's like a ticker tape parade, but without the ticker tape - A warm welcome - One more zap, and... - One more thing remains to be done! - Plant fight! - The mess is, indeed, considerable - Gnome meets gnome - Overgrowth - Vlap, again! - She's awfully smug - Introducing Kangra - Delicate flowers - Okidokey - Phew! - A WHAT landed on the temple? - Contention has reached the Goblin King's castle - We can't leave the prisoners here like this! - Er... VLAP! - Pentagrams for freedom! - It's making me nervous, it give me the hives - If the Great Gourm isn't satisfied, I'm not satisfied - Jake's fate worse than death - The rear-end ramrod? Oh dear... - Enter Ghrgugha - Iron fetters-the bastards! - Sour grapes, disappointingly small diamonds, and the torture dungeon - The Goblin King's tasteful parties - That lucky, lucky bastard! - Ruling with a copper fist - The mother of all bad puns is here. - Suggestions of a vegetarian diet, and the breaking up of tents. - Attacking Ghrghuha - Woe and Alas - Uncouth - The Great Gourm will not be fobbed off - The ugliest mongrel! - Ah, there she is - Can you spot the Kel? - Sodoffsodoffsodoff - Feed the cyclops already! - Zinngggg! - Globbo the cyclops will join you - The spoils of war - Kel hates her outfit, and mistrusts the Gnomes - A change of clothes - The Gnome wins. - One for the transformation fans - Flipping the bird - Trouble with jewelry - Moving into plot - Gnomian transports explained - Ragna seeks enlightenment - Put me down! - Finally, some certainty about Tamlin's species - Bleary-eyed gnomes - Hyperspace, or something - Occult forces and outdated pop culture - Kel is struck by a realisation - A Thunderous applause - Announcements and suspense building - The lutist Jakob Henriksson - Tamlin is happy as a Tamlin in beer - Kel awakes from sweet slumber - Come on hear dear girl, have some soup - Morning - How to extract food from gullible vendors - The disaster continues - Rain and mud! - Tamlin's woes continue - Beerspace - Invisible Frog, take 1 - It's invitation-only! - Tamlin likes the easy life - Rose - Hot damn and potato - Watermelon - With what, indeed - Tamlin's new shape - Refresher course crack - Mad as a hatter! Ha ha! - Hatter? What hatter? - A peaceful scene and a crime The Stone of Contention - The End - Them mammals sure are lucky - A wild, chemise-clad chase follows - ...and another 25 - Kel goes for broke - That'll be twenty rosaries - Sanctuary - A wild chase, because we haven't seen those before. - Whoa! The New Sheriff - The End - There's nothing to it. Banzai! - ... but those other guys are still outside! - Kel prevents disaster - In her own unique manner, Kel makes a discovery - Malt, wort, dandelion leaves and slug slime - Process - A tour of the premises, if you'd be so kind, sir? - The village of Dogwhat Brewery - What will I tell the others? - You uuuuuuuused meeeee! - How do you manage with all that excess baggage? - What lurks beneath that hideous exterior? - Jewelry and sweetness - Go on then, hero! - I remember it well... - We've got no choice... - The next morning - That night is The Night of the Dragon (thunderclap) - One night each year, it's safe to walk through the forests of Clwyd-Rhan alone. Night of the Dragon - A new proclamation - And that would have been that, if not... - The feast - The journey back - Atra and Kel consider the plot holes - Tweet, tweet, infodump - The King is slow of understanding - At last, the condemned man stirs no more - The announcer's prose turns somewhat purple - Dona Eis Requiem - Thwack and also bleargh - Pie jesu domine - In which we play spot the rat - In which paté is made and wuks are improvised - In which the word sundry is used. Also trifle - Moral dilemmas can drive a girl nuts - Two men - Kel prowls the night - Tamlin has an imp of punning in him - I wouldn't leave that bed either - The Poet basks in the King's brilliance - A feeble excuse - Maybe maybe maybe - Tamlin appears to come to his senses, or does he? - Divers and sundry solutions for blah blah blah - Joachim Piepelmeyer the Younger - Spawn of the devil! - Ribbit, ribbit - An urgent request not to disturb the faerie - Load up! Load up! - Commander Alvarez - Deranged cackling - Stinkhorns! In my wrath I hadn't snuffled them - Who dares vex Wythllew? - Gnomes' feet! - What a washout! - Drool of toad and foamy conversation - Discreet reconnoitry - Kel is given reason to grumble - Atra's in the dumps - The not very classy inn - Slippety slip - Kel's senses tingle - Bed, bath and booze - The high road and the low - King of the mountain - The King's logic - A royal decision - Tent trouble and bad jokes - Not a lot of wisdom here - Whose pillar is bigger than whose? - Claudius the pillar saint and his buddy - The Pillar Field - Uncouth character and arid plain - Scaramouche scaramouche will you do the hemp hornpipe - Goldmuskateller and shinee. - Booze. It makes you drunk. - The helpful barman - Beer! - Tamlin orders a round - Trust will not go unpunished - Packing for the trip - The even more unctuous doodler - The unctuous rhymer - Revelation - The hanged man - Hell is other people getting eggs broken over them - Talk about opportunity knocking - Tamlin ponders and dithers. Then he has a vision - Tamlin has a bright idea - The King's missive is read - The skull of a racing goblin is thick - The net is sprung - How to nab a racing goblin - Ragnarok's pit - Trails of the Rogues - The Death Warrant: Frontispiece and introduction The Death Warrant - Dénouement - The fiend's manners become a topic of debate - A hare-brained scheme is hatched Devil - All's well that ends well for someone. - Hefigna Hafagnagna Hunfougnon - Just when Atra realises what she needs... - Onions, brie, menthol.. - Jake puts another customer in his pipe and smokes him - Tough scientific nuts are being cracked. - Atra also has a question. - Objectives, means and loot - Lead, lead lead, we like to sell lots of lead! - Meanwhile, a scam is being hatched - This year's conference is in the woods! - Damn those annoying perpetuum mobiles! - Some historical background on alchemists - A letter Alchemists - The end - Tending to the fire - Pants, draughts and magic - Jake takes a risk - Flump - Bwa ha ha ... ha ha ha ha - Barnardus reveals his true nature - Pleading with his royalness - Hahaa! Success! Bow to your King! - At the castle - Kel in the pen, and in the dumps - Well, well, well - Kel grabs the Belt, and then... - Kel tries to turn the tide - A quick little siege - Jake is concerned, Barnardus is not - Respect Barnardus' Authority! - Chac! - There they are - A mission for Kel - They're gone Headsmen - The end - Jake's recovery - Another belthole won't work - Trying on the belt - There's an undertone of obsession in the conversation. - A quick explanation - Action! - The Green Knight's turn - It gets bloody - To the shed! - Tamlin's response to the challenge - Faeries' Tongues in Aspic - Above or below the salt? - There's something fishy about this Green Knight. - The Green Knight likes fun - The imposing figure of the Green Knight - Lord and master - Introductions, and a path - Futharkism - A change in the hag's mood - The explanatory power of an empty barrel - The bosom of young Abigail - The happy hag - Fallen in the kettle, eh? - Invincibility potion, redux - That must be a hag, mark my words - The King's men are willied - Ogre - The King's mind grinds towards a conclusion - There are more critters in the forest - How to get rid of annoying fairies - A big book about monsters and demons - Cookies! - The punctured barrel - The Chase! - The next morning - King Groy in love - Nabbing the Racing Goblin - Racing Goblins explained - Arrival at the inn - That farmer is irritating - It's knackered - In short, bleah. - The journey starts - Shteal the Green Knight'sh Belt - Testing the potion - Superglue is useful for everything! - Tamlin loses his bottle - The Golden Noose - Jake and Ragna have a moment - Tamlin hears an interesting tale - Creative management ideaas - Competition - The gang at work, for a change - Tax Gatherers - A word on King Groy - The Setting, Explained - It's driving me nuts! - Foreword to The Green Knight's Belt The Green Knight's Belt Next Last Author notes Malt, wort, dandelion leaves and slug slime Reinderdijkhuis on Feb. 12, 2008 Art by Remco PolmanI didn't know at the time that dandelion leaves, if fresh enough, were a perfectly edible salad vegetable. 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