Rogues of Clwyd Rhan First Prev - A stitch in time will do just fine! - Back to what passes for normality - Time travelers? - Wait, wait, wait, does that mean- - Vigdis and the doc would make a cute couple - This bit goes here - Suitably impressed or not? - Whoo-hoo-hoo! - Who? - Rásdondr's Frankenstein Complex - Action-packed filler - Rásdondr's Dragons The Prof and the Doctor - What became of the dress? - Grendel makes a splash. - Later, in the pub... - Did Vigdis help pass the time more quickly? - Oppressive, tomb-like silence! - Grendel gets obnoxious - The debate continues in the cafetaria - Embarrassment to Bleiz the Lutin - Slow down, prof! - Rásdondr poo-poos - What about other hybrids? - What became of the Green Knight? (3 of 3) - What became of the Green Knight? (2 of 3) - What became of the Green Knight? (1 of 3) - The red queen - Who was behind the laughing powder attack, and what was it meant to accomplish? Nitpicks! Answering readers' questions in comic form! - Baaawk! C'est fini! - Ragna acts like she's Kel' s mother! - What the cluck? - Bonfire and Clydesdale make their escape, and Kel and Jodoque are dispatched. - Even bureaucrats get fed up - Bringing in the suspects, and promoting to fill the gap - Contemplating history - The painting - Curving horizons - Nightly goings-on - Resolution - Vroom goes the faerie - A question popped - Felix velut porcus in sterco - Par-teh! - Ululation is always funny - Exposition and tension - Misery and sound effects - Twa magicians - Ka-Change! - Tentacles of love - Confusionation and splooshification - Disembodied conversation - It's radioactive green! - The belly of the beast - With a hey nonny nonny and a foom - Oh, it's gonna be the way I always thought it would be... - Signing in - Flight! - Verdicts begin - Drinking under the table - It's Homeric - Prof. Rásdondr sees the bright side of things - Fafnir breaks the taboo - Formaldehyde - Touching, huh? - The science explains - Lions, tigers and a great big elephant in the room - Rásdondr's testimony begins - Look at them eyes roll! Look at them roll! - Revisiting Contention - Goblin garment - An ugly encounter - That's always my defense too - Kel's testimony II - Kel's testimony I - Words fail - Muahaha - The plot congeals - Wythllew as visionary - Literary evidence - Outrageous outrage - Witch trial? - Drum roll, drum roll... - Cloaking spell - Kel's memories of things - An unusual gathering - O-nay omment-kay on the umps-stay - Dreaming of retirement already? - Going native - Grimborgsman/Maghreid - The Ghost Of Him Walks - Recap - Away from the court, for a while - Not much of a strategic thinker - Mud, and an important question - She's got a 'tood - Wythllew test-ti-FIES! - Wythllew to the fore! - Tattoos! Get'em while yer drunk! - Disturbing - Huh huh huh! - Off with his beard! - The Green Knight is asked to cooperate - Consternation over a severed head - Shrugging and preaching - The filth and the screaming - He's heard of courting rejection - Wheels falling off - Squiggly? - The direst phrase - This line was coming, you knew that. - Ottar's testimony begins - Any similarity to George W Bush is nearly coincidence - Lots of tasty DOOM! - Deliberation and drinks - Fafnir's Gambit - Expert Testimony 1. - Fading in and out - Fade into statue - Son of a bastard! - Swat! - Kangra's indictment - Spin Spin Spin - Endless, endless text! - Disputes within disputes - Isolde clashes with her esteemed opponent - Points of order, continued - Points of order - Lady Justice looks upon us all - Isolde sums up the work of the past few days - Ottar defuses the situation - Green balloons - The next day - Nighttime - It might be a Masonic ritual - Trippy! - Red Onion! - Suddenly, things are not going well - Isolde keeps up the good work - Arthur discusses his motives! - The lady is not for crowning - Offers and footnotes - Carved in the very wood! - Travel arrangements - All look same - Remember the office guy? - For kitten fans only - Slipping away - Turning up the heat - Good. Then we'll begin. - It *was* a real arrest! - We got her! - Mnuh - Something.. stirred - This spark, this needle, these maggots! - Things! - Maghreid's eagle eye - Once more into the CREEEAAAK! - Prepare for to - for to- - Sniffing and hacking - Lies! Damned lies! - Picasso with a hangover - Feiht reveals her motivation - Catch! - Chase! - It's hilahaha-hilahaha- harrowing. - Guilt trip - Gleeb! - Tuulen Ukko tuulen Akka, tuulen kaikki ristikansa - Debriefing - I got stripes, stripes around my shoulders... - Flunky say, flunky do - A little background on the Fae arts, and some swearing - It's done with mirrors Atra waxes theatrickal - A witch's cackle - If you went into the woods in 980... - City pillocks and skinny purple elf-things - Nostalgia-vision - DRE-A-M-T-I-ME! - Mbl, I say! Mbl! - Always keep a diamond in your head - Everybody do the st. Vitus dance - Abui's patience is tried again - Nothing clings like the past - Modeling - Effigy! - Tentacles and bureaucracy - You'd forgotten about the squid, hadn't you? - Never mess with a drunken gnome! - Meanwhile at the Lutin feast - Territorialism - This place is just like Bletchley Park, but with better wall art - Faerie wiretap - The art of diplomacy - Naive enthusiasm - The Eyeball of the beheld - Party at the Lutinses - A sweaty moment! - Wodeskovian? - A pleasant conversation - Cheese - It looks like an alehouse to me - Team Norla has a setback - That man is a sweet talker! - The itch with no name.. the itch that is in your pants. - Where they lead us... - Usesomehoodlessness - Haughtsome strengthsome - Talking Wythllew Blues - Eniac puts two and two together, and one thing in another. - Thok. - Corblimey, no! - Fading into Clarity - Dissent - Politicoes - Rough justice - At last, a wrestling move! - Give.... me... head... - Flute looting - Bonfire and Clydesdale - Post Mudball cooldown - Bring me the head of... bring me my head! - Pinching your nose from a distance - Norla as a chicken psychologist - Ze frensh roustair! - I see red - Interior monologue - Polite disagreement - Interior monologue, rudely interrupted - The scam explained - My manners are cutting off heads! - Hachettes Croisees on a field vert - The big green guy talks about knighthood. - At Last, the Green Knight! - Waking the witch, waking the faeries, waking the dogs and cats, the flies and rats. - Curled up on the floor, just like a baby boy... - Man of the forest - A little bit dotty - My body is my Grimborg - A Family Affair... - Ottar seems to have a cunning plan - Walking through the undergrowth - A twist in the tale, and a boot to the ass - The Douardess gets pushy - A cosy little chat - All-night close harmony baby wail concerto - All hell breaks loose - Green chickens, and a ham - Mudball! What's that like then? - The Bells of Hell - 'Bullshit' is such a useful word! - And the votes from the jury... - Let's dance! - Shoddy workmanship - Love Potion number 5 - A Scry in the Darkness - Robed in - Walk, don't fly - Crime scene investigation - Get a life, with the dreamer's dream - Thwack! - He must have been to the Ambassador's party - Cras! Cras! - That's an eerie thing to say for a Raven - Fearless leader my foot! - KRONK! - Oo-er. - Love those swirly whirly lights - Desorientation - The saddest creatures in the Gnomian Republic! - It must be the concussion - What a drrrrreadful ham! - Last resort... - Is it Vincent Price? - I turned into ... what? - Trouble has flame-red hair - Poof crash ding - At last... a rest - At Sinn Fae headquarters - And 'poof' he goes... - Gnomian ritual - Please, get on the slab - Backlash - They usually say that about weddings - Never piss off a duck - ... different somehow this time. - Norla's darkest hour... and how she copes with it - It gets sadder - Excsandas? - Do not eat the cookies - Have broom, will travel. - Bundle of laughs. - Kel misses her mom - Where Spin is Spun - Chew on this! - Heron are a kind of flying cow - Powdered wigs = hot sexx0rz - More legalese, and veiled threats - Legalese! - Altogether Upstairs, or Foole play she does? - Sidhe-Maghreid causes trouble - Crunchy Oatmeal - On the wings of cranes and heron - Red in tooth and claw - Bump in the night - Mystery Red Hat - Drama! - Grimborg - Back in the pub... - The lush separation engulfs them - Plans are made - Kangra of all people keeps a cool head... - Who-ho-ho-ho Shelterhue - More legal and political discourse - Political smoke and mirrors. But which is which? - A rustle, skepticism and a cunning plan - True, livid colors... green, to be precise - The gods are in their darkened halls, and all is right with the world... - They *never* look like axe murderers - The Blood Thickens... - Hi Ho, Hi Ho, it's off to work she goes - Kel's Rite of Serfdom, Night One - The Big Oaf! - Anise milk! It's an insult! - Sepia-toned, bitter-sweet meh-moh-rays - Into the Fi-aaaaaaaaaaaaargh! - A dam bursts. Or something like that. - Baaawl! - At last, an explanation! - More rancorous debate - Scene change! - They've been hating each other's guts for a long time - Wot, no Boursin? - It means "tail" - Sinn Fae - Clap me in irons! - A multi-colored, pint-sized mob - I- - Eyeball survey - Kel is shown around the Dyrtforrabyggern - A dreadful scenario - rrrrrrrrrrrrthoomtapocketapocketapocketa - It no trouble until drumming stop - Norla's livid - Uhm, wha? - Resistance is clearly futile - Impatience over late-itude - That moment just before the sewage factory hits the wind energy aggregate. - Getting dispensation - That's one way to keep your love life spicy... - Pranksterism is in the blood. - Get thee behind me! - Always remember what you've just got into bed with - Privacy and faeries don't mix. - From the mouths of alchemists... - Faerie wrangling 102. - Well.... OK. Just one cliché - Background info - Taking orders - Inn-evitably... - Floop - Welcome in penny chatter - Talking Grotto Voce - Inflationary faeries - Grotto grotto fandango - Rare Nordic Ethno Grooves - Runes. They're good for the soul. - Work, work work, with a hey and a ho and a nonny nonny - A Load of Old Cobblers' The Rite of Serfdom - A plain, yet foodsome repast III - A plain, yet foodsome repast II - A plain, yet foodsome repast I - Paradise regained... for some! II - Paradise regained... for some! I - Morph-lust sated - Oh, piffle! - Morph-lust and job-hunt II - Morph-lust and job-hunt I - Impulsive implosion, or impassiveness? - Impiety and impropriety! - Oththere saede to his hlaforde.... - Distribution - Disaugiation - Exploitation - Bovine faecalisation II - Bovine faecalisation I - Confirmation - Recuperation - Excorcism - Coercion - Running for it - Demonization - Towards Annihilation - Visitation - Third Generation - Undomestication - Malediction - Incineration - Exhumation - Manipulation - Admonition - Disinclination - Proposition - Apprehension - Dissimulation - Digression - Provocation - Disarticulation - Arbitration - Revelation - Argumentation - Captivation - Documentation - Contextualisation - Observation - Negotiation - Ritualization - Invecteration - Infestation - Nauseation - Inhumation - Evolution - Summonisation - Organisation - Hallucination? - Explication - Protestation - Raven's lowest ebb - Confronteration - Corneration - Reunion - Met with a raven, with eyes black as coal... - ... not a comedy troupe - Cool punk gear - An uncomfortable situation - More than just a source of drinks - Encampment - Ragna lays down the law. - Hildegard - That horse'll be coming out of a tin! - A misunderstanding is perpetuated - Reporting successes. - Alley-slipping - Balls - Flirtation - It's that hussy! Boo! Hiss! - Oog. - Gulp... - Femur and fury - Gloop. - Psychedelic Technicolor Berk - Scientific testing - Broccoli Cosmique! - Déjeuner sûr l'herbe - Shifty characters - Illicit research - Not the smallest pillock, nor the biggest, but a pillock and a half! - The saga begins - Fortification before exposition - Something shocking - Babies = yucky - Cameosity - Mudslope Sabbath - Talk to... well, some part of me that's actually part of me. - Exhaustification - Radiant... jewels - Decoy! - Red-headed trouble in a green bandana - It means "Hear Ye, Hear Ye" - A good outlook - Relational strain - Flashforward - Plunge - Shrug - Ears for the pulling - A turnout for the books! - The Elvish - 725 - 724 - 723 - 722 - 721 - 720 - 719 - 718 - 717 - 716 - 715 - Decision making process - A package with a message... and a half! - Racing Gnome - Fishful! - Steadhome found, hours belated - Backflash - Oh - Auteur dezes voelt zich altijd zo - Wythllew and Ottar don't get it - Leroukh makes the Understatement of the year 1001 - Aerial attack - The Corbies hire staff - Introducing Ottar! - Yule dinner, Corby style! - Harold - Mirror mirror on the wall - The Queen has had her say - Standoff-ish. - Actually, the Queen amuses herself - ... there is usually confusion. - Where there's smoke... - Woof! - Tempus Sugit - Fading from Grey - Hot Flash! - Carrying torches - Sparks will fly - Captive Elves - Singeing off a few years - Into the Fire! WAAAARGH! - Those baths, those awful baths! - Making do with what you have - "I'm a Librarian!" - "So go back to Libraria!" - The lived-in castle - Atra's sensibilities are put into question - Sticks and stones - Cave paintings - Not all women need a lot of time to pick their outfits - It rhymes! Groan... - Alligator guard - Potzenmacher? - Silent city - Can-do attitude! - Wyrmlike exposition - 'Off with her head!' - Conference - Vanishing act - It gets wyrder - Balls-to-the-wall witchcraft! - Bouncing and pinging - Skylla, meet Charibdis - Crossed-out commoners - Wythllew makes friends and influences people - The faerie and the earth-pig! - Wythllew's perspective - Meanwhile, Guðrún is having difficulties - Ethelfried's dilemma, and the certainties of her guest - Hmmmm... - Tamlin has had his say... - Recapitulation (again) and oh, there's a naked guy outside the window - Tamlin gets a keen if skeptical hearing - Ethelfried is pretty kurt. - More equal rules of engagement are established - Wythllew and Leroukh (cont.) - Wythllew is puzzled, and gets rooked - Something's going 'pop' in the forest. - Guðrún reaches her limits - Ethelfried has another guest - The Footman's Cold Shoulder - Tamlin's Progress - ... and settles in - A daily routine resumes... - Meanwhile at Leppiäinen's - Angry vicious Atra - The mood darkens... - Update - Proud parents! The Corby Tribe - Niiniis - Cooldown - Coming out of the sauna.... with a glow - ... - ... - ... - The Midden and the Windmill - Maternity - More of Sari's bedside manner - Ethelfried summons her courage - Zip - Ragna meets an old acquaintance - Hodie Mihi, Cras Tibi - Stressfest - Mrs. Leppiainen upholds the standard - Upheaval - Debriefing - Tamlin Officially Needs a Cold Bath - Sweat and Swelter Sauna Opera - Epilogue - Homecoming - Tentacles! - Facepalmeration and mufflification - The Dragon once again shows his unique perspective - Vegetation - Devourments - I've been reliably informed that the answer to that question is yes - Even the dragon propositions Kel! - Interlock - Eat your heart out, Niccolo Macchiavelli! - Thygmophilia - The hair never lies - Tamlin Reminisces - Gnomian intrigue continues - Guðrún, Ragna, Derek and JoBeth! - Booz'n Boots? - Kel drives a hard bargain - ... and you thought YOU had problems! - Big ol' dragon - Kel wakes up with all her clothes mysteriously still there - Evidence of absence - Crows can count, recognise people, and tell lies! - Rave... - Meanwhile, at the Corby Cottage - Bath and Beer - Dragon Dreams - Blinkies - Framed Matrix Crossover Day Seven - Framed Matrix Crossover Day Six - Framed Matrix Crossover Day Five - Framed Matrix Crossover Day Four - Framed Matrix Crossover Day Three - Framed Matrix Crossover Day Two - Framed Matrix Crossover Day one - Kel wakes from a dream, and then it gets weird. - Eldritch purple glow, but why a duck? - I'm a whack job, oh yeah. - Hypnagogic depression - Little Cottage in the Woods = not good - Mags thinks on her talons - Of course she does! Wait... - Oh! The door! - Nachos! - Got nails? - That's what you get... - Not quite a dogfight, but close. - No! Not the toothless gag! - Did I mention that you shouldn't mess with pregnant Kel? - Thrakattack! - It's probably because kittens can be vicious... - Bugger me! That's what the McGuffin looked like! - Don't mess with pregnant Kel! - She... wants... to... WHAT?? - She wants to WHAT? - The forecaster hadn't mentioned they'd be green - "Occasional" naked faerie? - As if Groy would ever adopt micro-taxes. - Quartz is a crystal... - Balls! Balls everywhere! - Where did I hear that phrase before? - Ahem. Woof. - When someone you know turns out to be a celebrity... - Psychedelic! - YOU! NEED! VOLUME! IN! THIS! JOB! - You always start with that. - Waking up Screaming - Herding! - Dolphins and Dragons - Epiloguosity - Endfulness - Confuzzelation. And alcoholisation. - Whatwhatwhatwhatwhatwhat? - The name of the Great Gourme is invoked. - ... and the flamethrower goes 'woof' - Kra and Kel, in one universe - Tempt the untemptable - We're glad too - Poor, poor Tamlin! - Here's a chance to make it, if we focus on your goal - Did I mention Jodoque's sudden interest in dung? - Panning out - Kccchhhk! - So. Doomed. - Ethnic slurs are used. Or something - Fine Gnomian hashish - Eat your heart out, J.R.R Tolkien! - Jay communicates - Jake's instinct for spotting naked women raises some more eyebrows - Jodoque's sudden interest in dung raises some eyebrows - What a boor! - What the flaming Futhark on a buttered stick? - Black and white haircut = bad news - Well, wouldn't you be skeptical? - Lunkhead redux - This is a joke, right? - Conspiracies are phat! - Why's she averting her eyes like that? - The Corby Clan - Epilogue - Monks are monky - It's quite allright. The chosen one always rejects the prophecy - Notsodevius - Campbell is a brand of soup. - Grovel - Clerical Underground - I suppose they're pretty lucky - Consternation and dearbordomification - ... and where did Dag get a huff? - Weren't they ALL unpleasant people? - Lingua Franca incomprehensabla - Wring that neck, baby - Urban sophisticate Tamlin - A mystical instrument? - It's a genuine Eriksson! - Bellyfeeling - Dag's fate - "Trusty" Leppiainen? - Atra rains on a parade - Log cabin plans Babble Banter Brouhaha - Oh God Oh God Oh God - Toothless Crocodile Pit - Who's the weakest link? - Mr. Whippy - Wrong, it was you - But but but... what are the rules? - Rrreveal - A surprise, of sorts - Pillars in a circle, uh-oh - Widescreen Jerome Bosch - Thwak! # 2 - Why not abandon all fear? - Thwak! #1 - An unwelcome guest The Weakest Lunkhead - Archery 2 Archery 1 - So what was it you wanted to tell me? - C'mere... closer... - You go first. No, you. - Ragna, Kel, there's something I've got to tell you - Who's the Visigoth? - You're back! - We bred trolls! For the souvenir market! - Tamlin? - Yeah? - I dunno... we just had a good gender balance going... - I demand that you put me down! - Come all ye fair and tender girls... - Found anything yet? - Not enough soap, I think. - Uh-Oh! It's getting unstable! - Ohshitohshitohshit! - Whaddayamean, you hate magic? - Er... thingies. Whatever. - Mandrake Root! Eye of Newt! Agar-Agar! Drool of Toad! - We'll brew a potion to sedate those two. - Mudbath! Carbuncle Cthulhu! - Guards! Hang Guðrún by her ears and lower her slowly into boiling oil! - Hahaa! Oh, no! - Oops! - Burn in hell, flea-infested mongrels! Bad! - It seems to be getting narrower here - Now! Let's go find that witch! - This place must be part of the ancestral Dönnerwetter castle. - We stood guard last night and watched it reassemble itself. - Look! I've found this really cool wolf fur! - Oooooooooh my head - But he's such a - such a- such a - I told you it was a hare-brained scheme! - Well, let's tuck in! - There's a light at that end... - It's built into the wall! - Shishishalashone! - Rap! Rap! Wha! - We'd love to stay, but someone should stay behind to guard the prisoners... - Shiver and tremble, fiends! The Baron of Fieffelfalsfaffel is here! - : ...As soon as our mistress signals the attack, I'll eat at least three of the ambassador's guards... - Hut! Hut! Hut! - And so I found this outpost where three dog-men were talking about - hey, I've got beer? - Yip! Wheeze! Pant! - Identify myself? My foot! - What's he waiting for? - Just don't do it while I'm around. - Looting, pillaging and ... the other thing - The firm axe of strong government - The what? - Am I glad to be out of the embassy for a bit! - Whoa! Kick-ass broom... - Castle Rimur - Heptokilononacenteduodecamerone - And now, I've always got plenty of staff at my disposal! - Bootlicking minions - One day, I reached an important insight... - There was a formula for creating wolfmen in a book - ...A bomb went off in the chimney! - It's got copies of the entire Vatican Collection - Take two parts goose spit and a spoonfull of wasp fat - Amazonian Aggressors Assault Assinine Ambassador - FFF: Ever the diplomat - Pant pant pant - This is not the career I had in mind! - So you think she is breaking through the mandrake spell? - I'll go to town and buy some fresh fish. - And so we conclude this special meeting with the recommendation... - Report from our spies, sir! - Kra, could you go and fetch us a few bars of soap - Would you mind if I wrung the Ambassador's neck first? - The Ambassador tarries... - The representative is a tea-totaller. - What the hell do you think you are doing? - It could even be Guðrún herself - Welcome all to the first strategy meeting... - Ragnarok! You look positively radiant today! - Good morning! - Hey, it was the fish, okay? - Combing hair - Arrooo! - You're teaching an ELF? - A Gnome will never be an elf. - Are you quite finished with your stupid games? - I was taught by - Mthpfh! - Pondering powerful magic - Regrettable misunderstanding, amice - I am Ragnarok, flap - Ambassador, thrilled, thwip - Ghni, whine, introductions - Tweeting birds, sorry, WAP! - You and your pals have an exciting life though - You know, we almost got arrested here once - Hogsbludderfenchurch fair - Would you like a broom-ride home? - So what's so tricky about juggling penguins? - Toads. Legs. Mandrake. Four - Oh yeah, the other visitor! - Sanderon, you old poisoner! - Mudslope Festival canceled due to bright sunny weather - I see someone up there! Hello? - The biggest tourist attraction - Traveling - And of course, I did have some training in the Craft - Kiss - Look very carefully - no problem! - An elf? - The local microclimate is full of surprises - Hmmm... how about a trip? - Get thee behind me, cold front! - Dux explicit - Honest work, a fee, and some time away from Clwyd-Rhan - Duke Henry explains his concerns - The high-born Lady Trollop! - Bah! Inedible - Pickings are slim again. - Miss! Thbbpp! - Bloodthirsty berserks who - FLATS! - Clwyd-Rhan's winters are harsh! - Intro page 4 - Intro page 3 - Intro page 2 - Gudrun - Epilogue - 'Hey, nice necklace' - don't you just want to hug and cuddle him? - Kel brandishes that thing better than she does a sword! - She's been socked! - If you want to imagine the future, imagine a foot... - Pentagram and double-pentagram - Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeevil! - tranquility interrupted by mayhem - Wait, wait, wait - Brrrrrrrrrrreasts! Brrrrrrrrrrrrreasts!!!!!! - I just like to say "trollop" - I want movable ears like that - At least distracting Scarabus is easy - I mean, look at you! - Setting the agenda - aw... - Looking o the bright side... - That also didn't look pleasant - Literature search - ... - Kick when she's down - That's gotta hurt! - Smackdown! - Ha! - Tomatenprimaten - Kel and Atra are back from the Sabbat - Striking at the root of the problem - The others have found the tree. - It looks like Wythllew has been out in the heat for too long - Tamlin is unwilsome, and Damonk is stuck in his comic. - The wood can get pretty scary at this time of year. - It's... green. Very... green. - Jodoque waxes prophetic - A search is started - Ragna is puzzled over Tamlin abandoning his ale. - Some boaring stuff interrupted by magic - Tamlin tries to get some work done. - Muggy, Sweaty heat! - Wythllew changes her tune but not her idiom, alas - Broil my haunches and call me Rumpelstilt! - Controntation! Hoodwin, etc. - Poit - Wrath and displeasure! - Toxic waste is conveniently dumped - Scarabus revises his plans - Seethe - Not quite a cannibal-and-missionary gag, but close. - Pig-boy robs a shop. - The legend of the earth-pig - Jodoque makes a strategic withdrawal - Jodoque does not like the look of the Earth-Pig at all - Bookspace! - The Earth-Pig's origins explained - It' s a ... whatever! - Scarabus The Faerie and the Earth-Pig - Musicking 4 - Musicking 3 - Musicking 2 Musicking 1 King's Drama - the story we're skipping - CRAC! - It's like a ticker tape parade, but without the ticker tape - A warm welcome - One more zap, and... - One more thing remains to be done! - Plant fight! - The mess is, indeed, considerable - Gnome meets gnome - Overgrowth - Vlap, again! - She's awfully smug - Introducing Kangra - Delicate flowers - Okidokey - Phew! - A WHAT landed on the temple? - Contention has reached the Goblin King's castle - We can't leave the prisoners here like this! - Er... VLAP! - Pentagrams for freedom! - It's making me nervous, it give me the hives - If the Great Gourm isn't satisfied, I'm not satisfied - Jake's fate worse than death - The rear-end ramrod? Oh dear... - Enter Ghrgugha - Iron fetters-the bastards! - Sour grapes, disappointingly small diamonds, and the torture dungeon - The Goblin King's tasteful parties - That lucky, lucky bastard! - Ruling with a copper fist - The mother of all bad puns is here. - Suggestions of a vegetarian diet, and the breaking up of tents. - Attacking Ghrghuha - Woe and Alas - Uncouth - The Great Gourm will not be fobbed off - The ugliest mongrel! - Ah, there she is - Can you spot the Kel? - Sodoffsodoffsodoff - Feed the cyclops already! - Zinngggg! - Globbo the cyclops will join you - The spoils of war - Kel hates her outfit, and mistrusts the Gnomes - A change of clothes - The Gnome wins. - One for the transformation fans - Flipping the bird - Trouble with jewelry - Moving into plot - Gnomian transports explained - Ragna seeks enlightenment - Put me down! - Finally, some certainty about Tamlin's species - Bleary-eyed gnomes - Hyperspace, or something - Occult forces and outdated pop culture - Kel is struck by a realisation - A Thunderous applause - Announcements and suspense building - The lutist Jakob Henriksson - Tamlin is happy as a Tamlin in beer - Kel awakes from sweet slumber - Come on hear dear girl, have some soup - Morning - How to extract food from gullible vendors - The disaster continues - Rain and mud! - Tamlin's woes continue - Beerspace - Invisible Frog, take 1 - It's invitation-only! - Tamlin likes the easy life - Rose - Hot damn and potato - Watermelon - With what, indeed - Tamlin's new shape - Refresher course crack - Mad as a hatter! Ha ha! - Hatter? What hatter? - A peaceful scene and a crime The Stone of Contention - The End - Them mammals sure are lucky - A wild, chemise-clad chase follows - ...and another 25 - Kel goes for broke - That'll be twenty rosaries - Sanctuary - A wild chase, because we haven't seen those before. - Whoa! The New Sheriff - The End - There's nothing to it. Banzai! - ... but those other guys are still outside! - Kel prevents disaster - In her own unique manner, Kel makes a discovery - Malt, wort, dandelion leaves and slug slime - Process - A tour of the premises, if you'd be so kind, sir? - The village of Dogwhat Brewery - What will I tell the others? - You uuuuuuuused meeeee! - How do you manage with all that excess baggage? - What lurks beneath that hideous exterior? - Jewelry and sweetness - Go on then, hero! - I remember it well... - We've got no choice... - The next morning - That night is The Night of the Dragon (thunderclap) - One night each year, it's safe to walk through the forests of Clwyd-Rhan alone. Night of the Dragon - A new proclamation - And that would have been that, if not... - The feast - The journey back - Atra and Kel consider the plot holes - Tweet, tweet, infodump - The King is slow of understanding - At last, the condemned man stirs no more - The announcer's prose turns somewhat purple - Dona Eis Requiem - Thwack and also bleargh - Pie jesu domine - In which we play spot the rat - In which paté is made and wuks are improvised - In which the word sundry is used. Also trifle - Moral dilemmas can drive a girl nuts - Two men - Kel prowls the night - Tamlin has an imp of punning in him - I wouldn't leave that bed either - The Poet basks in the King's brilliance - A feeble excuse - Maybe maybe maybe - Tamlin appears to come to his senses, or does he? - Divers and sundry solutions for blah blah blah - Joachim Piepelmeyer the Younger - Spawn of the devil! - Ribbit, ribbit - An urgent request not to disturb the faerie - Load up! Load up! - Commander Alvarez - Deranged cackling - Stinkhorns! In my wrath I hadn't snuffled them - Who dares vex Wythllew? - Gnomes' feet! - What a washout! - Drool of toad and foamy conversation - Discreet reconnoitry - Kel is given reason to grumble - Atra's in the dumps - The not very classy inn - Slippety slip - Kel's senses tingle - Bed, bath and booze - The high road and the low - King of the mountain - The King's logic - A royal decision - Tent trouble and bad jokes - Not a lot of wisdom here - Whose pillar is bigger than whose? - Claudius the pillar saint and his buddy - The Pillar Field - Uncouth character and arid plain - Scaramouche scaramouche will you do the hemp hornpipe - Goldmuskateller and shinee. - Booze. It makes you drunk. - The helpful barman - Beer! - Tamlin orders a round - Trust will not go unpunished - Packing for the trip - The even more unctuous doodler - The unctuous rhymer - Revelation - The hanged man - Hell is other people getting eggs broken over them - Talk about opportunity knocking - Tamlin ponders and dithers. Then he has a vision - Tamlin has a bright idea - The King's missive is read - The skull of a racing goblin is thick - The net is sprung - How to nab a racing goblin - Ragnarok's pit - Trails of the Rogues - The Death Warrant: Frontispiece and introduction The Death Warrant - Dénouement - The fiend's manners become a topic of debate - A hare-brained scheme is hatched Devil - All's well that ends well for someone. - Hefigna Hafagnagna Hunfougnon - Just when Atra realises what she needs... - Onions, brie, menthol.. - Jake puts another customer in his pipe and smokes him - Tough scientific nuts are being cracked. - Atra also has a question. - Objectives, means and loot - Lead, lead lead, we like to sell lots of lead! - Meanwhile, a scam is being hatched - This year's conference is in the woods! - Damn those annoying perpetuum mobiles! - Some historical background on alchemists - A letter Alchemists - The end - Tending to the fire - Pants, draughts and magic - Jake takes a risk - Flump - Bwa ha ha ... ha ha ha ha - Barnardus reveals his true nature - Pleading with his royalness - Hahaa! Success! Bow to your King! - At the castle - Kel in the pen, and in the dumps - Well, well, well - Kel grabs the Belt, and then... - Kel tries to turn the tide - A quick little siege - Jake is concerned, Barnardus is not - Respect Barnardus' Authority! - Chac! - There they are - A mission for Kel - They're gone Headsmen - The end - Jake's recovery - Another belthole won't work - Trying on the belt - There's an undertone of obsession in the conversation. - A quick explanation - Action! - The Green Knight's turn - It gets bloody - To the shed! - Tamlin's response to the challenge - Faeries' Tongues in Aspic - Above or below the salt? - There's something fishy about this Green Knight. - The Green Knight likes fun - The imposing figure of the Green Knight - Lord and master - Introductions, and a path - Futharkism - A change in the hag's mood - The explanatory power of an empty barrel - The bosom of young Abigail - The happy hag - Fallen in the kettle, eh? - Invincibility potion, redux - That must be a hag, mark my words - The King's men are willied - Ogre - The King's mind grinds towards a conclusion - There are more critters in the forest - How to get rid of annoying fairies - A big book about monsters and demons - Cookies! - The punctured barrel - The Chase! - The next morning - King Groy in love - Nabbing the Racing Goblin - Racing Goblins explained - Arrival at the inn - That farmer is irritating - It's knackered - In short, bleah. - The journey starts - Shteal the Green Knight'sh Belt - Testing the potion - Superglue is useful for everything! - Tamlin loses his bottle - The Golden Noose - Jake and Ragna have a moment - Tamlin hears an interesting tale - Creative management ideaas - Competition - The gang at work, for a change - Tax Gatherers - A word on King Groy - The Setting, Explained - It's driving me nuts! - Foreword to The Green Knight's Belt The Green Knight's Belt Next Last First Prev - A stitch in time will do just fine! - Back to what passes for normality - Time travelers? - Wait, wait, wait, does that mean- - Vigdis and the doc would make a cute couple - This bit goes here - Suitably impressed or not? - Whoo-hoo-hoo! - Who? - Rásdondr's Frankenstein Complex - Action-packed filler - Rásdondr's Dragons The Prof and the Doctor - What became of the dress? - Grendel makes a splash. - Later, in the pub... - Did Vigdis help pass the time more quickly? - Oppressive, tomb-like silence! - Grendel gets obnoxious - The debate continues in the cafetaria - Embarrassment to Bleiz the Lutin - Slow down, prof! - Rásdondr poo-poos - What about other hybrids? - What became of the Green Knight? (3 of 3) - What became of the Green Knight? (2 of 3) - What became of the Green Knight? (1 of 3) - The red queen - Who was behind the laughing powder attack, and what was it meant to accomplish? Nitpicks! Answering readers' questions in comic form! - Baaawk! C'est fini! - Ragna acts like she's Kel' s mother! - What the cluck? - Bonfire and Clydesdale make their escape, and Kel and Jodoque are dispatched. - Even bureaucrats get fed up - Bringing in the suspects, and promoting to fill the gap - Contemplating history - The painting - Curving horizons - Nightly goings-on - Resolution - Vroom goes the faerie - A question popped - Felix velut porcus in sterco - Par-teh! - Ululation is always funny - Exposition and tension - Misery and sound effects - Twa magicians - Ka-Change! - Tentacles of love - Confusionation and splooshification - Disembodied conversation - It's radioactive green! - The belly of the beast - With a hey nonny nonny and a foom - Oh, it's gonna be the way I always thought it would be... - Signing in - Flight! - Verdicts begin - Drinking under the table - It's Homeric - Prof. Rásdondr sees the bright side of things - Fafnir breaks the taboo - Formaldehyde - Touching, huh? - The science explains - Lions, tigers and a great big elephant in the room - Rásdondr's testimony begins - Look at them eyes roll! Look at them roll! - Revisiting Contention - Goblin garment - An ugly encounter - That's always my defense too - Kel's testimony II - Kel's testimony I - Words fail - Muahaha - The plot congeals - Wythllew as visionary - Literary evidence - Outrageous outrage - Witch trial? - Drum roll, drum roll... - Cloaking spell - Kel's memories of things - An unusual gathering - O-nay omment-kay on the umps-stay - Dreaming of retirement already? - Going native - Grimborgsman/Maghreid - The Ghost Of Him Walks - Recap - Away from the court, for a while - Not much of a strategic thinker - Mud, and an important question - She's got a 'tood - Wythllew test-ti-FIES! - Wythllew to the fore! - Tattoos! Get'em while yer drunk! - Disturbing - Huh huh huh! - Off with his beard! - The Green Knight is asked to cooperate - Consternation over a severed head - Shrugging and preaching - The filth and the screaming - He's heard of courting rejection - Wheels falling off - Squiggly? - The direst phrase - This line was coming, you knew that. - Ottar's testimony begins - Any similarity to George W Bush is nearly coincidence - Lots of tasty DOOM! - Deliberation and drinks - Fafnir's Gambit - Expert Testimony 1. - Fading in and out - Fade into statue - Son of a bastard! - Swat! - Kangra's indictment - Spin Spin Spin - Endless, endless text! - Disputes within disputes - Isolde clashes with her esteemed opponent - Points of order, continued - Points of order - Lady Justice looks upon us all - Isolde sums up the work of the past few days - Ottar defuses the situation - Green balloons - The next day - Nighttime - It might be a Masonic ritual - Trippy! - Red Onion! - Suddenly, things are not going well - Isolde keeps up the good work - Arthur discusses his motives! - The lady is not for crowning - Offers and footnotes - Carved in the very wood! - Travel arrangements - All look same - Remember the office guy? - For kitten fans only - Slipping away - Turning up the heat - Good. Then we'll begin. - It *was* a real arrest! - We got her! - Mnuh - Something.. stirred - This spark, this needle, these maggots! - Things! - Maghreid's eagle eye - Once more into the CREEEAAAK! - Prepare for to - for to- - Sniffing and hacking - Lies! Damned lies! - Picasso with a hangover - Feiht reveals her motivation - Catch! - Chase! - It's hilahaha-hilahaha- harrowing. - Guilt trip - Gleeb! - Tuulen Ukko tuulen Akka, tuulen kaikki ristikansa - Debriefing - I got stripes, stripes around my shoulders... - Flunky say, flunky do - A little background on the Fae arts, and some swearing - It's done with mirrors Atra waxes theatrickal - A witch's cackle - If you went into the woods in 980... - City pillocks and skinny purple elf-things - Nostalgia-vision - DRE-A-M-T-I-ME! - Mbl, I say! Mbl! - Always keep a diamond in your head - Everybody do the st. Vitus dance - Abui's patience is tried again - Nothing clings like the past - Modeling - Effigy! - Tentacles and bureaucracy - You'd forgotten about the squid, hadn't you? - Never mess with a drunken gnome! - Meanwhile at the Lutin feast - Territorialism - This place is just like Bletchley Park, but with better wall art - Faerie wiretap - The art of diplomacy - Naive enthusiasm - The Eyeball of the beheld - Party at the Lutinses - A sweaty moment! - Wodeskovian? - A pleasant conversation - Cheese - It looks like an alehouse to me - Team Norla has a setback - That man is a sweet talker! - The itch with no name.. the itch that is in your pants. - Where they lead us... - Usesomehoodlessness - Haughtsome strengthsome - Talking Wythllew Blues - Eniac puts two and two together, and one thing in another. - Thok. - Corblimey, no! - Fading into Clarity - Dissent - Politicoes - Rough justice - At last, a wrestling move! - Give.... me... head... - Flute looting - Bonfire and Clydesdale - Post Mudball cooldown - Bring me the head of... bring me my head! - Pinching your nose from a distance - Norla as a chicken psychologist - Ze frensh roustair! - I see red - Interior monologue - Polite disagreement - Interior monologue, rudely interrupted - The scam explained - My manners are cutting off heads! - Hachettes Croisees on a field vert - The big green guy talks about knighthood. - At Last, the Green Knight! - Waking the witch, waking the faeries, waking the dogs and cats, the flies and rats. - Curled up on the floor, just like a baby boy... - Man of the forest - A little bit dotty - My body is my Grimborg - A Family Affair... - Ottar seems to have a cunning plan - Walking through the undergrowth - A twist in the tale, and a boot to the ass - The Douardess gets pushy - A cosy little chat - All-night close harmony baby wail concerto - All hell breaks loose - Green chickens, and a ham - Mudball! What's that like then? - The Bells of Hell - 'Bullshit' is such a useful word! - And the votes from the jury... - Let's dance! - Shoddy workmanship - Love Potion number 5 - A Scry in the Darkness - Robed in - Walk, don't fly - Crime scene investigation - Get a life, with the dreamer's dream - Thwack! - He must have been to the Ambassador's party - Cras! Cras! - That's an eerie thing to say for a Raven - Fearless leader my foot! - KRONK! - Oo-er. - Love those swirly whirly lights - Desorientation - The saddest creatures in the Gnomian Republic! - It must be the concussion - What a drrrrreadful ham! - Last resort... - Is it Vincent Price? - I turned into ... what? - Trouble has flame-red hair - Poof crash ding - At last... a rest - At Sinn Fae headquarters - And 'poof' he goes... - Gnomian ritual - Please, get on the slab - Backlash - They usually say that about weddings - Never piss off a duck - ... different somehow this time. - Norla's darkest hour... and how she copes with it - It gets sadder - Excsandas? - Do not eat the cookies - Have broom, will travel. - Bundle of laughs. - Kel misses her mom - Where Spin is Spun - Chew on this! - Heron are a kind of flying cow - Powdered wigs = hot sexx0rz - More legalese, and veiled threats - Legalese! - Altogether Upstairs, or Foole play she does? - Sidhe-Maghreid causes trouble - Crunchy Oatmeal - On the wings of cranes and heron - Red in tooth and claw - Bump in the night - Mystery Red Hat - Drama! - Grimborg - Back in the pub... - The lush separation engulfs them - Plans are made - Kangra of all people keeps a cool head... - Who-ho-ho-ho Shelterhue - More legal and political discourse - Political smoke and mirrors. But which is which? - A rustle, skepticism and a cunning plan - True, livid colors... green, to be precise - The gods are in their darkened halls, and all is right with the world... - They *never* look like axe murderers - The Blood Thickens... - Hi Ho, Hi Ho, it's off to work she goes - Kel's Rite of Serfdom, Night One - The Big Oaf! - Anise milk! It's an insult! - Sepia-toned, bitter-sweet meh-moh-rays - Into the Fi-aaaaaaaaaaaaargh! - A dam bursts. Or something like that. - Baaawl! - At last, an explanation! - More rancorous debate - Scene change! - They've been hating each other's guts for a long time - Wot, no Boursin? - It means "tail" - Sinn Fae - Clap me in irons! - A multi-colored, pint-sized mob - I- - Eyeball survey - Kel is shown around the Dyrtforrabyggern - A dreadful scenario - rrrrrrrrrrrrthoomtapocketapocketapocketa - It no trouble until drumming stop - Norla's livid - Uhm, wha? - Resistance is clearly futile - Impatience over late-itude - That moment just before the sewage factory hits the wind energy aggregate. - Getting dispensation - That's one way to keep your love life spicy... - Pranksterism is in the blood. - Get thee behind me! - Always remember what you've just got into bed with - Privacy and faeries don't mix. - From the mouths of alchemists... - Faerie wrangling 102. - Well.... OK. Just one cliché - Background info - Taking orders - Inn-evitably... - Floop - Welcome in penny chatter - Talking Grotto Voce - Inflationary faeries - Grotto grotto fandango - Rare Nordic Ethno Grooves - Runes. They're good for the soul. - Work, work work, with a hey and a ho and a nonny nonny - A Load of Old Cobblers' The Rite of Serfdom - A plain, yet foodsome repast III - A plain, yet foodsome repast II - A plain, yet foodsome repast I - Paradise regained... for some! II - Paradise regained... for some! I - Morph-lust sated - Oh, piffle! - Morph-lust and job-hunt II - Morph-lust and job-hunt I - Impulsive implosion, or impassiveness? - Impiety and impropriety! - Oththere saede to his hlaforde.... - Distribution - Disaugiation - Exploitation - Bovine faecalisation II - Bovine faecalisation I - Confirmation - Recuperation - Excorcism - Coercion - Running for it - Demonization - Towards Annihilation - Visitation - Third Generation - Undomestication - Malediction - Incineration - Exhumation - Manipulation - Admonition - Disinclination - Proposition - Apprehension - Dissimulation - Digression - Provocation - Disarticulation - Arbitration - Revelation - Argumentation - Captivation - Documentation - Contextualisation - Observation - Negotiation - Ritualization - Invecteration - Infestation - Nauseation - Inhumation - Evolution - Summonisation - Organisation - Hallucination? - Explication - Protestation - Raven's lowest ebb - Confronteration - Corneration - Reunion - Met with a raven, with eyes black as coal... - ... not a comedy troupe - Cool punk gear - An uncomfortable situation - More than just a source of drinks - Encampment - Ragna lays down the law. - Hildegard - That horse'll be coming out of a tin! - A misunderstanding is perpetuated - Reporting successes. - Alley-slipping - Balls - Flirtation - It's that hussy! Boo! Hiss! - Oog. - Gulp... - Femur and fury - Gloop. - Psychedelic Technicolor Berk - Scientific testing - Broccoli Cosmique! - Déjeuner sûr l'herbe - Shifty characters - Illicit research - Not the smallest pillock, nor the biggest, but a pillock and a half! - The saga begins - Fortification before exposition - Something shocking - Babies = yucky - Cameosity - Mudslope Sabbath - Talk to... well, some part of me that's actually part of me. - Exhaustification - Radiant... jewels - Decoy! - Red-headed trouble in a green bandana - It means "Hear Ye, Hear Ye" - A good outlook - Relational strain - Flashforward - Plunge - Shrug - Ears for the pulling - A turnout for the books! - The Elvish - 725 - 724 - 723 - 722 - 721 - 720 - 719 - 718 - 717 - 716 - 715 - Decision making process - A package with a message... and a half! - Racing Gnome - Fishful! - Steadhome found, hours belated - Backflash - Oh - Auteur dezes voelt zich altijd zo - Wythllew and Ottar don't get it - Leroukh makes the Understatement of the year 1001 - Aerial attack - The Corbies hire staff - Introducing Ottar! - Yule dinner, Corby style! - Harold - Mirror mirror on the wall - The Queen has had her say - Standoff-ish. - Actually, the Queen amuses herself - ... there is usually confusion. - Where there's smoke... - Woof! - Tempus Sugit - Fading from Grey - Hot Flash! - Carrying torches - Sparks will fly - Captive Elves - Singeing off a few years - Into the Fire! WAAAARGH! - Those baths, those awful baths! - Making do with what you have - "I'm a Librarian!" - "So go back to Libraria!" - The lived-in castle - Atra's sensibilities are put into question - Sticks and stones - Cave paintings - Not all women need a lot of time to pick their outfits - It rhymes! Groan... - Alligator guard - Potzenmacher? - Silent city - Can-do attitude! - Wyrmlike exposition - 'Off with her head!' - Conference - Vanishing act - It gets wyrder - Balls-to-the-wall witchcraft! - Bouncing and pinging - Skylla, meet Charibdis - Crossed-out commoners - Wythllew makes friends and influences people - The faerie and the earth-pig! - Wythllew's perspective - Meanwhile, Guðrún is having difficulties - Ethelfried's dilemma, and the certainties of her guest - Hmmmm... - Tamlin has had his say... - Recapitulation (again) and oh, there's a naked guy outside the window - Tamlin gets a keen if skeptical hearing - Ethelfried is pretty kurt. - More equal rules of engagement are established - Wythllew and Leroukh (cont.) - Wythllew is puzzled, and gets rooked - Something's going 'pop' in the forest. - Guðrún reaches her limits - Ethelfried has another guest - The Footman's Cold Shoulder - Tamlin's Progress - ... and settles in - A daily routine resumes... - Meanwhile at Leppiäinen's - Angry vicious Atra - The mood darkens... - Update - Proud parents! The Corby Tribe - Niiniis - Cooldown - Coming out of the sauna.... with a glow - ... - ... - ... - The Midden and the Windmill - Maternity - More of Sari's bedside manner - Ethelfried summons her courage - Zip - Ragna meets an old acquaintance - Hodie Mihi, Cras Tibi - Stressfest - Mrs. Leppiainen upholds the standard - Upheaval - Debriefing - Tamlin Officially Needs a Cold Bath - Sweat and Swelter Sauna Opera - Epilogue - Homecoming - Tentacles! - Facepalmeration and mufflification - The Dragon once again shows his unique perspective - Vegetation - Devourments - I've been reliably informed that the answer to that question is yes - Even the dragon propositions Kel! - Interlock - Eat your heart out, Niccolo Macchiavelli! - Thygmophilia - The hair never lies - Tamlin Reminisces - Gnomian intrigue continues - Guðrún, Ragna, Derek and JoBeth! - Booz'n Boots? - Kel drives a hard bargain - ... and you thought YOU had problems! - Big ol' dragon - Kel wakes up with all her clothes mysteriously still there - Evidence of absence - Crows can count, recognise people, and tell lies! - Rave... - Meanwhile, at the Corby Cottage - Bath and Beer - Dragon Dreams - Blinkies - Framed Matrix Crossover Day Seven - Framed Matrix Crossover Day Six - Framed Matrix Crossover Day Five - Framed Matrix Crossover Day Four - Framed Matrix Crossover Day Three - Framed Matrix Crossover Day Two - Framed Matrix Crossover Day one - Kel wakes from a dream, and then it gets weird. - Eldritch purple glow, but why a duck? - I'm a whack job, oh yeah. - Hypnagogic depression - Little Cottage in the Woods = not good - Mags thinks on her talons - Of course she does! Wait... - Oh! The door! - Nachos! - Got nails? - That's what you get... - Not quite a dogfight, but close. - No! Not the toothless gag! - Did I mention that you shouldn't mess with pregnant Kel? - Thrakattack! - It's probably because kittens can be vicious... - Bugger me! That's what the McGuffin looked like! - Don't mess with pregnant Kel! - She... wants... to... WHAT?? - She wants to WHAT? - The forecaster hadn't mentioned they'd be green - "Occasional" naked faerie? - As if Groy would ever adopt micro-taxes. - Quartz is a crystal... - Balls! Balls everywhere! - Where did I hear that phrase before? - Ahem. Woof. - When someone you know turns out to be a celebrity... - Psychedelic! - YOU! NEED! VOLUME! IN! THIS! JOB! - You always start with that. - Waking up Screaming - Herding! - Dolphins and Dragons - Epiloguosity - Endfulness - Confuzzelation. And alcoholisation. - Whatwhatwhatwhatwhatwhat? - The name of the Great Gourme is invoked. - ... and the flamethrower goes 'woof' - Kra and Kel, in one universe - Tempt the untemptable - We're glad too - Poor, poor Tamlin! - Here's a chance to make it, if we focus on your goal - Did I mention Jodoque's sudden interest in dung? - Panning out - Kccchhhk! - So. Doomed. - Ethnic slurs are used. Or something - Fine Gnomian hashish - Eat your heart out, J.R.R Tolkien! - Jay communicates - Jake's instinct for spotting naked women raises some more eyebrows - Jodoque's sudden interest in dung raises some eyebrows - What a boor! - What the flaming Futhark on a buttered stick? - Black and white haircut = bad news - Well, wouldn't you be skeptical? - Lunkhead redux - This is a joke, right? - Conspiracies are phat! - Why's she averting her eyes like that? - The Corby Clan - Epilogue - Monks are monky - It's quite allright. The chosen one always rejects the prophecy - Notsodevius - Campbell is a brand of soup. - Grovel - Clerical Underground - I suppose they're pretty lucky - Consternation and dearbordomification - ... and where did Dag get a huff? - Weren't they ALL unpleasant people? - Lingua Franca incomprehensabla - Wring that neck, baby - Urban sophisticate Tamlin - A mystical instrument? - It's a genuine Eriksson! - Bellyfeeling - Dag's fate - "Trusty" Leppiainen? - Atra rains on a parade - Log cabin plans Babble Banter Brouhaha - Oh God Oh God Oh God - Toothless Crocodile Pit - Who's the weakest link? - Mr. Whippy - Wrong, it was you - But but but... what are the rules? - Rrreveal - A surprise, of sorts - Pillars in a circle, uh-oh - Widescreen Jerome Bosch - Thwak! # 2 - Why not abandon all fear? - Thwak! #1 - An unwelcome guest The Weakest Lunkhead - Archery 2 Archery 1 - So what was it you wanted to tell me? - C'mere... closer... - You go first. No, you. - Ragna, Kel, there's something I've got to tell you - Who's the Visigoth? - You're back! - We bred trolls! For the souvenir market! - Tamlin? - Yeah? - I dunno... we just had a good gender balance going... - I demand that you put me down! - Come all ye fair and tender girls... - Found anything yet? - Not enough soap, I think. - Uh-Oh! It's getting unstable! - Ohshitohshitohshit! - Whaddayamean, you hate magic? - Er... thingies. Whatever. - Mandrake Root! Eye of Newt! Agar-Agar! Drool of Toad! - We'll brew a potion to sedate those two. - Mudbath! Carbuncle Cthulhu! - Guards! Hang Guðrún by her ears and lower her slowly into boiling oil! - Hahaa! Oh, no! - Oops! - Burn in hell, flea-infested mongrels! Bad! - It seems to be getting narrower here - Now! Let's go find that witch! - This place must be part of the ancestral Dönnerwetter castle. - We stood guard last night and watched it reassemble itself. - Look! I've found this really cool wolf fur! - Oooooooooh my head - But he's such a - such a- such a - I told you it was a hare-brained scheme! - Well, let's tuck in! - There's a light at that end... - It's built into the wall! - Shishishalashone! - Rap! Rap! Wha! - We'd love to stay, but someone should stay behind to guard the prisoners... - Shiver and tremble, fiends! The Baron of Fieffelfalsfaffel is here! - : ...As soon as our mistress signals the attack, I'll eat at least three of the ambassador's guards... - Hut! Hut! Hut! - And so I found this outpost where three dog-men were talking about - hey, I've got beer? - Yip! Wheeze! Pant! - Identify myself? My foot! - What's he waiting for? - Just don't do it while I'm around. - Looting, pillaging and ... the other thing - The firm axe of strong government - The what? - Am I glad to be out of the embassy for a bit! - Whoa! Kick-ass broom... - Castle Rimur - Heptokilononacenteduodecamerone - And now, I've always got plenty of staff at my disposal! - Bootlicking minions - One day, I reached an important insight... - There was a formula for creating wolfmen in a book - ...A bomb went off in the chimney! - It's got copies of the entire Vatican Collection - Take two parts goose spit and a spoonfull of wasp fat - Amazonian Aggressors Assault Assinine Ambassador - FFF: Ever the diplomat - Pant pant pant - This is not the career I had in mind! - So you think she is breaking through the mandrake spell? - I'll go to town and buy some fresh fish. - And so we conclude this special meeting with the recommendation... - Report from our spies, sir! - Kra, could you go and fetch us a few bars of soap - Would you mind if I wrung the Ambassador's neck first? - The Ambassador tarries... - The representative is a tea-totaller. - What the hell do you think you are doing? - It could even be Guðrún herself - Welcome all to the first strategy meeting... - Ragnarok! You look positively radiant today! - Good morning! - Hey, it was the fish, okay? - Combing hair - Arrooo! - You're teaching an ELF? - A Gnome will never be an elf. - Are you quite finished with your stupid games? - I was taught by - Mthpfh! - Pondering powerful magic - Regrettable misunderstanding, amice - I am Ragnarok, flap - Ambassador, thrilled, thwip - Ghni, whine, introductions - Tweeting birds, sorry, WAP! - You and your pals have an exciting life though - You know, we almost got arrested here once - Hogsbludderfenchurch fair - Would you like a broom-ride home? - So what's so tricky about juggling penguins? - Toads. Legs. Mandrake. Four - Oh yeah, the other visitor! - Sanderon, you old poisoner! - Mudslope Festival canceled due to bright sunny weather - I see someone up there! Hello? - The biggest tourist attraction - Traveling - And of course, I did have some training in the Craft - Kiss - Look very carefully - no problem! - An elf? - The local microclimate is full of surprises - Hmmm... how about a trip? - Get thee behind me, cold front! - Dux explicit - Honest work, a fee, and some time away from Clwyd-Rhan - Duke Henry explains his concerns - The high-born Lady Trollop! - Bah! Inedible - Pickings are slim again. - Miss! Thbbpp! - Bloodthirsty berserks who - FLATS! - Clwyd-Rhan's winters are harsh! - Intro page 4 - Intro page 3 - Intro page 2 - Gudrun - Epilogue - 'Hey, nice necklace' - don't you just want to hug and cuddle him? - Kel brandishes that thing better than she does a sword! - She's been socked! - If you want to imagine the future, imagine a foot... - Pentagram and double-pentagram - Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeevil! - tranquility interrupted by mayhem - Wait, wait, wait - Brrrrrrrrrrreasts! Brrrrrrrrrrrrreasts!!!!!! - I just like to say "trollop" - I want movable ears like that - At least distracting Scarabus is easy - I mean, look at you! - Setting the agenda - aw... - Looking o the bright side... - That also didn't look pleasant - Literature search - ... - Kick when she's down - That's gotta hurt! - Smackdown! - Ha! - Tomatenprimaten - Kel and Atra are back from the Sabbat - Striking at the root of the problem - The others have found the tree. - It looks like Wythllew has been out in the heat for too long - Tamlin is unwilsome, and Damonk is stuck in his comic. - The wood can get pretty scary at this time of year. - It's... green. Very... green. - Jodoque waxes prophetic - A search is started - Ragna is puzzled over Tamlin abandoning his ale. - Some boaring stuff interrupted by magic - Tamlin tries to get some work done. - Muggy, Sweaty heat! - Wythllew changes her tune but not her idiom, alas - Broil my haunches and call me Rumpelstilt! - Controntation! Hoodwin, etc. - Poit - Wrath and displeasure! - Toxic waste is conveniently dumped - Scarabus revises his plans - Seethe - Not quite a cannibal-and-missionary gag, but close. - Pig-boy robs a shop. - The legend of the earth-pig - Jodoque makes a strategic withdrawal - Jodoque does not like the look of the Earth-Pig at all - Bookspace! - The Earth-Pig's origins explained - It' s a ... whatever! - Scarabus The Faerie and the Earth-Pig - Musicking 4 - Musicking 3 - Musicking 2 Musicking 1 King's Drama - the story we're skipping - CRAC! - It's like a ticker tape parade, but without the ticker tape - A warm welcome - One more zap, and... - One more thing remains to be done! - Plant fight! - The mess is, indeed, considerable - Gnome meets gnome - Overgrowth - Vlap, again! - She's awfully smug - Introducing Kangra - Delicate flowers - Okidokey - Phew! - A WHAT landed on the temple? - Contention has reached the Goblin King's castle - We can't leave the prisoners here like this! - Er... VLAP! - Pentagrams for freedom! - It's making me nervous, it give me the hives - If the Great Gourm isn't satisfied, I'm not satisfied - Jake's fate worse than death - The rear-end ramrod? Oh dear... - Enter Ghrgugha - Iron fetters-the bastards! - Sour grapes, disappointingly small diamonds, and the torture dungeon - The Goblin King's tasteful parties - That lucky, lucky bastard! - Ruling with a copper fist - The mother of all bad puns is here. - Suggestions of a vegetarian diet, and the breaking up of tents. - Attacking Ghrghuha - Woe and Alas - Uncouth - The Great Gourm will not be fobbed off - The ugliest mongrel! - Ah, there she is - Can you spot the Kel? - Sodoffsodoffsodoff - Feed the cyclops already! - Zinngggg! - Globbo the cyclops will join you - The spoils of war - Kel hates her outfit, and mistrusts the Gnomes - A change of clothes - The Gnome wins. - One for the transformation fans - Flipping the bird - Trouble with jewelry - Moving into plot - Gnomian transports explained - Ragna seeks enlightenment - Put me down! - Finally, some certainty about Tamlin's species - Bleary-eyed gnomes - Hyperspace, or something - Occult forces and outdated pop culture - Kel is struck by a realisation - A Thunderous applause - Announcements and suspense building - The lutist Jakob Henriksson - Tamlin is happy as a Tamlin in beer - Kel awakes from sweet slumber - Come on hear dear girl, have some soup - Morning - How to extract food from gullible vendors - The disaster continues - Rain and mud! - Tamlin's woes continue - Beerspace - Invisible Frog, take 1 - It's invitation-only! - Tamlin likes the easy life - Rose - Hot damn and potato - Watermelon - With what, indeed - Tamlin's new shape - Refresher course crack - Mad as a hatter! Ha ha! - Hatter? What hatter? - A peaceful scene and a crime The Stone of Contention - The End - Them mammals sure are lucky - A wild, chemise-clad chase follows - ...and another 25 - Kel goes for broke - That'll be twenty rosaries - Sanctuary - A wild chase, because we haven't seen those before. - Whoa! The New Sheriff - The End - There's nothing to it. Banzai! - ... but those other guys are still outside! - Kel prevents disaster - In her own unique manner, Kel makes a discovery - Malt, wort, dandelion leaves and slug slime - Process - A tour of the premises, if you'd be so kind, sir? - The village of Dogwhat Brewery - What will I tell the others? - You uuuuuuuused meeeee! - How do you manage with all that excess baggage? - What lurks beneath that hideous exterior? - Jewelry and sweetness - Go on then, hero! - I remember it well... - We've got no choice... - The next morning - That night is The Night of the Dragon (thunderclap) - One night each year, it's safe to walk through the forests of Clwyd-Rhan alone. Night of the Dragon - A new proclamation - And that would have been that, if not... - The feast - The journey back - Atra and Kel consider the plot holes - Tweet, tweet, infodump - The King is slow of understanding - At last, the condemned man stirs no more - The announcer's prose turns somewhat purple - Dona Eis Requiem - Thwack and also bleargh - Pie jesu domine - In which we play spot the rat - In which paté is made and wuks are improvised - In which the word sundry is used. Also trifle - Moral dilemmas can drive a girl nuts - Two men - Kel prowls the night - Tamlin has an imp of punning in him - I wouldn't leave that bed either - The Poet basks in the King's brilliance - A feeble excuse - Maybe maybe maybe - Tamlin appears to come to his senses, or does he? - Divers and sundry solutions for blah blah blah - Joachim Piepelmeyer the Younger - Spawn of the devil! - Ribbit, ribbit - An urgent request not to disturb the faerie - Load up! Load up! - Commander Alvarez - Deranged cackling - Stinkhorns! In my wrath I hadn't snuffled them - Who dares vex Wythllew? - Gnomes' feet! - What a washout! - Drool of toad and foamy conversation - Discreet reconnoitry - Kel is given reason to grumble - Atra's in the dumps - The not very classy inn - Slippety slip - Kel's senses tingle - Bed, bath and booze - The high road and the low - King of the mountain - The King's logic - A royal decision - Tent trouble and bad jokes - Not a lot of wisdom here - Whose pillar is bigger than whose? - Claudius the pillar saint and his buddy - The Pillar Field - Uncouth character and arid plain - Scaramouche scaramouche will you do the hemp hornpipe - Goldmuskateller and shinee. - Booze. It makes you drunk. - The helpful barman - Beer! - Tamlin orders a round - Trust will not go unpunished - Packing for the trip - The even more unctuous doodler - The unctuous rhymer - Revelation - The hanged man - Hell is other people getting eggs broken over them - Talk about opportunity knocking - Tamlin ponders and dithers. Then he has a vision - Tamlin has a bright idea - The King's missive is read - The skull of a racing goblin is thick - The net is sprung - How to nab a racing goblin - Ragnarok's pit - Trails of the Rogues - The Death Warrant: Frontispiece and introduction The Death Warrant - Dénouement - The fiend's manners become a topic of debate - A hare-brained scheme is hatched Devil - All's well that ends well for someone. - Hefigna Hafagnagna Hunfougnon - Just when Atra realises what she needs... - Onions, brie, menthol.. - Jake puts another customer in his pipe and smokes him - Tough scientific nuts are being cracked. - Atra also has a question. - Objectives, means and loot - Lead, lead lead, we like to sell lots of lead! - Meanwhile, a scam is being hatched - This year's conference is in the woods! - Damn those annoying perpetuum mobiles! - Some historical background on alchemists - A letter Alchemists - The end - Tending to the fire - Pants, draughts and magic - Jake takes a risk - Flump - Bwa ha ha ... ha ha ha ha - Barnardus reveals his true nature - Pleading with his royalness - Hahaa! Success! Bow to your King! - At the castle - Kel in the pen, and in the dumps - Well, well, well - Kel grabs the Belt, and then... - Kel tries to turn the tide - A quick little siege - Jake is concerned, Barnardus is not - Respect Barnardus' Authority! - Chac! - There they are - A mission for Kel - They're gone Headsmen - The end - Jake's recovery - Another belthole won't work - Trying on the belt - There's an undertone of obsession in the conversation. - A quick explanation - Action! - The Green Knight's turn - It gets bloody - To the shed! - Tamlin's response to the challenge - Faeries' Tongues in Aspic - Above or below the salt? - There's something fishy about this Green Knight. - The Green Knight likes fun - The imposing figure of the Green Knight - Lord and master - Introductions, and a path - Futharkism - A change in the hag's mood - The explanatory power of an empty barrel - The bosom of young Abigail - The happy hag - Fallen in the kettle, eh? - Invincibility potion, redux - That must be a hag, mark my words - The King's men are willied - Ogre - The King's mind grinds towards a conclusion - There are more critters in the forest - How to get rid of annoying fairies - A big book about monsters and demons - Cookies! - The punctured barrel - The Chase! - The next morning - King Groy in love - Nabbing the Racing Goblin - Racing Goblins explained - Arrival at the inn - That farmer is irritating - It's knackered - In short, bleah. - The journey starts - Shteal the Green Knight'sh Belt - Testing the potion - Superglue is useful for everything! - Tamlin loses his bottle - The Golden Noose - Jake and Ragna have a moment - Tamlin hears an interesting tale - Creative management ideaas - Competition - The gang at work, for a change - Tax Gatherers - A word on King Groy - The Setting, Explained - It's driving me nuts! - Foreword to The Green Knight's Belt The Green Knight's Belt Next Last Author notes Revisiting Contention Reinderdijkhuis on July 17, 2012 Originally published on November 1, 2004. 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