Shades of Gray

Author notes

465 - Boyfriends

avsaroke

on Aug. 3, 2018

As you’ve probably figured out by now, Year 2 was largely meant to be about the dynamics within the group. Very slice of life stuff and probably a lot of sweet and funny moments. Cutting it down to the very basics though, we’re just keeping track of major changes in relationships.

Jovi and Tikav were a slow build. Their friendship gave Tikav someone to learn to trust and care for and relax around, and it gave Jovi a chance to learn to love Tikav as a person and a friend before loving him as a partner.

In a lot of ways, Tikav is what Jovi was looking for from Ten. Someone to take care of and protect. Jovi has a need to be needed by his partners. If it’s just a fling, he’s much less discerning, but with a long-term boyfriend he definitely needs to feel like he’s a provider and a protector.

As for Tikav, I don’t want anyone to take his being transexual as the cause of his anxiety and other issues. Tikav had a tough childhood with unloving parents, and as he said, he basically went running from them straight into the arms of an equally abusive boyfriend. The people he’s allowed closest to him in life and loved the most were also the ones that hurt him the most.

This group of friends and Jovi in particular are giving him his first real sense of being wanted and loved and valued with no catches.

Being trans isn’t always or even usually a big deal among kilm, but Tikav has a fear of abandonment and he’s very aware of Jovi’s reputation on the station. He was worried that when he told Jovi he wasn’t 100% surgically transitioned, that Jovi would lose interest and leave him.

The sense of relief Tikav felt when Jovi accepted him and loved him no matter what parts he has, and no matter what baggage and needs he has would have been overwhelming.