First Prev - Hiatus Notice - Text Adventure 49: comedically overreact and retaliate with extreme prejudice - Text Adventure 48: tell him off for making a guest do his work - Text Adventure 47: interrupt bert - Text Adventure 46: be beatrice - Text Adventure 45: who is it? - Text Adventure 44: look around for tits - Text Adventure 43: tell us more, uncle Herbert! - Text Adventure 42: reminisce harder - Text Adventure 41: reminisce on those awkward years - Text Adventure 40: curl into a ball of misery - Text Adventure 39: send him off to the kitchen with the buckets and your blessings - Text Adventure 38: run away while he's wet! - Text Adventure 37: run away while he's distracted! - Text Adventure 36: hide in a bucket - Text Adventure 35: break his face - Text Adventure 34: OH FUCK NO - Text Adventure 33: OH NO - Text Adventure 32: slug the fucker! turn that silly grin upside down! - Text Adventure 31: throw the bastard into the well - Text Adventure 30: ignore him - Text Adventure 29: run - Text Adventure 28: excuse yourself and run to the well - Text Adventure 27: strike conversation with guest - Text Adventure 26: greet guest - Text Adventure 25: go out to the well - Text adventure 24: grab bucket - Text Adventure 23: use the water in bucket to wash your washing bowl - Text Adventure 22: enter kitchen - Text Adventure 21: leave room and go down to the kitchen - Text Adventure 20: open chests - Text Adventure 19: wear guest chamber pot as a hat - Text Adventure 18: enter guestroom - Text Adventure 17: snoop around the other rooms - Text Adventure 16: kick the table - Text Adventure 15: karate chop the table - Text Adventure 14: kick your way epically out the door - Text Adventure 13: continue as planned - Text Adventure 12: toss washing bowl's contents outside the window - Text Adventure 11: wear chamber pot as hat - Text Adventure 10: drink from washing bowl - Text Adventure 9: wash face in washing bowl - Text Adventure 8: wash chamber pot in washing bowl - Text Adventure 7: wear chamber pot as hat - Text Adventure 6: douse the bastard! - Text Adventure 5: wear chamber pot as hat - Text Adventure 4: pee in chamber pot - Text Adventure 3: make a rope out of bedsheets and rappel out the window while wearing chamber pot as a hat - Text Adventure 2: wear chamber pot as a hat TEXT ADVENTURE TIME: Herbert's Side Story - Donation gift! - a glorious future - old age catching up to his ears - waiting for the news - in a wheelbarrow - The Holy Birch makes its appearance - they're happy twits at least - angry mumbling - but I swear I'm totally fine - like a loon - hold on... to the night... - tripping balls - topsy-turvy - tripping - fire and brimstone - general overreacting - PLOFT. - not much repenting going on here - the long and winding path - it's shedding! D: - scare tactics - someone overheard something incriminating - suddenly, an authority on historical architecture - make-believe saint - epic pontification - and now... - hey look, it's that old guy - the inn sure looks different from how it was in the first chapter - badoumph! - a heartwarming gift - INCOMING BOOBS - someone is a matchmaker - girls making plans - cleaning up - he's got a mustache - chop chop chop - never freeeeeet - what you do when you're half-asleep - It's that dead rat taste in your tongue - Chapter 7 - Community Service - Beatrice's Plans - Beatrice's Plans - Beatrice's Plans - Beatrice's Plans - Beatrice's Plans - Beatrice's Plans - Beatrice's Plans - Beatrice's Plans - Beatrice's Plans - Beatrice's Plans - Beatrice's Plans - Beatrice's Plans - Beatrice's Plans Interlude 1 - Beatrice's Plans - sympathy for the devil - guess who's back - a choir of demons are singing - lies, all lies - the party is over - not exactly as planned - didn't see this coming - cunning use of musical transitions - oooh... - kidnapping! - moving on... - how to spoil fond memories - riverdance - philosopout - procrastination sketch - a long time ago, in a booth far, far away... - oh my god the thingie with the cool thingies and... oh! - the party queen has arrived, commence partying - under a red sunset - racking up debts - I bet your pants - linguistic subtleties - nearly as think as you drunk I am - caught slacking - Live free, party hard - FUCK YEAR CAKE - you're a very very bad bad girl, bea - capitalism! - counting your victories - special touch - sue him - customer service at its best - Autumn! Chapter 6 - Harvest Festival - erasing the evidence - Chipper - First prize! - sweet as sugar - shaggy dog brick - bringing sexy back - sneak sneak sneak away - hammerman! - clunk - OHSHI part 2 - AAAALWAYS - he means he feels fuzzy - You just know this stuff when you're this old - censoring the wrong word - Heeeeeiki, heiki! - a hellish sight - getting to the point - OHSHI - any moment now... - He still fails to see the point - it's like doing community service - grammar nazi - Leaves fall - tripping all over the place - casting doubt on his POWERS - you are a hole on the floor - *ominous drop* - consider this a love tap - she's looking in the wrong place - trout pout - knowledge = power - the inheritance cycle - All for one - she knows how to lay it on - yes, it was Theo - WHA-- - Sometimes a cauldron is just for cooking - Merry Christmas! - So yeah. Chapter 5 - Beatrice - Wait, what? - Visiting Miss Boobies - don't poke - ooooooh... - actually they think he's pretty pathetic - burrrrrrn - dun dun DUN - no place like home - constipated - I told you it was a decoy - this is totally a decoy - RUN AWAAAAY - overkill - the conclusion is obvious - an understandable reaction - Y hallo thar - dun dun duuuuuun - totally did not see this coming - mine is an evil laugh - a face only a mother can love - Uh-oh. - DAAAAAASH - Suck my rose - NOT THE SHAWL DD: - A bunch of trees - It's logical! - CHANSU DA! - kicking imaginary pebbles - A completely unexpected reaction - A slave driver, wink wink - SAXOPHOOOOOONE - Watch me, guys! - Now in chibi-vision - No one gives a fuck - Frustration management Chapter 4 - Bewitched - rocking all night long - You only wish your rpg would start like this - SHE'SLEAKING - Good morning, sunshine - PRIORITIES - They're both upset :/ - You woke the neighbors up! - Duh. - Paternal fury gives you ninja powers - This be my evil shine-in-the-dark grin - AXED! - Have fun. - Snarrrrrrrrrrlrawwwwwwwwrrrrr. - Didn't see that coming. - Wait, what happened between the last page and this one? - Oggling! - Look, BREASTS! - Yeah, the mass. - Now all they need is a boombox - GAH MY EYE - God Knows - Courage - Below the belt - A hook to the chin! - Round 1: fight - starting a job - Plan 1 of 1: success? - When he said work, he didn't mean work - Happy Rainbow Aura - Hunting for a job - Look at the pretty candles - Wounded pride - Upstanding demon - Playing meek - He's a little possessive - The impact of love - I is for inbreeding - Some new guy Chapter 3 - A helping hand - Wasn't in the script - Kinda like a marble - Gone with the wind - just like in highschool - If only there were playstations back then - Off in Dreamscape - Sounds logical - Jerry and Terry - Careful with that door - Missing some teeth - The arrival - Making Business - NO WAI - Inspiration - Misunderstanding - Or did he? - Friends - Whiner - Heart Failure - Vibes at you! - I'm feeling blue, baby Chapter 02 - You don't talk about Puke - Character sheet - Herbert - The Silly Updates Series - 01 - NOT UPDATE - Silence, finally! - CrashBang - In Hoc Signo Vincis - The devil is a nerd - Design pro - BLAM! - It does not compute - Dumbass :D - Exposition of Doom III - the revenge - Exposition of Doom II - Exposition of Doom - ....or maybe not - Perfectly safe - A Friendly guy - Thank you - Punt! - Like scat porn, only worse - However did you know? - Not enough arms - No, not a festival - Title Page Chapter 01 On the way back Next Last First Prev - Hiatus Notice - Text Adventure 49: comedically overreact and retaliate with extreme prejudice - Text Adventure 48: tell him off for making a guest do his work - Text Adventure 47: interrupt bert - Text Adventure 46: be beatrice - Text Adventure 45: who is it? - Text Adventure 44: look around for tits - Text Adventure 43: tell us more, uncle Herbert! - Text Adventure 42: reminisce harder - Text Adventure 41: reminisce on those awkward years - Text Adventure 40: curl into a ball of misery - Text Adventure 39: send him off to the kitchen with the buckets and your blessings - Text Adventure 38: run away while he's wet! - Text Adventure 37: run away while he's distracted! - Text Adventure 36: hide in a bucket - Text Adventure 35: break his face - Text Adventure 34: OH FUCK NO - Text Adventure 33: OH NO - Text Adventure 32: slug the fucker! turn that silly grin upside down! - Text Adventure 31: throw the bastard into the well - Text Adventure 30: ignore him - Text Adventure 29: run - Text Adventure 28: excuse yourself and run to the well - Text Adventure 27: strike conversation with guest - Text Adventure 26: greet guest - Text Adventure 25: go out to the well - Text adventure 24: grab bucket - Text Adventure 23: use the water in bucket to wash your washing bowl - Text Adventure 22: enter kitchen - Text Adventure 21: leave room and go down to the kitchen - Text Adventure 20: open chests - Text Adventure 19: wear guest chamber pot as a hat - Text Adventure 18: enter guestroom - Text Adventure 17: snoop around the other rooms - Text Adventure 16: kick the table - Text Adventure 15: karate chop the table - Text Adventure 14: kick your way epically out the door - Text Adventure 13: continue as planned - Text Adventure 12: toss washing bowl's contents outside the window - Text Adventure 11: wear chamber pot as hat - Text Adventure 10: drink from washing bowl - Text Adventure 9: wash face in washing bowl - Text Adventure 8: wash chamber pot in washing bowl - Text Adventure 7: wear chamber pot as hat - Text Adventure 6: douse the bastard! - Text Adventure 5: wear chamber pot as hat - Text Adventure 4: pee in chamber pot - Text Adventure 3: make a rope out of bedsheets and rappel out the window while wearing chamber pot as a hat - Text Adventure 2: wear chamber pot as a hat TEXT ADVENTURE TIME: Herbert's Side Story - Donation gift! - a glorious future - old age catching up to his ears - waiting for the news - in a wheelbarrow - The Holy Birch makes its appearance - they're happy twits at least - angry mumbling - but I swear I'm totally fine - like a loon - hold on... to the night... - tripping balls - topsy-turvy - tripping - fire and brimstone - general overreacting - PLOFT. - not much repenting going on here - the long and winding path - it's shedding! D: - scare tactics - someone overheard something incriminating - suddenly, an authority on historical architecture - make-believe saint - epic pontification - and now... - hey look, it's that old guy - the inn sure looks different from how it was in the first chapter - badoumph! - a heartwarming gift - INCOMING BOOBS - someone is a matchmaker - girls making plans - cleaning up - he's got a mustache - chop chop chop - never freeeeeet - what you do when you're half-asleep - It's that dead rat taste in your tongue - Chapter 7 - Community Service - Beatrice's Plans - Beatrice's Plans - Beatrice's Plans - Beatrice's Plans - Beatrice's Plans - Beatrice's Plans - Beatrice's Plans - Beatrice's Plans - Beatrice's Plans - Beatrice's Plans - Beatrice's Plans - Beatrice's Plans - Beatrice's Plans Interlude 1 - Beatrice's Plans - sympathy for the devil - guess who's back - a choir of demons are singing - lies, all lies - the party is over - not exactly as planned - didn't see this coming - cunning use of musical transitions - oooh... - kidnapping! - moving on... - how to spoil fond memories - riverdance - philosopout - procrastination sketch - a long time ago, in a booth far, far away... - oh my god the thingie with the cool thingies and... oh! - the party queen has arrived, commence partying - under a red sunset - racking up debts - I bet your pants - linguistic subtleties - nearly as think as you drunk I am - caught slacking - Live free, party hard - FUCK YEAR CAKE - you're a very very bad bad girl, bea - capitalism! - counting your victories - special touch - sue him - customer service at its best - Autumn! Chapter 6 - Harvest Festival - erasing the evidence - Chipper - First prize! - sweet as sugar - shaggy dog brick - bringing sexy back - sneak sneak sneak away - hammerman! - clunk - OHSHI part 2 - AAAALWAYS - he means he feels fuzzy - You just know this stuff when you're this old - censoring the wrong word - Heeeeeiki, heiki! - a hellish sight - getting to the point - OHSHI - any moment now... - He still fails to see the point - it's like doing community service - grammar nazi - Leaves fall - tripping all over the place - casting doubt on his POWERS - you are a hole on the floor - *ominous drop* - consider this a love tap - she's looking in the wrong place - trout pout - knowledge = power - the inheritance cycle - All for one - she knows how to lay it on - yes, it was Theo - WHA-- - Sometimes a cauldron is just for cooking - Merry Christmas! - So yeah. Chapter 5 - Beatrice - Wait, what? - Visiting Miss Boobies - don't poke - ooooooh... - actually they think he's pretty pathetic - burrrrrrn - dun dun DUN - no place like home - constipated - I told you it was a decoy - this is totally a decoy - RUN AWAAAAY - overkill - the conclusion is obvious - an understandable reaction - Y hallo thar - dun dun duuuuuun - totally did not see this coming - mine is an evil laugh - a face only a mother can love - Uh-oh. - DAAAAAASH - Suck my rose - NOT THE SHAWL DD: - A bunch of trees - It's logical! - CHANSU DA! - kicking imaginary pebbles - A completely unexpected reaction - A slave driver, wink wink - SAXOPHOOOOOONE - Watch me, guys! - Now in chibi-vision - No one gives a fuck - Frustration management Chapter 4 - Bewitched - rocking all night long - You only wish your rpg would start like this - SHE'SLEAKING - Good morning, sunshine - PRIORITIES - They're both upset :/ - You woke the neighbors up! - Duh. - Paternal fury gives you ninja powers - This be my evil shine-in-the-dark grin - AXED! - Have fun. - Snarrrrrrrrrrlrawwwwwwwwrrrrr. - Didn't see that coming. - Wait, what happened between the last page and this one? - Oggling! - Look, BREASTS! - Yeah, the mass. - Now all they need is a boombox - GAH MY EYE - God Knows - Courage - Below the belt - A hook to the chin! - Round 1: fight - starting a job - Plan 1 of 1: success? - When he said work, he didn't mean work - Happy Rainbow Aura - Hunting for a job - Look at the pretty candles - Wounded pride - Upstanding demon - Playing meek - He's a little possessive - The impact of love - I is for inbreeding - Some new guy Chapter 3 - A helping hand - Wasn't in the script - Kinda like a marble - Gone with the wind - just like in highschool - If only there were playstations back then - Off in Dreamscape - Sounds logical - Jerry and Terry - Careful with that door - Missing some teeth - The arrival - Making Business - NO WAI - Inspiration - Misunderstanding - Or did he? - Friends - Whiner - Heart Failure - Vibes at you! - I'm feeling blue, baby Chapter 02 - You don't talk about Puke - Character sheet - Herbert - The Silly Updates Series - 01 - NOT UPDATE - Silence, finally! - CrashBang - In Hoc Signo Vincis - The devil is a nerd - Design pro - BLAM! - It does not compute - Dumbass :D - Exposition of Doom III - the revenge - Exposition of Doom II - Exposition of Doom - ....or maybe not - Perfectly safe - A Friendly guy - Thank you - Punt! - Like scat porn, only worse - However did you know? - Not enough arms - No, not a festival - Title Page Chapter 01 On the way back Next Last Author notes cleaning up Elanor Pam on Feb. 8, 2011 For medieval standards, Bert is actually quite fussy and tidy.Too bad that water has been sitting there for a week. 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