You DO NOT covet a Dr. Pepper that is not your own. If you so much as TOUCH a man's Doctor, they will BEAT YOU WITH A GOD DAMNED HAMMER. And, you will die. Oh, yes. You will. Stroke your ego, all you want. Comb it's fur. You may think you are tough, and will survive the blow, but you are not that strong. No one is. Hell hath no fury like the hammer of a thirsty dude.
Some people have a lot of nerve, and will bring on this wrath, to pique their curiosity, but you are all smart, because you have not. Your state of living proves that you haven't done this.
If you must try, then do it. But keep it far away from me, and my ilk, for you shall summon forth the fury of the mightiest lion. The most monstrous fish of the vast ocean. The great Behemoth of the plains. You will bring to this earth, a creature of hatred, and rancor, that will rip it's way out of the earth, with lashing claws, stomp it's way through all the cities, hills, and forests, leaving a trail of destruction in it's wake until it reaches your home, tears the roof off, and looks into your eyes, infiltrates your soul, and learns all your feelings, thoughts, and secrets, then deafens you with it's mighty roar. It would then proceed to draw a great and terrible sword, and and swing it at you with such epic force that it rends the earth in two.
Now, are you really going to cause the end of the world over a soda? Grow up. Don't steal. Pull out your own dollar, walk to the machine, and buy your own damn soda.
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