This is - obviously - not Tarot, it's the kind of fortune-telling cards gypsies use. I didn't have access to a deck of Tarot cards when I did this; so this is why. I don't like these cards at all. I don't like what they say. Yet somehow they seem strangely plausible. I don't trust it as much as I would trust Tarot, so once I have access to a deck of Tarot I will repeat this process, but for the time being it will have to do. *** I tell myself it is all going right, just peachy; but deep down I feel hurt and thoroughly annoyed with you. You tell yourself we are very best friends and we will be together forever; but inside your heart you are sick of me. So I end up acting all regressive (indeed I talked to you with something like the mentality I had as a child… trusting you at all, for example, was like that) and you act a lot more serious and mature than you otherwise would; but we are trying in vain and in the end we will both end up sad and alone. *** Am I supposed to like this? I don't think so. So I skipped lunch today and went out into the garden instead and ate berries until my lips and fingers were so stained with berry juice that I looked like some Transsylvanian noble. This wasn't anything like a solution, but - oh well.
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