Tank Quest

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Episode 7: A Family Establishment

Torrie

on March 19, 2009

True story. Although not quite so bad; I went for a bike ride in North Yorkshire one day and it (predictably) started pouring it down, so I pulled over at the nearest pub. I went in, and asked if they knew of any nearby shops. The landlady asks me what I wanted, and I told her I needed a coke, some crisps and AAA bateries for my lights. She stared at me as if I'd demanded some caviar, and said "yer won't find no batteries round 'ere. This is a fam'ly place! What d'yer want 'em for?" so I told her. She stared at me, and said "Yer cycling? But eets raining!" so I nodded (duh) and smiled and said "yep." then a guy comes in and stands behind me, not saying anything, and the landlady says to me "yer can't stop there. That's where Fred stops." So I moved. Then she says "why can't yer buy a coke and crisps in here?" so I replied "because I need it in a bottle so I can drink it along the way." She looked at me as if I'd just declared the moon was made of butterflies. So I left before I was sarcastic to anyone, and cycled along to the next, equally tiny village, where everyone was really friendly and helpful and where there was a shop which didn't sell bottles of cola or batteries but I didn't mind because no-one had a go at me for standing in Fred's spot.