Author notes

Attack of the Johns

ClannfearRock

on April 13, 2019

The Gully Hollow Gulch is merely a place in the deadly Lithopedion valley. The denizens of that place are called the 'Johns'. These 'Johns' consist of people who have been trapped in the void where time is mutated, who have just been there too long. Because Hula Hoop, having become well advanced in her 'trade', had provided herself a paradigm in which the void came into being, and she herself, was the void, and the void was her. Don't ask! And since the void warps time as we know it, what goes on in the void is not to be determined by the laws of physics outside the void. Meaning, Hula Hoop has been plying her 'trade' for literally centuries untold. Thus, collecting many captives in the void throughout the centuries. And, although time works differently within the void, there still comes a point in a captives duration when they've been there too long, they simply turn feral. And so, being a feral, they begin to wander aimlessly through the pink void, consuming the various mushrooms around them, which befuddles their senses, and enervates their more base functions, they become one of these 'Johns', who are nothing more than de-evolved beings who of course, according to Aristotles laws of de-evolution, will become heavier in the top part of their body, eventually causing them to hunch down in which case, the arms of the being will de-evolve into forelimbs. Thus, the human, becoming an animal. And increasing in this process, thus being limited in movement, the creature therefore devolves into a plant. And these are the various fauna and flora which we see throughout the void. So you see, the mushrooms in which the 'Johns' consume, are nothing more than their de-evolved brethren, who also were trapped in the void at some point, having de-evolved completely, have become mushrooms to be consumed by newer 'Johns'. Oh what a dreadful cycle. Who can put an end to this cyclical misery? Can our heroes withstand the great number of Johns assaulting them? Or will they become yet more, casualties of the void? Will Hula Hoop ever learn to be a lady? Join us again next time! Of the delirium of the doomed, in the void that is Hula Hoop!