Author notes

Pizza

pinkbatmax

on Dec. 2, 2010

Yes, I know, when I post this there should be candles lit on the menorah, but hey, they just went camping, so let's just say it's still summer-ish? Um….

Shoulda thought this through. Enjoy.


OH! And comments for the last strip!


Quick reminder guys…. This site is for all ages of reader, so I generally will ask for quotes with ‘curse words’ to be edited or removed. I don’t mind the curses over at Eve’s Apple, but we have some young ones reading The Princess, and I want parents, teachers, and caregivers to have confidence letting their children read this page

On to responses!

@beraxilla: Yep. Some people are capable of making huge leaps forward into unknown territory; but I think for most of us, we take small, tentative steps first. So it is with Sarah’s mom. It’s small, but it’s meaningful

@houseofmuses: Absolutely. A parent has dreams, aspirations, expectations, and anticipations about their child before she or he is born. When a child is going through something like this, a lot of these die. A parent has to grieve. It doesn’t mean that wonderful new things aren’t now opening for the child, but the parent first has to let go of the old before they can embrace new possibilities. Add to this the fact that Mom is now finding her child as a minority much more prone to being assaulted, killed, or suicide, and she doesn’t have to be a bigot to worry what this new identity means for her child. She may mistakenly think she can ‘forbid’ the child this identity and therein save her. Eventually she may come to realize this is impossible, and in this way, sees her parental duty to protect her child seem to slip away. This, too, will likely create a period of mourning. The good news is that mourning usually does not last forever, and when it fades, if the parent learns the lessons and comes to full acceptance, she may well find herself closer to her child than ever before. We shall see if Sarah’s mom is able to walk this path all the way through to the other side.

@madisonchance: Here’s hoping they can progress in their view of you. :/

@Pierrah: Thank you! This feels like a very big step to me. I wanted to be realistic with it, make it believable, and that means Mom will try compromise first.

@Cath: Yep. And realistically speaking, there’s some going back as well as going forth in these stages. And remember, depression comes next! I hope to make it an interesting and entertaining journey, but that also means there will be sorrows as well as joys.

@JinxMinx: Absolutely!

@DarkKyo: Hee hee. Thank you very much!

@TheWinter: I feel you on so much there. It is terribly costly to a child to be forced to conform to a gender not native to their spirits and souls. The irony of all of this is, the parent can do the worst things from the BEST motivations. The parent can genuinely THINK what they are doing is right because…. Well… that’s what the culture teaches them is right. It’s the ‘common sense’ thing to do and, as Albert Einstein said, "Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen."

If I may be forgiven for invoking a second quote so soon, often this choice comes from fear…. Even realistic fears…. for their child. In ‘The Transgender Child’, an amazing book by Stephanie Brill and Rachel Pepper, they point out that “all parents are sometimes misguided by fear and confuse that with love." Does that make them an “A****le”? I don’t know. Personally, I think it makes them human, but that does not mitigate the harm they’re doing a young and impressionable young mind that is forming a view of the world and of themselves through their parent’s example.

@crazy_goodfellow: It’s a step that will be very meaningful to Sarah. It’s not all that she needs, but it is part of what she needs.

@SarahDot: What a pretty avatar picture! And I like the point you make here. We’re all people, hopefully doing our best. Our Best is not necessarily what someone else needs, but perhaps it’s all we can do…. For now.

@KateBornstein: First, allow me to say SQUEE! And thank you. There are some frustrations out there that it’s taking a while for mom to get where we all want her to get. I dunno, though. I think if that had been done with, say Casablanca, we’d have “Rick gets the letters of transit, Ilsa and her husband come to his café, he gives them the letters, and they escape.” Sure, it would mean Rick did the right thing right away, but how satisfying would that be? 15 minutes, then the credits roll, and we don’t get to see anything about Rick and Ilsa’s history, we don’t get to see Rick’s demons or Ilsa’s regrets…. The drama would be gutted and nobody would remember the movie except as a footnote. In telling a narrative, sometimes the direct route is the least interesting in the end. And in EVERY narrative, the conflict drives the story. In The Princess, Mom’s journey is a huge part of the conflict that keeps the story going. Alas, because this is a biweekly four page webcomic we don’t get to the happy (or unhappy) ending in under two hours. That’s serial fiction for you. I sincerely hope to keep people entertained enough to keep reading. I appreciate your comments, and all the support you’ve given me in the past and now. =)

@JenOleander: I was also very blessed with supportive parents above and beyond the call of duty. =) Still, I wonder what it would be like to have been a kid NOW, and not to have sunk into the years of denial but to have asserted myself as firmly as does Sarah. But, in the 70’s, Sarah’s would be a very different story. =/

@Flitterella: Absolutely! Wendy is now offering some acceptance, and that’s not nothing. It may be hard for Sarah to remember with some of the challenges coming up, but…. She is trying and deserves SOME credit.