Villainy Minor

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Foul

Evil Emperor Nick

on Oct. 4, 2007

Havenshire Harbinger October 5th 2007

Not a Laughing Matter: By Vinessa Tress

Perhaps it is just me but there seems to be a whole wing of science for researching things that have no value other then to fill in space magazines durring slow news weeks. For example there seems to be a whole wing of science dedicated to finding pointless and trivial differences between men & women. It has long been established as a fact that girls rule so really what else is there learn?

Apparently there is an awful lot of scientific study to be done applying the duh principle. Basically duh style research means you take something that everyone knows, research it to death and then declare your shocking results. For example a recent study established that men and women in college talk almost exactly the same amount. This new data debunks a previous, apparently made up, study which found that women talk twice as a much as men. Further advanced sociological studies have been conducted which conclude that women interoperate humor where as men merely laugh at things that are funny. Of course I question just how qualified scientists and researches, well known for their hysterical a universally appealing humor in line with computer geeks and nerds, to conduct any sort of study that requires them to select examples of quality humor. According to the research all female humor is based around body weight and self image where as male humor tends to focused around painful crotch injury. They went onto stay they found male humor more inline with the humor appreciated by brain damaged mental patients.

Please stop to think about this for a second. At some point some researcher came into the room and told his team. "Grab some three stooges tapes and your whole Sandra Bullock collection. It is critical to find out what mentally damaged people find humorous. Our whole study and gender differences hangs in the balance." And so they went through the day having armed guards bringing brain damaged people and showing them movies. How did this enhance the study I really have to wonder.

What ever happened to the plucky scientist that wanted to cure cancer and invent a flying car or at least a better mouse trap. I'd even settle for science inventing a stylish shoe for females not designed to cripple the wearer. Instead science marches elsewhere apparently. It truly makes me wonder what other areas this team researched that didn't make it into the article I read. We can only wonder if this team decided it was important to investigate the way cats react to the Wedding Crashers. I truly wonder, who funds these things? Who in the right mind decided that of all the things they could spend there money in that this was it?

Recently I've decided to do some research of my own. I'm going to invite my friends of both genders together and ask them which movie they would like to see Young Frankenstein or Ms. Congeniality. Personally I don't care I like them both but I'm hoping it will be enough to get me a grant.