You Know Nothing

Author notes

Watashi no Podu

ZenKai

on Aug. 21, 2007

As I may have pointed out, this is intended as an exaggerated reflection of my own life. You'll note that as my character appears, he always has an earbud in his right ear. This is accurate. I have my iPod with me 24/7, and I have an audiobook playing at almost all times.

Further, I am, in point of fact, a ninja. Now, I don't mean the real-ultimate-power, pajama-wearing, has-event-the-slightest-chance-of-getting-taken-by-a-pirate-in-a-fight Ask-A-Ninja, but a genuine, honest-to-god, been-training-in-Ninjitsu-since-he-was-16, scar-painted combatant. And yes. My iPod is black.

All I could think about during those commercials was that all itâ??d take to drop one of those dancing idiots is a neon green jumpsuit and a piano wire.