cowtoon First Prev - Freddy Vs. Jason - Pickle Rick - McBain - See You Next Tuesday - Die Hard - How the Grinch Stopped up Christmas - It's a trap - Thanks for giving? - Michael Myers in Star Trek Space - Treehouse of horrors - Ghostbusters! - Feed me Seymour Rick and Morty visit The Simpsons - Rip Cowtoon - Balloon - Homecoming - WIGGUM - Worst Comic Ever - Professor Frink - Wet Willy - Smithers - Flaming Moe - I kick ass for the lord - The Simpsons - Red Baron - You've got Snoopy in my Mr. Peanut. No you've got Mr. Peanut in my Snoopy - Mr. Peanut - Poopy Snoopy - Zombie Charlie Brown - Land of Confusion - Snickers - Robocow - Bionic Pee Stream - Don't fear the reaper - We can rebuild her - Propane Crisis - Cudora's Commercial - Head in my hole - Yellow - Shit Magnet - Bird Shit - Grenade - Mini Hitler clone - Iron Schlong - Family Reunion (the right comic this time) - Family Reunion - paco's dad - The good ol' days - Beef it's what's for dinner - Stunt Double!!! - Take me to the farm - heir apparent - Pig Nightmares - Fat or Pregnant? - Happy St. Patrick's day! - Frogger - Roadkill - Funeral - Snow Zombie!!! - Pole Licking - Star Whores: the Fat menace. - Snowball fight!!!! - Don't eat the yellow snow cow - Wake up! Why don't you put on a little make-up. - Dodo - Taking out Hitler - Giving Birth to yourself - Leave it to Bieber - ho ho ho, now I have a T-rex - Mayan Calendar - I have created fire! - Crossroads - Elvis - Thomas Edison - Time Travel part 2 - Time Travel part 1 - Back to the Present - Happy Thanksgiving!!! - Times they are a changing - Even Steven - Zombie Poo apocalypse # 4 - The first cowtoon - Zombie Poo apocalypse # 3 - Zombie Poo apocalypse # 2 - Zombie Poo apocalypse pt 1 - Headless Horseman - Trick or Brains - Hot dog guy (11) - Hot dog guy (pt 10) - Hot dog guy (pt 9) - Hot dog guy (pt 8) - Hot dog guy (7) - Hot dog guy (pt 6) - Hot dog guy (pt 5) - Hot dog guy (pt 4) - Hot dog guy (pt 3) - Hot dog guy (pt 2) - Hot dog guy (Pt 1) - Fan art - Bailey goes to heaven (Part 3) - Bailey goes to heaven (Part 2) - Bailey goes to heaven (Part 1) - Putting the FUN in funeral - I'm batman - One-eyed Monster - Head wound - Oh yeah! - Beat down - Chainsaw beats machete - wwjd - Sharpie - FPI - Fart flame - An ass related miracle - Skunk - Black market - It's peanut butter with no jelly time! - Cactus hugger - The Vet pt 3 - The Vet pt 2 - The Vet pt 1 - Playing catch - Glaucoma - Doink - Cataracts - The birth of Cowtoon - Phantom ball pain - Lesson 3 - Lesson 2 - Lesson 1 - Apples - Punt the baby - The smell of BS - Baby Punch - Mercy killing - Taste the rainbow - Shrunk - Porker's - Where's the beef? - Wormhole extreme - Baby batter - dumb and dumber - Crazy cow - Jealousy - Branding the bull - I only have eyes for you - Happy Sexual assualt day!!!! - Bullshit - Ninja - What do you want on your tombstone? - Poop in the mail - Aeroplane - DMV - Touched by an angel: pt 8 - Touched by an angel: pt 7 - Touched by an angel: pt 6 - Touched by an angel: pt 5 - Touched by an angel: pt 4 - Touched by an angel: pt 3 - Touched by an angel: pt 2 - Touched by an angel: pt 1 - Ginger bread man: part 4 Gingerdead man - The Gingerbread man Part 3: Gingzilla - Ginger bread man: part 2 The Stunt Double - Ginger bread man: part 1 - Merry Christmas - It's a very Cudora Christmas: Part 6 - It's a very Cudora Christmas: Part 4 - It's a very Cudora Christmas: Part 3 - It's a very Cudora Christmas: Part 2 - It's a very Cudora Christmas: Part 1 - Yellow snow - Bad Ass - Jason Voorhees: part 4: The final chapter? - Jason Voorhees: part 3: Hand job - Jason Voorhees: part 2 The penalty - Jason Voorhees: part 1 - Happy Thanksgiving - Grinder - Candied Cock - Steak 'er Ham - End of days - How many friends does it take... - Now with 80% less pig - Turn me right round - ostrich - Happy Halloween! - Bad Date - Trick or treating - Witch Slap - I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast - Bite-sized braaaiiins - Flipping the bird - Zombie filler - Just a swingin' - Griff did it - Die Duck Die - For your insolence you will diet - Leprosy - New Bff - Ladies first - Piggy Bank - Killer sexbot from the future - Duck - Sex duel - The Simpsons - Revenge is a piss best served warm - Exploding performance - Hey diddle diddle - Dude looks like a lady - Aborter - Shoot a cow - Snake bite - Fatty - Lonliest number - Baby (redraw) - Act like your shit don't stink - Blod clot - The Evil Twin - Bumchecka 5 - Bumchecka 4 - Bumchecka 3 - Bumchecka pt 2 - Bumchecka pt 1 - Fat Ass Burger Chinese - Will have sex for food - Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? - What would you do for a klondike bar? - Picking up the pieces Explosive diarrhea - I yam what I yam - Can't breathe - Bug zapper - Killos - Cudora's cooking - Coin box Sick - Happy Birthday Paco! - Playing with my heart - Preggo again? Womb - Anal Bead Duck hunt - Happy Ether - Cloning Cudora (Cudora through time pt 5) - Fetal Punching (Cudora through time pt 4) - Global Warning (Cudora through time pt 3) - Doc Brown (Cudora through time Pt2) Fux Capacitor (Cudora through time pt 1) - Facehugger - crotchel cream - Guardian demon - Needle in a haystack - Written in stone - Mail call! - Tumor - Head from a hole in the ground - New Baby - Mutha Fucka - Bubble gum 300! - snow cone - The not so Amazing Spider-Cow - Watchin' tv - Milk (part 3: Sequel to the sequel) - Milk (part 2: The Lactatining) Milk (part 1) - Love finger - Weenie in a bottle - Head like a hole - Drug induced coma - Huh-huh chicken - Cupid - Money - Vacuum Freezing out - Mcamputee - Ass buddy to the rescue - Mccheese please - Mayor Mccheese - Grinder - Merry Christmas!!! - Shower time - Bowels of hell - Stairway to earth - Escaping hell - Throw an Oompa Loompa - Cudora vs the Oompa Loompas - HGH burger - Oompa Loompa - Cudora goes to hell - Stuck Pig - I just can't do it! - Confession - Catching up with Cudora - Mcdonald - luv shack - Frame up - Brain spill - Hunted Old Mcdonald - Happy Thanksgiving! - Birth of Cudora Well - Cyborg Jesus - Robocop - Filler - Stomach punch - Rebooting - Reboot - Clown - Pervert - Killing Judas Return of Jesus cow, again - BOOM! - True Colors - Book store - Stop the baby eating - sucker punch - Baby eater - smores - Muffin - Hug it out bitch - Golly gee! - Necronomicon - BBQ - Saw - Vulture - Chocolate rain Puny porker - God's wife - Beware an angered god - And ye shall know my name. My name is Bailey and I am here to kick ass! - Red rocket - Genie - Dog farts - Filler - The return of Cow Jesus - Brians! - One legged horse zombie - Ninja kick-ass skills - Weiner watching - No brains - Time to nut up or shut up - Contributing to sexual deviance - Zombie a go-go - Lil' Goat bastard - Goatbusters! - Griff lives? Griff is dead - Flower power - Paco's clone - Easter - April fools - Cliche bad guy comes back at the very end comic - Ketching up with Heintz - First aid - Die hot dog guy die! - Fight! - 201, not nearly as climatic - 200! - Henchmen - brokeback - Goat lover - Hey Heintz - Ho ho ho now I have offically ripped off die hard - Unit 1 is dead - My dead hot dog has a first name... - The farting bush - Mother mucker - Sexy pig - Counting sheep - Warm weiners dog meat? - Jesus walks - Boo hoo big blue - Resurrector - Death of Zeus - The death of Cudora - Book of Jesus - The battle begins - Zeus - Destiny - Jesus kill - He puts the Christ in Christian - Savory Savior - Jeswich - 5 dollar baby! - Cry baby Jesus - Whose your daddy? - Stabbing fetus - Not a donkey punch And a bastard is born... - Merry Christmas!!!! - Twelve drummers drumming - Eleven pipers piping - Ten lords a leaping - Nine ladies dancing - Eight maids a milking - Seven swans a swimming - Six geese a laying - five golden rings - Four calling birds - Three french hens - Two turtle doves A partridge in a pear tree - Happy endings - Cow crap? Honestly? - plop spot - An extra large order of cow poop please. Hold the corn. - Confronting the alien - Paco: Pig of action! - Pop em' and drop em' - The stomach breach! - Replacing the pig - G.W. - Stranded! Alien invaders! - My only friend the end - Rescuing the pig! - The torture - The Dart 2 - The dart - Football friend - All hooked out - The first job - Bait shop - Da ho's! - Gonna hook - Paco quits - McRobber 2 - McRobber! - The Audtion process - Hitler Boss - Return of the cow: part 2 - Return of the cow: Part 1 - Dingle suprise prize - Trouble with Dirk - New job - The road to Whoresville - Bullet proof goat Paco leaves the farm - Insurance? - Gerbil - Chicken curse - Spider-pig - Super high - Spooky origins - Intervention - Petting zoo - Viagra goat - Too tender - Milk Stand? - Why the long face? - A horse with no name, but he's got a huge-ass schlong. - Revenge of the poo pig! - Pain pills - Veal - The fainting goat - Korn poo 100! Past, present and future collide - The naming of the two. - Establishing dominance - The Pooh pig! - The Piddler! - The Bovine Avenger: the first adventure The bovine avenger! - Genie of the bong - The pig and the wig Ground beef - And that cat came back the very next day - On the boring old farm - Drunk cow - catapult - Boned - Godllik (Killdog) - Cat got your tongue - Pet cemetary 2: Thriller! Pet cemetary part 1 - Pig Porn! - Cat scatch fever - Let sleeping cows stand. - Bird brain Bumchecka! Pig tail - The Wimp 2: Revenge of the nerd The Wimp part 1: The juicing of the roids - Salesman 3: Sales with avengence - Salesman 2 Salesman 1: the infomercial - DAMNIT ALL TO HELL YOU STUPID GIMP! - Egging - 4 Wangs (revisited) - Sex Change! - Cop 3: The clinching of the bum. - Cop 2: the incarceration Cop1: The bong incident - High five! - Don't make me use my pimp hand. 2 heads are better that one, well maybe, - Smoking Head like a hole Donkey show - Surgeon? - Swine flu 2! - The end? - No piggy backs! - Blindside - Constipated! Return of the hot dog guy! Part 1 rise from the asses - 50! It's a calf! No wait its a pig, wtf? Bad ass - Swine flu - Enter the ass! Viagra! - Slaughter house 2 Slaughter house. - Peg leg, hook hand and eye patch. Oh my. - Peg leg pig 2 Shot in the cow and the Pig's to blame. He gives Pigs a bad name. - Easter Bunny - Puppy - Alien 3: The probing - Alien? part 2 : Rise of the backstory alien? - Hot dog guy vs Pig 3: Revenge of the pig Part 2 - Hot dog guy vs Pig 3: Revenge of the pig Part 1 - Hot dog guy 2: Die hot dog guy die Hot dog guy! - Fart Flame! - Cold out. - Misfire! - The King Vs the Clown part 3 of 3 - The King Vs the Clown part 2 of 3 The King Vs the Clown part 1 of 3 - The Glove - Valentines day - Oink! - Death of a pig part 2 death of a pig - Lost remote - cow tipping - BBQ! - Christmas year round - two santas - Merry Christmas - Cow Christmas! - Four wangs? - The return - Jason Voorhees, Michael Myers, Freddy Krueger and Ronald Mcdonald - milk me! - Thanksgiving farm style. - Milk Mustache - Happy Thanksgiving! - Spotted Cow - Gerbal in the ass. - Nasty fart - Preggers - Good old pigskin Next Last First Prev - Freddy Vs. Jason - Pickle Rick - McBain - See You Next Tuesday - Die Hard - How the Grinch Stopped up Christmas - It's a trap - Thanks for giving? - Michael Myers in Star Trek Space - Treehouse of horrors - Ghostbusters! - Feed me Seymour Rick and Morty visit The Simpsons - Rip Cowtoon - Balloon - Homecoming - WIGGUM - Worst Comic Ever - Professor Frink - Wet Willy - Smithers - Flaming Moe - I kick ass for the lord - The Simpsons - Red Baron - You've got Snoopy in my Mr. Peanut. No you've got Mr. Peanut in my Snoopy - Mr. Peanut - Poopy Snoopy - Zombie Charlie Brown - Land of Confusion - Snickers - Robocow - Bionic Pee Stream - Don't fear the reaper - We can rebuild her - Propane Crisis - Cudora's Commercial - Head in my hole - Yellow - Shit Magnet - Bird Shit - Grenade - Mini Hitler clone - Iron Schlong - Family Reunion (the right comic this time) - Family Reunion - paco's dad - The good ol' days - Beef it's what's for dinner - Stunt Double!!! - Take me to the farm - heir apparent - Pig Nightmares - Fat or Pregnant? - Happy St. Patrick's day! - Frogger - Roadkill - Funeral - Snow Zombie!!! - Pole Licking - Star Whores: the Fat menace. - Snowball fight!!!! - Don't eat the yellow snow cow - Wake up! Why don't you put on a little make-up. - Dodo - Taking out Hitler - Giving Birth to yourself - Leave it to Bieber - ho ho ho, now I have a T-rex - Mayan Calendar - I have created fire! - Crossroads - Elvis - Thomas Edison - Time Travel part 2 - Time Travel part 1 - Back to the Present - Happy Thanksgiving!!! - Times they are a changing - Even Steven - Zombie Poo apocalypse # 4 - The first cowtoon - Zombie Poo apocalypse # 3 - Zombie Poo apocalypse # 2 - Zombie Poo apocalypse pt 1 - Headless Horseman - Trick or Brains - Hot dog guy (11) - Hot dog guy (pt 10) - Hot dog guy (pt 9) - Hot dog guy (pt 8) - Hot dog guy (7) - Hot dog guy (pt 6) - Hot dog guy (pt 5) - Hot dog guy (pt 4) - Hot dog guy (pt 3) - Hot dog guy (pt 2) - Hot dog guy (Pt 1) - Fan art - Bailey goes to heaven (Part 3) - Bailey goes to heaven (Part 2) - Bailey goes to heaven (Part 1) - Putting the FUN in funeral - I'm batman - One-eyed Monster - Head wound - Oh yeah! - Beat down - Chainsaw beats machete - wwjd - Sharpie - FPI - Fart flame - An ass related miracle - Skunk - Black market - It's peanut butter with no jelly time! - Cactus hugger - The Vet pt 3 - The Vet pt 2 - The Vet pt 1 - Playing catch - Glaucoma - Doink - Cataracts - The birth of Cowtoon - Phantom ball pain - Lesson 3 - Lesson 2 - Lesson 1 - Apples - Punt the baby - The smell of BS - Baby Punch - Mercy killing - Taste the rainbow - Shrunk - Porker's - Where's the beef? - Wormhole extreme - Baby batter - dumb and dumber - Crazy cow - Jealousy - Branding the bull - I only have eyes for you - Happy Sexual assualt day!!!! - Bullshit - Ninja - What do you want on your tombstone? - Poop in the mail - Aeroplane - DMV - Touched by an angel: pt 8 - Touched by an angel: pt 7 - Touched by an angel: pt 6 - Touched by an angel: pt 5 - Touched by an angel: pt 4 - Touched by an angel: pt 3 - Touched by an angel: pt 2 - Touched by an angel: pt 1 - Ginger bread man: part 4 Gingerdead man - The Gingerbread man Part 3: Gingzilla - Ginger bread man: part 2 The Stunt Double - Ginger bread man: part 1 - Merry Christmas - It's a very Cudora Christmas: Part 6 - It's a very Cudora Christmas: Part 4 - It's a very Cudora Christmas: Part 3 - It's a very Cudora Christmas: Part 2 - It's a very Cudora Christmas: Part 1 - Yellow snow - Bad Ass - Jason Voorhees: part 4: The final chapter? - Jason Voorhees: part 3: Hand job - Jason Voorhees: part 2 The penalty - Jason Voorhees: part 1 - Happy Thanksgiving - Grinder - Candied Cock - Steak 'er Ham - End of days - How many friends does it take... - Now with 80% less pig - Turn me right round - ostrich - Happy Halloween! - Bad Date - Trick or treating - Witch Slap - I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast - Bite-sized braaaiiins - Flipping the bird - Zombie filler - Just a swingin' - Griff did it - Die Duck Die - For your insolence you will diet - Leprosy - New Bff - Ladies first - Piggy Bank - Killer sexbot from the future - Duck - Sex duel - The Simpsons - Revenge is a piss best served warm - Exploding performance - Hey diddle diddle - Dude looks like a lady - Aborter - Shoot a cow - Snake bite - Fatty - Lonliest number - Baby (redraw) - Act like your shit don't stink - Blod clot - The Evil Twin - Bumchecka 5 - Bumchecka 4 - Bumchecka 3 - Bumchecka pt 2 - Bumchecka pt 1 - Fat Ass Burger Chinese - Will have sex for food - Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? - What would you do for a klondike bar? - Picking up the pieces Explosive diarrhea - I yam what I yam - Can't breathe - Bug zapper - Killos - Cudora's cooking - Coin box Sick - Happy Birthday Paco! - Playing with my heart - Preggo again? Womb - Anal Bead Duck hunt - Happy Ether - Cloning Cudora (Cudora through time pt 5) - Fetal Punching (Cudora through time pt 4) - Global Warning (Cudora through time pt 3) - Doc Brown (Cudora through time Pt2) Fux Capacitor (Cudora through time pt 1) - Facehugger - crotchel cream - Guardian demon - Needle in a haystack - Written in stone - Mail call! - Tumor - Head from a hole in the ground - New Baby - Mutha Fucka - Bubble gum 300! - snow cone - The not so Amazing Spider-Cow - Watchin' tv - Milk (part 3: Sequel to the sequel) - Milk (part 2: The Lactatining) Milk (part 1) - Love finger - Weenie in a bottle - Head like a hole - Drug induced coma - Huh-huh chicken - Cupid - Money - Vacuum Freezing out - Mcamputee - Ass buddy to the rescue - Mccheese please - Mayor Mccheese - Grinder - Merry Christmas!!! - Shower time - Bowels of hell - Stairway to earth - Escaping hell - Throw an Oompa Loompa - Cudora vs the Oompa Loompas - HGH burger - Oompa Loompa - Cudora goes to hell - Stuck Pig - I just can't do it! - Confession - Catching up with Cudora - Mcdonald - luv shack - Frame up - Brain spill - Hunted Old Mcdonald - Happy Thanksgiving! - Birth of Cudora Well - Cyborg Jesus - Robocop - Filler - Stomach punch - Rebooting - Reboot - Clown - Pervert - Killing Judas Return of Jesus cow, again - BOOM! - True Colors - Book store - Stop the baby eating - sucker punch - Baby eater - smores - Muffin - Hug it out bitch - Golly gee! - Necronomicon - BBQ - Saw - Vulture - Chocolate rain Puny porker - God's wife - Beware an angered god - And ye shall know my name. My name is Bailey and I am here to kick ass! - Red rocket - Genie - Dog farts - Filler - The return of Cow Jesus - Brians! - One legged horse zombie - Ninja kick-ass skills - Weiner watching - No brains - Time to nut up or shut up - Contributing to sexual deviance - Zombie a go-go - Lil' Goat bastard - Goatbusters! - Griff lives? Griff is dead - Flower power - Paco's clone - Easter - April fools - Cliche bad guy comes back at the very end comic - Ketching up with Heintz - First aid - Die hot dog guy die! - Fight! - 201, not nearly as climatic - 200! - Henchmen - brokeback - Goat lover - Hey Heintz - Ho ho ho now I have offically ripped off die hard - Unit 1 is dead - My dead hot dog has a first name... - The farting bush - Mother mucker - Sexy pig - Counting sheep - Warm weiners dog meat? - Jesus walks - Boo hoo big blue - Resurrector - Death of Zeus - The death of Cudora - Book of Jesus - The battle begins - Zeus - Destiny - Jesus kill - He puts the Christ in Christian - Savory Savior - Jeswich - 5 dollar baby! - Cry baby Jesus - Whose your daddy? - Stabbing fetus - Not a donkey punch And a bastard is born... - Merry Christmas!!!! - Twelve drummers drumming - Eleven pipers piping - Ten lords a leaping - Nine ladies dancing - Eight maids a milking - Seven swans a swimming - Six geese a laying - five golden rings - Four calling birds - Three french hens - Two turtle doves A partridge in a pear tree - Happy endings - Cow crap? Honestly? - plop spot - An extra large order of cow poop please. Hold the corn. - Confronting the alien - Paco: Pig of action! - Pop em' and drop em' - The stomach breach! - Replacing the pig - G.W. - Stranded! Alien invaders! - My only friend the end - Rescuing the pig! - The torture - The Dart 2 - The dart - Football friend - All hooked out - The first job - Bait shop - Da ho's! - Gonna hook - Paco quits - McRobber 2 - McRobber! - The Audtion process - Hitler Boss - Return of the cow: part 2 - Return of the cow: Part 1 - Dingle suprise prize - Trouble with Dirk - New job - The road to Whoresville - Bullet proof goat Paco leaves the farm - Insurance? - Gerbil - Chicken curse - Spider-pig - Super high - Spooky origins - Intervention - Petting zoo - Viagra goat - Too tender - Milk Stand? - Why the long face? - A horse with no name, but he's got a huge-ass schlong. - Revenge of the poo pig! - Pain pills - Veal - The fainting goat - Korn poo 100! Past, present and future collide - The naming of the two. - Establishing dominance - The Pooh pig! - The Piddler! - The Bovine Avenger: the first adventure The bovine avenger! - Genie of the bong - The pig and the wig Ground beef - And that cat came back the very next day - On the boring old farm - Drunk cow - catapult - Boned - Godllik (Killdog) - Cat got your tongue - Pet cemetary 2: Thriller! Pet cemetary part 1 - Pig Porn! - Cat scatch fever - Let sleeping cows stand. - Bird brain Bumchecka! Pig tail - The Wimp 2: Revenge of the nerd The Wimp part 1: The juicing of the roids - Salesman 3: Sales with avengence - Salesman 2 Salesman 1: the infomercial - DAMNIT ALL TO HELL YOU STUPID GIMP! - Egging - 4 Wangs (revisited) - Sex Change! - Cop 3: The clinching of the bum. - Cop 2: the incarceration Cop1: The bong incident - High five! - Don't make me use my pimp hand. 2 heads are better that one, well maybe, - Smoking Head like a hole Donkey show - Surgeon? - Swine flu 2! - The end? - No piggy backs! - Blindside - Constipated! Return of the hot dog guy! Part 1 rise from the asses - 50! It's a calf! No wait its a pig, wtf? Bad ass - Swine flu - Enter the ass! Viagra! - Slaughter house 2 Slaughter house. - Peg leg, hook hand and eye patch. Oh my. - Peg leg pig 2 Shot in the cow and the Pig's to blame. He gives Pigs a bad name. - Easter Bunny - Puppy - Alien 3: The probing - Alien? part 2 : Rise of the backstory alien? - Hot dog guy vs Pig 3: Revenge of the pig Part 2 - Hot dog guy vs Pig 3: Revenge of the pig Part 1 - Hot dog guy 2: Die hot dog guy die Hot dog guy! - Fart Flame! - Cold out. - Misfire! - The King Vs the Clown part 3 of 3 - The King Vs the Clown part 2 of 3 The King Vs the Clown part 1 of 3 - The Glove - Valentines day - Oink! - Death of a pig part 2 death of a pig - Lost remote - cow tipping - BBQ! - Christmas year round - two santas - Merry Christmas - Cow Christmas! - Four wangs? - The return - Jason Voorhees, Michael Myers, Freddy Krueger and Ronald Mcdonald - milk me! - Thanksgiving farm style. - Milk Mustache - Happy Thanksgiving! - Spotted Cow - Gerbal in the ass. - Nasty fart - Preggers - Good old pigskin Next Last Author notes Merry Christmas!!! machinehead on Dec. 23, 2010 I don't care what you say, Santa is a creepy stalker. 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