Thread "Carnivorous Gerbil Survival Game" in forum "MAFIA... and other forum games"

Posted at 2:10PM, Oct. 6, 2007

Okay, this is like zombie survival, only a bit different…

GET TO THE GREEN ZONE.
Reports of carnivorous, flesh-eating gerbils that kill and eat anything have been circulating across the internet. Now they've reached your suburban childhood town.
Your elderly mother is in the house just to the North. she's given you a phone call saying she loves you, and you know that the gerbils are slowly devouring her. You have no way to save her, let me just tell you that right now.
Your stats:
Sanity points: 100
Success points: 10
If any of these two stats get completely depleted, you fail and die. Success and sanity points are lowered at my discretion, and if you cross the defunct telephone wires between the tops of the buildings.
You can't go on the ground–it's lined with a fine film of gerbils waiting for someone to tear the skin off of.

The sewers are filled with unusual amounts of methane–this factor contributed to the sudden outbreak of these gerbils.
If you destroy any building, that's 40 sanity points off, because it's your childhood town. The same for one if you destroy them all.
In the building to the west, there's a weedwhacker.
To the northeast, your friend has a tattered copy of "A guide to conversational carnivorous gerbil." You may be able to reason with these creatures if you pick it up–but it's stained with who-knows-what, and you know you'll only be able to make out the way to say "Explode," "Command," and "His/her." These gerbils are known to be gullible, but they're still intelligent enough to have their own language and strategies.
Your inventory: A hand grenade and a pogo stick.
I will be grading this.
Good luck…you're gonna need it.

Posted at 11:10PM, Oct. 6, 2007

OK, I have to put my foot down. Carnivorous gerbils is just plain fucked up. If you come up with shit like this, I can see why you were forcefully ejecyed from the top drawer. I'd actually (most likely) do this if it were anything BUT carnivorous gerbils. I will now officially ignore your dumb ass for this.

Posted at 12:10AM, Oct. 7, 2007

I can see why you were forcefully ejecyed from the top drawer.

Blood, the TD would rape your soul. It would devour all of your sanity and feast on your delicious mind. When it was done, there would be nothing left but a withered husk of a Sonic Fanboy.

Oh, and that soul raping? It would be ANAL soul raping.

Posted at 8:10AM, Oct. 7, 2007

Blood, I really don't know why carnivorous gerbils offend you so much. They aren't racial stereotypes or something, they're just gerbils that act like piranhas. If you've got a problem with that, you're a TD wannabe and nothing else.

Now, who wants to actually play this game?

Posted at 3:10PM, Oct. 7, 2007

i would i dont see any thing offensive….unless a gerbil is look at this right now lol

ok

I cross the wire to the weed whacker then go back from where i started, then make my way tward the guide and then get the guide and ask my freind to wipe the stuff off, then use the guide to ask the gerbils to make a bridge to help me cross [if they said no i would make them do it by useing the weed whacker i got] then use the pogo stick to jump on the gerbils heads to get to the safe point

Posted at 8:10PM, Oct. 7, 2007

OK, I have to put my foot down. Carnivorous gerbils is just plain fucked up. If you come up with shit like this, I can see why you were forcefully ejecyed from the top drawer. I'd actually (most likely) do this if it were anything BUT carnivorous gerbils. I will now officially ignore your dumb ass for this.

Don't be an ass.

Posted at 9:10AM, Oct. 8, 2007

i would i dont see any thing offensive….unless a gerbil is look at this right now lol

ok

I cross the wire to the weed whacker then go back from where i started, then make my way tward the guide and then get the guide and ask my freind to wipe the stuff off, then use the guide to ask the gerbils to make a bridge to help me cross [if they said no i would make them do it by useing the weed whacker i got] then use the pogo stick to jump on the gerbils heads to get to the safe point

Alrighty then…

–You've lost a whopping six success points by just trying to avoid your mom's death, since the longer wires are harder to cross. In my humble opinion, since nothing else would have decreased your sanity points, you should have just crossed over, what the hell.
Possibilities to get both weedwhacker and guide:
Cross over mom's place once, go around once: -5 success, -40 sanity
Cross over mom's place twice:-3 success, -80 sanity (best option, since your strategy doesn't involve destroying any buildings)
Go around twice: -6 success, -0 sanity

–The guide, if you remember, has only three word translations: "Explode," "command," and "his/her." I highly doubt you can arrange those words into "build me a bridge." -3 success

–jumping across with a pogo stick was a good idea, but you didn't use it in conjunction with the weedwhacker for maximum effect. -1 success:

RESULTS:
Alive/dead: Dead. I'll admit this was the first mission I created, so it's pretty hard to do. I'll make the next scenario soon…

EDIT: Being dead in this mission doesn't affect your participation in the next mission, bluebot. That goes for everyone else for the rest of the game…

Posted at 6:10AM, Oct. 9, 2007

sry dave but i think i am goin to pass on this game….. crazy gerbal's??? lol but it is extreamly original give ya that lol good luck with this one and i posted in zombie survival your score check it out.

Posted at 4:01AM, Jan. 6, 2008

(okay i'll play along but onlycuz its 4a.m. where i live)
i get the weed wacker and remove the blades, i then dive into the sewer, i clear the cow fart gas around my airface with the weedwaker and go through the manhole and use the ernade to clear thegerbils inbetween me and the building and get the book. yah.