Thread "I like Middle Eastern food and I have a story about poop (these two things are not related)." in forum "Meet, Greet, Show and Sell*"

Posted at 9:01PM, Jan. 25, 2011

Hi. My name is Jake Richmond. I've just started posting my comic this week, so I'm totally new here. I'm a game designer, comic colorist and part time teacher. I like Middle Eastern food, but I hate tomatoes. Hate.

Can I share a story? This will tell you everything you need to know about me. I've already posted it in the embarrasing stories thread, but… it took awhile to type, so I'd like to get some mileage out of it:

Warning: Contains poop.

I was walking over to visit some friends when… completely to my surprise, I crapped my pants. Really. It was one of those times when you think you need to fart and then… wham. Pants just full of crap. Luckily I was only about two blocks from my apartment.

I walked home as fast as I could, clenching my butt cheeks to keep any more from coming out and trying to ignore the slick, wet sensation that I imagined I could feel in my underwear. At the time I was living in a studio apartment with a shared bathroom located far down the hall (Basically a dorm) Once I was inside the bathroom I stripped off my clothes to survey the damage. Not as bad as I had thought, but still… a pants-load of poop. I hopped into the shower to clean up.

As I was showering I realized two things.

1. I didn't have a towel in the bathroom with me.
2. I didn't have a clean change of clothes (my shirt and socks had caught some "leakage" when I was getting undressed).

My apartment was located at the very end of the hall, so I was facing the prospect of having to flee down 150 feet of carpeted hallway and hope no one saw me.

And then, of course, someone knocked on the shower door. Here's what they said:

"How long are you going to be in there? We need to go to the bathroom!"

Here's what I said:

" $@*&!!! How many of you are out there?"

"There's three of us. You've been in there forever!"

I was trapped. So I did the only sensible thing I could think of. I wadded up my clothes and threw them out the window and then (dripping wet with only my coat and shoes on) climbed out after them into the rear courtyard. It was raining. And March. My apartment was ground level with a private back door connected to the courtyard, so I was able to get in without anyone seeing me. I got dressed and stepped out into the hall in time to see three guys standing around (two in bathrobes) waiting to use the toilet. I slipped on my coat and ran out the door and over to my friends house, where we played D&D all night.

100% true story.

-Jake

Posted at 4:01PM, Jan. 26, 2011

Hello Jake Richmond, and welcome to DD!

I like some Middle Eastern food, too – goat is okay, but I enjoy feta cheese the way you enjoy tomatoes.

Re your poop story, there's two other threads you might consider if you want full mileage:
Hey Everyone Look What I Did!
Rant, moan, rave and share

but then again, it might be out of gas,

*Ah ha ha ha ha ha*

Posted at 7:01PM, Jan. 26, 2011

I'd lambast you for not loving feta (the best of all cheeses), but I recognize that we each have our own tastes. Goat though! Oh man, now that we're talking about it, I'm going to have to go get some!

Re: My poop story… I considered spreading it around some more, but I don't want to get a reputation as a one story guy. Plus, at this point the story might be running on fumes.

ha ha.

Jake

Posted at 3:01AM, Jan. 28, 2011

I'm a game designer..

I always wanted to be one! Anyhow, Welcome to DD!!