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Moonlight meanderer

I'm supposed to kill somebody... I don't want to.

Posted at

There are two things in my house that do not belong here.

The first is a nice black suit. It is not mine.

The second is a small white box, lets see, about 2.5" x 1.5". On this little box there is a red light and a protective slider. Pushing the slider up reveals a single orange button.

TRANSMITTER
Model: WB-2000T

It goes on to tell me that it takes 6 volt batteries and complies with part 15 of FCC regulations. It was made in china.

Back to the suit. The brand is Hugo Boss. (I really wish I had a working camera.)

I'm 6'2" tall. I have a great deal of difficulty finding clothes that fit well. This suit fits me perfectly. It consists of a broad necked black jacket, a metalic silver button-up undershirt, and two pairs of black slacks, one pinstriped. It does lack shoes however, and I really don't have a pair that would go with it.

It is not a suit a tax collector would wear. It's a suit you would wear clubbing after wrapping a soft core porn shoot.

I have asked all of my friends anywhere near my height and build. It does not belong to any of them. It should not be in my house.

Back to the little white box. I google searched the model number and found nothing, but today I talked to a friend of mine who used to work security for the airport. She said that it is, indeed, a detonator.

I can only conclude that I'm supposed to put on the suit, go to a specific place, and push the button. That only leaves when and where. I assume I'll be contacted with instructions.

I'm not at all comfortable with this.

[edit] Y'know what? My girlfriend has a camera on her phone. When she gets back from karaoke I'll take some pictures of the suit and little white box.

Posted at

I advise you to wait until you are notified with the price you'll be paid for this endeavor. Then decide.

Wow. I didn't really think about the money… No. There's just no way. I'm a pacifist for fuck sake. Besides, if I remember correctly from watching "The Professional" (or "Leon" if your european) hit men only make $2000 a head. I mean, yeah, I got bills like everyone else, but for me to hesitate for even a second, it would have to be like… a million. I can't even pay off my truck with two grand.

[edit] And btw, I myself am not exactly convinced of my little conspiracy theory here. We just can't really figure out what else might be going on, asside from a rather elaborate practicle joke maybe, but I don't think any of my friends would think this was funny, or have the money to buy me a rather expensive looking suit just for a laugh. The whole things is just too frikin wierd…

Posted at

Man, if you ain't going to do the job then let me do it. I've been waiting for my chance.




And I need a new suit… and money.

usedbooks
usedbooks
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Posted at

Other scenarios…

~The suit is a high tech robot. The white box turns it on.

~It's a gift from a secret admirer. The "transmitter" is so they can hear your reaction.

~It was delivered to the wrong place and is supposed to go to a respected scientist delivering a speech on a revolutionary invention, which the white box is part of.

~A porn star really was going to wear the suit to go clubbing. The box is a remote control for a one-speed adult toy of some sort.

~You were slipped roofies by some rich woman who bought you the suit and did God-knows-what. The box is to buzz her for an encore.

~You are in the wrong house. Check the address. Perhaps someone coincidentally owns all the same stuff as you – plus a suit and a white box.

Rutger
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Posted at

I'll push the button, if you'd like. I've got my very own, dark-blue Hugo Boss suit already.

Come to think of it, I'm not sure where that came from…my mom got it from some place, but she never actually told me where that was…

In any case, my advise would be to sit tight, and see what happens. It's probably a big practical joke, like you said.

SamGolden
SamGolden
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Posted at

the detonator is for the hugo boss suit it comes as standard these days

where the suit came from is still a MYSTERRRRYYYYY though

Rutger
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Posted at

I've got it.
Space aliens.

crazyninny
crazyninny
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Posted at

I sense either a really good comic story, or your secertly being video tapped as we speak by a movie company.

Well! It was nice knowing you!

Posted at

yer a brainwashed cell terrrorist leader and someone forgot to give you the magic word "cratoa"

Rutger
Rutger
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Posted at

Dude, is this serious? Wtf?

You're the one with 'Detective' written under your av…HELP US SOLVE THE MYSTERY!

Hapoppo
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Posted at

She doesn't have her mutant talking dog with her right now. This mystery's gonna have to wait.

Posted at

Your story has amused me.

What she said.

Rutger
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Posted at

She doesn't have her mutant talking dog with her right now. This mystery's gonna have to wait.

For a dog like that, I'll wait!

Posted at

Sorry no pics yet. I think I'm just gonna borrow a camera from work tonight.

Posted at

I'll push the button, if you'd like. I've got my very own, dark-blue Hugo Boss suit already.

Come to think of it, I'm not sure where that came from…my mom got it from some place, but she never actually told me where that was…

I've got it Rutger's mom got you the suit! uh…no I shouldn't have gone there…

Posted at

The fish are reclaiming the land, they are using you as an unwitting double agent.

Seriously though, press the button. PRESS IT!

Rutger
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Posted at

I'll push the button, if you'd like. I've got my very own, dark-blue Hugo Boss suit already.

Come to think of it, I'm not sure where that came from…my mom got it from some place, but she never actually told me where that was…

I've got it Rutger's mom got you the suit! uh…no I shouldn't have gone there…

Now you did dun do it! *pokes you in the shoulder*

LEAVE MAH SUIT OUTTA THIS!

Terminal
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Posted at

Just got an idea.

Ask /b/ on 4chan. They'll tell you what to do.

'Tis true. Much knowledge can be provided.

Bekefel
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Posted at

Just got an idea.

Ask /b/ on 4chan. They'll tell you what to do.

'Tis true. Much knowledge can be provided.

anon1: hey guys, what should i do today? anon2: killself. anon1: okay. anon3: lol. anon4: lol. anon5: lol. anon1: oh shit guys, theres blood everywhere! anon2,anon3,anon4: ... anon1,anon3,anon4 quit the chat. anon5: lol. anon5 has quit the chat.
That actually happened and a man died, nobody laugh.

Posted at

anon1: hey guys, what should i do today? anon2: killself. anon1: okay. anon3: lol. anon4: lol. anon5: lol. anon1: oh shit guys, theres blood everywhere! anon2,anon3,anon4: ... anon1,anon3,anon4 quit the chat. anon5: lol. anon5 has quit the chat.
That actually happened and a man died, nobody laugh.
LOL!

Bekefel
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Posted at

anon1: hey guys, what should i do today? anon2: killself. anon1: okay. anon3: lol. anon4: lol. anon5: lol. anon1: oh shit guys, theres blood everywhere! anon2,anon3,anon4: ... anon1,anon3,anon4 quit the chat. anon5: lol. anon5 has quit the chat.
That actually happened and a man died, nobody laugh.
LOL!

Ah hell, I lol'd too.

FoxmanZEO
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Posted at

Take the box apart. c:

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Moonlight meanderer

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