Thread "Six-page script looking for artist" in forum "Networking & Community Projects*"

Posted at 2:01PM, Jan. 11, 2011

I'm yet another writer looking for an artist or artists to work with. So to make this slightly different than all the other similar cries for collaboration I thought I'd post an actual script.

This is not the only piece of writing I'm hoping someone wants to draw, as I have plenty of others written (including animals in space, a love story featuring a cockroach, a woman seeking revenge against a cannibalistic organization, an old-fashioned Burroughs-style adventure, a man obsessed with his lawn, and more besides … ), but at least it gives you an idea of my writing style.

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THE MAN WHO SAVED THE WORLD
Six-page one-off comic script.
Written by David Tulloch

PAGE ONE
1/1
Outside shot of a bar in the middle of Nowhere.

1/2
An old man being served a drink by a bartender. The old man starts to light up a cigarette. make sure there's a no smoking sign in the bar somewhere.
Bartender: "Hey, Pops, there's no smoking in here."

1/3
The old man pauses, not quite lighting his cigarette
Old man: "You should show more respect, Sonny…"
"Don't you know … I'm THE MAN WHO SAVED THE WORLD."
TITLES … the main title can be the speech bubble from the old man with large words for the title bit.

PAGE TWO
2/1
Old man: "I'll tell you a story, sonny, and then you'll let me have my smoke."

2/2
Bartender "I'll listen, gramps. It's a slow day. But it's no smoking in here."
Old man: "We'll see … Back in the day I worked for the government. Nothing special…"

2/3
[ "… just one of the people that stayed near the president." ]
Younger version of the man in a suit, next to the president.

2/4
[ "I carried the suitcase sometimes. Yeah, THE suitcase." ]
Carrying the suitcase with the button, handcuffed to his wrist.

2/5
[ "Although mostly I just told him how his hair was, if his shirt was untucked, or if was time for lunch." ]
The suited man holding up a mirror for the president to pose at.

2/6
[ "I was with him when the aliens showed up." ]
A flying saucer over the White House.

PAGE THREE
Nine panel 3x3 page.

3/1
Back in the bar.
Bartender: "Aliens?! You're crazy, old man. There are no aliens."

3/2
[ "Oh, there's aliens alright. Ugly, smelly sons of slime balls with tentacles and death rays." ]
A suitable alien.

3/3
Bartender: "Sure, ya old coot … and the government hushed it up, right. Ha!"

3/4
Old man: "Of course. You think the president would admit he surrendered Earth to the aliens?"

3/5
Old man: "But he didn't really have a choice. Not after they'd blown up Sheboygan."

3/6
Bartender: "Now I know you're crazy … I've got an aunt in Sheboygan."

3/7
Old man: "Seen her recently?"
Bartender: "Actually, … no."

3/8
Bartender: "But people would notice if Sheboygan was blown up!"
Old man: "You sure, Sonny?"

3/9
[ "The surrender ceremony was long and boring … "]
The mothership.

PAGE FOUR
One larger panel across, then three smaller panels below.

4/1
[ "Speeches about the nobility of surrender, and how hard humans would work in the galactic slave mines for their new overlords." ]
Formal speeches on the mothership with aliens and humans.
[ " … and all very nerve wracking. One diplomatic mistake and they could destroy the planet." ]

4/2
[ "So I did what I always do when I'm nervous … " ]
The suited man sneaking out.

4/3
[ "I went somewhere quiet and had a smoke." ]
Lighting up.

4/4
Being discovered by an alien with a ray gun.
Alien: "Halt, Earthling! What device do you have there."

PAGE FIVE
Another nine panel, 3x3 page.

5/1
Suited man: "It's just a cigarette."
Alien: "Is it some kind of weapon?"

5/2
Suited man: "No, it's a cigarette, a smoke. It's a …, well, it relaxes me."
Alien: "Oh … "

5/3
Alien: "… can I have one?"

5/4
[ "It turned out the aliens were just as on edge as we were…" ]
Offering the alien a cigarette …

5/5
[ "Apparently the last time they'd taken over a planet someone hit the wrong button… " ]
… lighting the cigarette for the alien.

5/6
[ "… and instead of balloons and streamers falling from the ceiling they'd incinerated all the foreign dignitaries." ]
Sharing a joke while smoking together.

5/7
[ "It also turned out the aliens loved cigarettes…" ]
Other aliens also taking cigarettes from the suited man.

5/8
[ "Seems the Ammonia, Benzene, Carbon Monoxide and other garbage in smokes was like fresh air for them." ]
Several aliens smoking.

5/9
[ "Reminds me of a summer breeze on the old home world, one of them told me." ]
The suited man talking friendly-like with the aliens while smoking.

PAGE SIX
6/1
[ "So they tore up the surrender treaty and we signed a trade deal instead." ]
Alien and human shaking hands formally after signing deal.

6/2
[ "That's when governments all started banning smoking everywhere … to reduce the Earthly demand…" ]
The no smoking sign in the bar.

6/3
Back in the bar, the old man talking to the bartender.
"Why else would politicians do something as unpopular as telling people not to smoke? They gave up all that tax as well, just to meet the demand from the aliens."

6/4
The old man getting ready to light his cigarette.
Old man: "Anyhow, that's how I saved the world… so can I have my smoke now, Sonny?"

6/5
Bartender: "Um, sure, mister. Maybe I should have one of those as well?"
Old man: "Oh no, sonny boy, these'll kill you …"

6/6
Old man smiling a smokey smile.
Old man: "… just not as fast as a death ray."

###END###

Posted at 3:01PM, Jan. 11, 2011

Interesting. Where would you post the finished product?

Posted at 4:01PM, Jan. 11, 2011

@Genejoke
In some ways that depends on the finished project. There are some comic anthologies that would take a strip this long. Some places may even (god forbid) pay for it. But most likely it'll just go up on DD and other web places (maybe a printed anthology as well) as an example of 'our' work.

Posted at 5:01PM, Jan. 11, 2011

I'm not a great artist but I can give you some moderate cartoon pages possibly but not only am I a poop head but I'm also really really lazy when it comes to story comics but I'd like to try if you'd give me the chance.

I'd like to not be accepted until one whole page I draw is done which I'll try and do that.

(PSST: PICK GENEJOKE IF HE OFFERS, HE ROCKS)

So I'm gonna see how bad I suck but I do offer me.

My body too.

For anything.

And everything.

I'm kidding.

Sort of.

Still kidding.

Posted at 8:01PM, Jan. 11, 2011

No 1337 you belong to me!!!!

I'll help out. If you've got some one for this script I can help out with some of your other stuff.

I'm completely unreliable though.

Posted at 1:01AM, Jan. 12, 2011

@1337 Thanks.

Sadly I am a little swamped for the next couple of weeks. beyond that… maybe. I like the script and would certainly be interested in doing something in the future.

Posted at 6:01AM, Jan. 12, 2011

That's a pretty interesting script. Reminds me of the big dilemma it is smoking in USA (in my country smoking is super common) Anyhow. Even though I do kind of got a side project going on which I haven't updated in a while (sorry Genejoke) I think I am willing to do this since it is just 6 pages

Posted at 7:01AM, Jan. 12, 2011

@Asbin. Don't worry no hurry on that I'm behind enough on that anyway.

Posted at 11:01PM, Jan. 12, 2011

Wow … thanks for the feedback. I was so overwhelmed I actually went into my shell all day and did nothing. I wasn't expecting a single offer, let alone so many. I hope I can do something with all of you, and will reply individually to you.