guys, what do you say to girls at a party to strike a conversation?
i like to start with openers that don't really have a point but are kind of funny and would appeal to girls. for instance:
"would you be offended if i asked what size pants your are? cuz today at work i offered a customer a size 10 when she was really a 4. i tried to cover with saying '…cuz you're a 10!'"
it sounds cheesy but it actually works. it's fun to kind of think these openers up (i'm sorry ladies but i'm kind of shy otherwise :/) and guys can't just carry a convorsation with "hey how's it going?
i found that other things like being very quirky at strange kind of works too. what about you guys?
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you like stuff too? ....hah that's cool.
Observe the background and make a small talk comment.
Talk about the weather or ooh nice necklace… or ooh nice watch… something like that. Try to crack a joke or something. lol!
DO NOT TELL THEM HOW BEAUTIFUL THEY ARE OR ELSE YOU ARE SETTING YOURSELF UP FOR BEING A DOORMAT. AND IT DOESNT MATTER WHAT YOU SAY BUT HOW YOU PROJECT YOURSELF.
You should be chin up, stomach in, straight body, try make your voice as deep and 'musical' as possible. Do not show weakness. Or they will sense that and ruin everything.
Hope that helps.
However I am as good as a keyboard jockey in typing what I just typed. Because I havent really 'practiced' in a long time because I feel like shit when I put up a fake facade. :(
I'm not a guy sorry, but I don't agree with Kyupol at all. Sounds like he's quoting some 'dating help expert' that only applies to very hard to get classy women, not a girl at a party.
If you are too shy to use 'hi how are you', do this;
Make up some weird question that she can answer with her Opinion.
Example: 'my guy friend is having a problem, he doesn't want to approach girls because they always shut him down at partys, why do girls put up that cold act?'(she'll want to prove you wrong and be nice, or well i did….lol)
Another Example:'what do you think about guys who buy all that 'self-help dating for players' stuff? Does being mean and overconfident really get the girl?'
okay the example were sorta lame, but if anyone gets the idea- just a suggestion.
I'm not a guy sorry, but I don't agree with Kyupol at all. Sounds like he's quoting some 'dating help expert' that only applies to very hard to get classy women, not a girl at a party.
Those dating help stuff I thought was total bullshit at first. But after I got fed up of being rejected by women, it activated this kind of interest to gather alot of information about dating and how to get women to like you.
In a state of total collapse, the human mind becomes a sponge and ready to try everything out there. I was desperate in getting laid. So I immersed myself in all that dating theory bullshit.
Anyway some of the stuff I read DIDNT WORK and some DID.
In my case, I learned that things like 'cocky and funny' as well as 'neghits' work alot. As well as maintaining a macho act. I worked at a retail store once and that was when I experimented heavily on using 'C & F' as well as 'neghits' and that macho act attitutde. Of course mix it up with acting like a gentleman and smiling and all. There has to be a certain balance to it.
Got me good vibes from the women there. However there were bad effects. This old woman who I 'practiced' on got really attracted to me that when I had a day off, she was screaming all over looking for her 'boyfriend'. One of my co-workers asked her who her boyfriend is and she clearly referred to ME. Then she told her that she will not shop here if I am not around. And when I'm around, she would purposely fill up her cart so that it would be necessary for me to help her with her stuff all the way to her car.
I was able to get a co-worker in bed. And this woman I met in college to do it in her dorm.
Anyway finally I realized that those weapons of evil are not to be used for manipulating others. Though at the most, I'd used those skills when I've done it with escorts in the past so I'd get more for my money. :)
EMOTIONS CAN BE MANIPULATED. That includes your own. Emotions have been manipulated by salesmen and politicians for the most part. However, the more difficult part is manipulating your own emotions – a skill I'm currently learning.
In the end, I'd be better off staying single than putting up a mask and deceiving women just to get sexual pleasure. Sexual pleasure at its physical level is not as pleasurable as real sexual pleasure that involves the spiritual aspect.
I'm never hit on by guys, but here's something NOT to do, or anything like this.
I play WoW, and I'm in a guild that's made up primarily of people from my university. I recently went for a few days without being online, and when I logged next I had this message. It was from "Unknown" and the subject was "<3" and it was just 3 gold and a "formal white shirt." I couldn't reply, meaning "unknown" wasn't a name.
I'm assuming it's someone from my school who made an alt character, sent it 3 gold and the shirt, sent it to me, then deleted the character so it would show up as "unknown."
SEE, THAT'S CREEPY, AND NOT A GOOD WAY TO GET GIRLS. AT ALL.
Among my better lines are 'wow, this carpet is filthy', 'I wonder if you can tell a man's age just by looking at his penis' and, -my best I reckon- 'once I picked at a loose piece of skin on my foot, and when I peeled it off the entire layer on the sole of my foot came off'.
Broken so hard I was left with powdered ice, and a collection of disgusted glares to treasure forever.
I'm not a guy either…
but making the first move is always a plus for guys.
also dancing. Bust out with your slick moves. It never fails. First impressions can be well met with just dancing.
Also things like, "I have the same pants at home." Get a laugh. Be sociable.
>.>
<.<
Then again I'm always the one passed out on the floor at parties.
I'd love to give advice, but I'm really only good at giving joke advice. Wrong person to talk to here, as I've been told that I come across as the following…and generally in this order:
1. Married
2. Completely uninterested
3. Standoff-ish
4. Cocky asshole
The only advice I can give is don't sit there and compliment them nor treat them like the world, especially right off the bat. Females will tell you this is bullshit, but when you look at their track record, those kinds of people are the ones they routinely turn down, even if they aren't into the huge asshole types of guys. Any female who says differently is lying to herself and to you.
No need to be a prick, just don't be a doormat.
Generally, I'm kind of bad about picking up signals as it is, unless they're being really forward about things. I just assume that they aren't into me, so I act like it. Works well enough at times and keeps the expectations down to nothing so I rarely get disappointed.
Don't think about getting into her pants as your ultimate goal. That frees you up.
No need to be a prick, just don't be a doormat.To expand on this… Not being a doormat doesn't necessarily involve just what you say or do. It mainly comes from how you feel and from that source it permeates into everything else you say/do so you don't have to keep worrying about it.
What I'm saying is… You can be a complete gentleman, and as long as you don't feel like a doormat, then no one else will either.
Don't think about getting into her pants as your ultimate goal. That frees you up.This one gets it B)No need to be a prick, just don't be a doormat.To expand on this… Not being a doormat doesn't necessarily involve just what you say or do. It mainly comes from how you feel and from that source it permeates into everything else you say/do so you don't have to keep worrying about it.
What I'm saying is… You can be a complete gentleman, and as long as you don't feel like a doormat, then no one else will either.
Sage advice, and I don't mean "sage" in a bad way.
It's tough to talk to new people - I'm TERRIBLE at striking up conversations. So when someone comes up to me and starts an honest conversation (that doesn't start with "you look sexy" or "those are some shiny pants" etc), the effort involved is appreciated. I'm game for that.
But too true what mlai and croi are saying - we (and here I mean "girls") seem to SAY we want a nice or sweet guy (and that's true, but only to a point) - but we don't want a pushover.
I can't honestly say I know any specific way to start things off. Usually I just take advantage of whatever particular situation I'm in. For instance, if I'm in the kitchen near the drinks and she looks like she wants or needs something I'll ask what she wants to drink or if I can get her something. I don't approach saying hi as asking them on a date. I treat it like I want to be their friend and get to know them. More often than not my dates were girls that I'd met with more of an intent to be friends than anything else.
In my experience, girls don't want a doormat, or a funny guy or anything in particular other than a guy who's comfortable with himself and everything around him. The best way to meet anyone is to just act pleasant without going out of your way to please them or offend them. You can do pretty well with anyone so long as you're confident and comfortable with things. Girls can think it's cute when you're a little nervous about things, but if you act too nervous it just throws them off.
I look at it as, even if I don't date them, I get the pleasure of knowing them and having them as a friend. That's better than nothing. Knowing that means I don't have to try and as far as I've always known girls seem to prefer a guy who doesn't try too hard to get them and just wants to get to know them. Not to mention, if you treat it like you want to know them before you start trying to impress them you can find out if they're crazy or not your type or something.
Basically what I'm getting at is: don't treat it like anything other than you want to have a decent conversation. People, not just girls, appreciate that.
I just make such a ass of myself because I always wait until i'm so drunk I can't count the fingers on my hands!
But, in a time when i'm not drunk I really don't end up talking to anyone, they talk to me. I'm not making this up, I have so many tattoos on me they come up and ask me about them and it starts from there.
Or I get comments on how I am no longer in clothes. Which also happens sometimes.
As much as I'd like to disagree with it, "acting macho" is with rare exception what works for most guys. When I "act natural" or "be myself", women ignore or disregard me and guys like me. Its a shame since polite, kind, and well-mannered have to go out the door to "act macho". I don't like it but it seems to be the only way I can get lucky. Guess I'm too quiet, nice, and submissive for my own good….
Also things like, "I have the same pants at home." Get a laugh. Be sociable.
I agree with this.
To strike up a conversation with guys or girls I always look around them, pick something interesting and then make a comment or ask a question about it.
Overly-polite, always-giving-compliments guys give off creepy vibes for me. Don't be overly nice. It's weird. But don't try to be a jerk either. Pretend its one of your guy friends and keep that level.
Reading the posts in this thread just makes me so glad I don't have to do this any more!
Good luck to all of you still young enough and/or unattached enough to be playing the mating game. You have my sympathies.
Now … where did I leave my carpet slippers and that mug of hot cocoa …?
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