What makes someone act like the biggest retard ever? Being really drunk and really high, apparently.
Morgan and I went to a small get-together at our friend's house on Thanksgiving night, and it started out awesome. We were blazed, drinking sparkling grape juice and mowing face on Doritos. Fuck yeah. Then, this dumb bitch stumbles into the house and lays down on the mattress her boyfriend and brother made for her – AND STARTS SCREAMING. Screaming and crying her fucking head off because she wants her boyfriend, who is 15 FEET AWAY IN THE FUCKING BATHROOM. And when he comes out, what does he do? He ignores her. Yeah, that'll teach her a lesson, while the rest of us plan out how we're going to kill both of you at the same time. Then he calls her a slut. Awesome. Now her brother is flipping his shit and he doesn't know when to shut up. He even tried to start shit with Morgan, who only had about 130 pounds and five inches on him. We kept trying to get them to leave and they kept fighting. At one point the boyfriend DROVE OFF and left the other two behind, SCREAMING in the road. We thought someone was going to call the cops, and there was a jar full of the good stuff (*winkwink*) that I didn't care to see confiscated. We finally got rid of them, but by that point my high was lowered so much that I just wanted to sleep.
I hate trailer trash.
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Trailer Park Kids
Poor Icky. I'm beginning to hate all children. By children, I mean "teenagers" who cannot, for whatever reason, drive. I was attending COLLEGE Tuesday, and I walked out to the car only to see two "lovers" in the middle of the most ridiculous fight ever. I'm pretty sure that I'm going to pop this kid. He's standing in the passenger door of his girlfriend's car, obviously upset because she won't take him wherever he wants to go. She quietly asks him to shut the fuck up, because he's making a scene, and he yells, "YOU'RE MAKING A SCENE." He goes on to say memorable phrases such as, "YOU'RE MY GIRLFRIEND, YOU SHOULD CARE MORE!" and my personal favorite, "MY MOM PAYS YOU!" as well as, "YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME HERE! I'LL CALL THE COPS."
I don't remember being a complete dick when I was sixteen, but hey, I can't remember yesterday.
Oh, to be young and completely retarded.
Drunk people are awesome!
A friend of mine once pissed himself in a crowded nightclub because he couldn't stop playing the fruit machines.
Then he tried to dry his crotch by holding a cigarette lighter to it.
Fortunately his balls did not catch fire.
He then proceeded to by drinks for near by women, and was surprised when they failed to be seduced.
WINNER!
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